


Living Map

by Cinnamonrollgirl7



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Cinnamon Roll Bucky Barnes, Civil War (Marvel), Constructive Criticism Welcome, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hydra (Marvel), Let my boy live, Marvel Universe, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), POV Bucky Barnes, POV Female Character, POV Male Character, POV Original Character, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protect My Son, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, SINnamon roll, Slow Burn, Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-02-14 23:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 37
Words: 49,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13018461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonrollgirl7/pseuds/Cinnamonrollgirl7
Summary: After Bucky pulls Steve from the water at the end of Winter Solder, he is approached by a woman, Milly, who has been through the same experiences as him at the hands of HYDRA. The world is a difficult and dangerous place for escaped HYDRA experiments. On their journey to recovery, they get sucked it into Zemo's plan to find the other super-soldiers.  Their love for each other grows as the danger mounts and the odds stack up against them.I'm garbage and writing another fic where there are other HYDRA experiments. Don't judge me.I stuck at summaries. Read this, it's fun.





	1. Chapter 1

There he is. 

The Winter Soldier emerged from the water, the Captain’s harness gripped tight in his hand. I held my breath, waiting to see if the soldier was going to finish his mission. 

As Captain Rogers gurgled and rattled, clearing his lungs, the Winter Soldier just stared down at him with scared and confused eyes. He dropped the Avenger and stepped away, almost looking unsure. He made up his mind, and walked away. Away from his mission and away from HYDRA.

I waited until he had gotten to the outskirts of DC to get any closer to him. 

I’d been tracking him for years, I could wait a few more hours. When he wasn’t looking, I placed one of my backpacks out where he could find it. Inside was a change of clothes that I thought would fit him. I knew he wouldn’t take them directly from me so I had to make it seem like he was stealing it. 

I tucked it beside a bus stop and hide before he could see me. When he spotted the bag, he looked around, suspicious. When he didn’t see anyone, he grabbed the bag and went to find somewhere to change. When he emerged,his uniform and weapons had been safely stored in the backpack. He wore the baseball cap low, shielding his face. The jacket looked a tad big on him, but the rest of the clothes seemed to fit. He’d tucked the jeans into his boots and kept his hands buried in his pockets. 

He surprised me, though. Instead of getting on the first bus out of town, he started to head back into the city. 

“What the hell?” I muttered to myself as I followed. 

The soldier took a long and convoluted path, likely trying to shake anyone that might be following him. Finally, he stopped at the Smithsonian.  Following signs for the Captain America exhibit, he finally stopped in front of the wall dedicated to James Barnes, best friend of the Captain. 

Looking at the wall, I could see the resemblance between the soldier and the man. I’m sure it had been a long time since anyone could see James Barnes in the soldier’s stony face, but as I watched, the soldier shuffled slightly, curling in on himself. He didn’t look threatening, he just looked confused and scared. He was just trying to know who he was. 

It started to dawn on me that he really was starting to get his memory back. 

Recall was the final requirement before I could approach him.

He was ready. No if, ands, or buts about it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting two chapters back to back because the first was so short. Some chapters are stupid short, some are longer, sorry!

I sidled up next to him, being careful not to startle him. I kept my hands out where he could see and I held them palms out, unthreatening. My shoulders were relaxed, my body language open and safe. 

“Brave guy,” I said. 

The soldier didn’t openly react, but I could tell that his muscles had tightened, ready to fight or run. 

“Saved his best friend more than once. Did you know that?” 

He started to shift and look at me out of the corner of his eye. I knew what he would see. He’d see a short, young woman with big hazel eyes looking up at him. With my soft, wavy, auburn hair and sprinkling of freckles across my face, I doubted he’d feel threatened. I gave him a little smile before looking back at the wall. 

“I learned about him in school. Had to do a big project on an American hero. Did you ever learn about him?”

He shook his head, looking me over. My guess was he was looking for weapons. 

He wouldn’t find them. I’d learned how to properly hide a knife a long time ago.

“Want to learn more? I’m on my lunch break right now and have some time.”

The soldier took a step back. His hands were up to fight, but I could tell he wanted to run. 

I put my hands up in front of me as though I was trying to calm a wild animal. 

“Wow there, buddy. Was just trying to be nice. Not everyday a girl gets to talk to a cute guy at the museum.”

And I wasn’t lying. He was cute. Hell, he was down right hot. I felt bad for him; he probably had no idea what he looked like anymore. HYDRA wasn’t one to let a person use a mirror or do anything for their appearance. It was all work with them. 

He looked me over one last time and then relaxed. The soldier pointed at a bench just behind me. 

“Sit there?” he asked, his voice rough. 

“Yeah, come on,” I said. I dropped onto it and watched as he padded over on quiet feet and sat as far away on the bench as he could. 

“Talk,” he commanded.

“Well, when I was in 10th grade we had to do a project -”

“No,” he cut me off. “The truth. You’re like me, aren't you?” 

Before I could answer, he grabbed my hand in his hard, metal grasp and pulled it towards him. The force of his yank forced me to slide across the bench and up against his side. Ignoring my protests, he pushed my sleeve up, revealing clean, unmarked skin.

“I don’t know what you’re looking for, buddy, but it isn’t-”

Shit, he found the edge of the holo-skin. Gently peeling the impressive square of technology up and off my my skin, he revealed my small tattoo. 

It wasn’t anything special or cool. Just a list of numbers. HYDRA put a unique code on each of us experiments. Some of us on my little team had gotten theirs covered, but I hadn't had the time.

I’d been busy keeping track of the Winter Soldier.

“I had one of these,” he grumbled. “Lost it.” he tapped at his metal appendage with his flesh hand. “Lost my arm.”

“Yes, you did,” I admitted, folding like a house of cards. “I’m really not supposed to tell you that right off the bat, though.”

His grip tightened, painfully so. I inhaled sharply in pain, twisting my arm a little in a futile attempt to get out of his grasp.

“What are you supposed to do?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

“I’m supposed to be your friend and then tell you about the others when the time is right. You know, like when maybe you won’t kill me on sight,” I gasped, trying to focus on anything besides the pain. “There’s a little group of us. Experiments and weapons, like you. We got away. Faked our deaths and killed our handlers. We help each other break the brainwashing and recover. It’s hard getting used to this new world.” Gasping again, I felt my hand twitch in his vice like grip. “I just want to help you.”

There was silence between the two of us as he searched my eyes. His grey-blue eyes looked deeply into mine in a way that was piercing. It felt like he was looking into my very soul. The soldier’s grip slackened on my hand, but he didn’t let go.

His voice was quiet as he spoke again. 

“I don’t remember getting my number. I don’t remember losing my arm. Just have bits and pieces of memories about that... guy. The Captain. I know he lost me. Or maybe… maybe I lost him.”

Gently, I placed my other hand over the one he was holding onto me with. The metal was cold beneath my warm hand. He flinched, but didn’t pull away.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to remember everything right now,,” I told him. “If you’d like, you can come with me. We have a house way up in the Northern part of Canada. It’s far away from everyone. You can take time to learn about yourself with people who understand what you’re going through. We can help you to live your own life again.”

He growled, deep and menacingly. “And if I say no?”

“Then you say no and you leave. I won’t make you come with me. You are your own person now. You can do what you like.”

I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he thought. Finally, he released my hand. 

“I’ll come.”


	3. Travel Can Be Hard

It took us a while to sneak onto a plane. We first had to find one that was flying into Canada, and then we had to sneak into the underbelly with all the luggage. Once we were on, it was smooth sailing. We made two piles out of softer bags and sat down, trying to rest our tired feet. 

It was impossible to hear each other over the sound of the engines, so I wasn’t able to ask what he was doing when he started going through one of the bags. Eventually, he found a book in the bottom of the bag and began to flip the pages curiously.

The plane went higher and higher until eventually, it got a bit difficult to breathe. That wasn’t too hard to handle; enhanced bodies do have their perks. 

What bothered me was the cold. 

Unlike the big, muscular soldiers HYDRA loved to make, I was made for stealth. I mean, I could fight, but I was lanky. I was made to look unintimidating and unassuming. Who would look twice at the fresh faced, scrawny girl when there was more interesting things to look at?

Though, HYDRA didn’t really think about what conditions I’d end up in, such as extreme cold. Being mostly skin and bones, I was almost always cold. Regulating my body temperature wasn’t my strong suit. 

So when the temperature dropped, I started to shake. I knew I’d be fine; I’d done this before. But the soldier seemed to be nervous. 

\----

The plane was loud. 

I didn’t like it. 

There were a lot of bags and suitcases around though. I was sure there had to be something to do in one of them. I dug around until I found a book. It was a stupid book, but it was something to read. I flipped through the pages, skimming over the words. Many of the words seemed foreign to me, though they were written in English. I wasn't used to civilian life. I didn’t know what a Volvo was or why teenage girls were so interested in fucking a vampire, but the book was something to look at. 

The girl seemed content in the nest that she had made. She’d curled up deep in the center, nestled amongst backpacks and duffle bags. I was surprised she was an experiment, like me. She was so small. I always figured HYDRA wanted the biggest and the strongest to be their attack dogs.

Her wavy hair had gone frizzy and was puffing up around her freckled face. Every few minutes, she’d look at me with those big, hazel eyes, and my heart would catch in my throat. 

I guessed it had been awhile since I had been near a pretty girl that I wasn’t either trying to kill or she wasn’t trying to kill me.

It was kinda nice.

As the plane reached its highest altitude, she started to shake. I could see our breath in little clouds right in front of our mouths. That definitely threw me off; I still felt like I was wearing my muzzle. Usually, it would disperse my breath enough that you wouldn’t see it in the cold. I brushed my hand over my exposed lips, savoring the freedom. 

Her shivering just kept getting worse and worse. She’d closed her eyes at some point and wrapped her jacket tighter around her body. I shifted around, looking for something to help her. I spotted a thicker jacket poking out of the bag I had just been digging through. I pulled it out and threw it at her, causing the girl to jump and strike out at the empty air. She looked at me, confused. 

I pointed at her and then mimicked her shivering. Then, I gestured at the coat. She seemed to understand what I was trying to say, since she gave me a smile and then wrapped up in the jacket. Her lips were still blue, but I was less worried. As the plane started its descent, we put the jacket and book back in the bag we got them from and restacked all the luggage we had been lounging on. As soon as the plane had landed, we snuck out. My ears were still ringing a little when the girl spoke to me.

“Thanks for that, back there,” she said. “It helped. Come on, we need to go steal a car.”

The parking lot was filled with cars to choose from. I followed her as she ducked and weaved, looking for a car she liked. Finally, she stopped in front of a large, rugged SUV. When I looked at it, I was reminded of something, but I couldn’t quite place it. Gently, I reached out and brushed my hand against the handle. 

A memory sprung to life. I saw snowy woods and men in military get-up. We were piling into a vehicle we’d just nabbed. The blond haired man, the one I fought, was there. He patted my back and smiled. 

“ _ Good job, Bucky. Couldn’t have done it without you. _ ”

I gasped for air when the memory ended. The girl was next to me, holding onto my arm to stabilize me. 

“Did it bring something back?” she asked.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. 

“That’s good. It’s a start. Now, keep look out. I need to break into it.”

It didn’t take her long. Once she had the driver’s door open, she popped the hood and hotwired the car. We both got in and started our long drive north. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of these chapters are so short! Ugh! Sorry!

“So what should I call you?” I asked, glancing over at the brooding man in the passenger seat.

“The man, Steve... he called me Bucky…” his voice trailed off. 

I nodded. “He did. I can call you that if you want or I can call you something else.”

He kept his eyes down cast, though they shifted back and forth as he tried to make a decision. I remember when I was offered this choice. It's a hard one to make, especially when you don’t know much about yourself. 

“Bucky,” he said, his voice stern. His decision had been made. “My name is Bucky.”

I smiled. “Nice to meet you Bucky. I’m Milly.”

Bucky gave me a nod and then went back to looking out the window. 

Our drive was long and it was quiet. We would stop at least once a day so I could sleep for an hour or two and so we could stock up on some food. We kept our liquid intake low to minimize bathroom breaks. 

I don’t think Bucky knew what to do with the food I gave him. The meals weren’t huge, but he acted like they were gigantic. 

I had forgotten how little HYDRA fed its experiments. 

Can’t let them get too big, right? Then they might fight back.

The first time I gave him a proper meal, he scarfed it down like a starving man and threw it back up an hour later. After that, I started feeding him plain meals of a smaller size. Each day, I bumped up the amount and the complexity so that he could gradually get used to it. We quickly discovered that he had a sweet tooth. Every time we stopped, he would buy or steal at least 5 chocolate bars. He was always sure to hide them, scared I'd steal them away. I promised him I wouldn’t take the candy, but Bucky didn’t believe me. The only way I knew he had eaten them is I would spot little smears of chocolate in the corner of his mouth and in the grooves of his metal hand. 

I still have no idea how he ate them without me noticing. I mean, I’m sitting a foot away from him. 

We didn’t talk much. Mostly, I just chattered about things we passed. I’d explain restaurants, clothing styles, and anything else I spotted. Bucky was nearly silent. He’d talk to ask for food, for bathroom breaks, or to point something out to me (like the deer I nearly hit). We didn’t learn anything about each other, but I had grown to care about the confused man. There was something about him that made me want to protect him.

Finally, we reached the end of the road. 

“Alright, stay in the car. I have to send up some flares and then the others will come get us on the four-wheelers. Keep the car running, I don’t want you to get cold.” I got out and popped the back hatch and dug around in my backpack for the flare gun. I needed to send up one for me and one for Bucky so that they would bring enough winter jackets and enough four-wheelers. I held it up above my head and shot off two in quick succession. Red sparks flared into the air, blooming against the grey sky like bright flowers. I watched the sparks start to flutter back down before I climbed back into the warm car. 

“And now we wait.”

Wait we did. Eventually Bucky insisted I turn the car off to save gas.

“We don’t know when they could be coming. The gas won’t last until tomorrow. If we get too cold, we can turn it on for a minute or two.”

I nodded and got out to shut the car off. Slamming the hood back down, I dislodged a slight dusting of snow that had settled on the car. I hopped back in, my teeth chattering. Bucky handed me a blanket he nabbed from the backseat and covered himself with a second one. 

“Does it always take them this long?” Bucky asked.

I shrugged. “It varies. Depends on how many people are at the house and how many are out hunting and scavenging.”

Once the sun had set and darkness fell, the temperature took a dive. Bucky hunched in on himself, trying retain some heat. 

“We need to huddle together. Scoot over,” I instructed, flipping the armrests up between us. 

He shook his head, his eyes panicked. “Bad idea.”

“Its that, or burn more of the gas.”

Groaning, he relented. Scooting over in the seat until he was flush against the door, he allowed me to crawl in beside him. It was a tight squeeze, but I knew we could make it work. We layered the blankets over ourselves and pulled our hoods low, hoping to warm up a little. 

I’m not sure when, but at some point, I fell asleep. When I woke up, my face was pressed up against rough cloth and I felt something strong wrapped around me. I tried to sit up, but I was stopped. 

“Don’t move,” Bucky hissed.

That’s when I realized I was laying against his chest and he was holding me against him with his hard, metal arm. 

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

Bucky waited a moment, his hot breath wafting just over my head. 

“Someone’s out there.”


	5. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Things are... crazy. Hope everyone had a good winter holiday ( if you celebrate) and hope everyone has a good new year.

I froze, listening closely. A long, sustained whistle rang out, followed by three short bursts. When I heard that, I relaxed. 

“It’s the others. Come on.” I reached across him and opened the door, forgetting that he was leaning against it. He tumbled out, and since he was holding onto me, I tumbled out after. Bucky landed in the dusting of snow with a huff. I landed on his chest, knocking the air out of both of us. 

With a flip of his hips, Bucky rolled us over so I was lying in the snow and he was hovering over me. Thinking he was having a flashback, I put my hands in front of my face, ready to protect myself against his attack. But nothing came.

I heard yells and snarls coming from the tree line as Bucky growled low in his throat. Peeking up, I saw that he was on his knees and had one hand braced next to my head. His other arm was up, gun aimed at out at the approaching figures. Bucky’s white teeth were bared as he glared out into the darkness. His messy hair fell across his face, moving with his breath. 

“Hey, mate! Get off of her!” I heard Jeremiah call. “Off! Or I shoot!”

“Don’t shoot, Jer!” I yelled. “Guns down! Everyone!”

When Bucky didn’t move, I gently touched his shoulder. 

“Put the gun down, Bucky. We can trust them,” I crooned. 

Slowly, he lowered the gun and sat back, letting me crawl out from under him. 

I heard heavy footsteps as someone ran to me. My friend, Dimitri, dropped to my side and draped a down filled coat around my shoulders

“Damn it, Milly. You’re freezing.” He pulled the jacket tighter around me and helped me up to my feet. Bucky rose silently beside us, eyeing Dimitri carefully. 

Dimitri was older than me by many years, though he didn’t look it. He looked about 17, all arms and legs and messy black hair. His dark, nearly black eyes were hooded by heavy lids. His Russian accent may had lightened from years of travel and living out in the wilderness, but his skin had darkened from working in the sun. Dimitri’s body ran at a higher temperature than anyone I had ever met. He could go outside in the dead of the Canadian winter in only a long sleeve shirt and jeans and be perfectly comfortable. He’d go out hunting like that and stay out for hours at a time, unlike me who refused to go outside in the winter without three layers of clothes on.

Neither of us would admit it to anyone, but we were each other’s favorites. I made sure he ate enough while he made sure I stayed at a decent temperature. As I mentioned before, my body, unlike his, had trouble regulating temperature. So if I was in the cold, I could get too cold. If I was in the heat, I could get too hot.  

But I didn’t know what Bucky was like and began to worry when I didn’t see Dimitri handing him a coat. 

“He needs a jacket too,” I said, my teeth chattering. 

Jer stomped out of the woods, a thick jacket in his hands. He tossed it to Bucky, who deftly caught it and began studying the newcomer. 

Jeremiah was Dimitri's opposite in nearly every way. He was the youngest of us, but he looked the oldest. If I had to guess, he looked about 40. A healthy, muscular, strong 40, though. His hair was platinum colored and his skin snow white. His eyes were large and pale blue, much like the cold, nearly frozen lakes that littered the forest. 

“Jer, where’s Kris and Jaylah?” I asked, crowding closer to Dimitri for warmth. He put his arms around me and gently tucked me under his chin. 

“Back at the cabin. You and the soldier can take one of the ATVs back,” Jer instructed. “Dimitri and I will go and abandon the car somewhere and be back later.”

I nodded and slid out of Dimitri’s grasp. I got my bag from the back and handed Bucky his. He slung the backpack on and looked back at Jer. Dimitri handed me the keys to his four-wheeler and gave me a little smile.

“Drive safe, kid.”

“Whatever, old man,” I snarked. He laughed good-naturedly and went around to hotwire the car. 

“Come on, Bucky,” I said. “Let’s get you somewhere warm.”

He didn’t answer me. Jer and Bucky had locked eyes and were having some sort of unspoken staring contest. Moving slowly, not breaking eye contact, Bucky bent low and snagged the blankets from the snow; they had fallen out of the car when I had dumped the two of us onto the ground. He shook them out before gesturing for me to lead. Walking between the two posturing men, I went over to Dimitri’s four-wheeler. I strapped my bag down on the back and did the same to Bucky’s once he had joined me. We tucked the blankets under our bags and hoped that it would be enough to hold them down.  

I climbed on the ATV first. Bucky shuffled his feet in the snow for a minute, debating something in his mind. 

I patted the seat behind me. 

“Let’s go, buddy. Time to get inside.”

I pulled my helmet on and handed the other to him as he slowly tossed his leg over the seat. I hadn’t realized how large he was until he was pressed flush against my back. Even through all the layers, I could tell he was built like a shit-brickhouse. As he wrapped his arms around my middle, I swallowed thickly.

This was going to be a long ride. 


	6. A New Point of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, since I'm shit with updates. Enjoy, my friends!

When the car door opened and I fell out, I didn’t mean to pull her out with me. As soon as I realized I still had ahold of her, I made sure to cushion her fall with my body. Her hair flew up in my face as the powdery snow puffed up around us. 

I didn’t wait to catch my breath as I flipped her over and crouched low, shielding her body from any possible attack. As I rolled us over, I grabbed the gun that I had tucked into the waistband of my jeans. 

Somehow, during our travels, I’d grown attached to Milly. The scrawny girl reminded me of… something or someone. I felt like it was my responsibility to look after her and protect her. Her life was more important than mine. I had nothing and no one. She had friends and a home. 

My stupid hair fell in my face as I searched the tree line for attackers. I felt my lips pull back, flashing my teeth, as I heard noises. 

“Hey, mate! Get off of her! Off! Or I shoot!” a male called

Milly started yelling, her voice panicked. “Don’t shoot, Jer! Guns down! Everyone!”

I didn’t lower my gun. I kept it trained on where I heard the voice come from. It wasn’t until I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder that I reacted.  

“Put the gun down, Bucky. We can trust them,” Milly whispered, her voice velvety soft.

Still glaring into the trees, I dropped my arm to my side and let her up. As soon as she was out from under me, a dark haired youth came sprinting out of the woods wearing only loose jeans and a short sleeved shirt. In one hand, he held a heavy coat and with the other hand, he was tucking his gun into his holster. His breath came in billowing wafts as clouds puffed from between his lips. I felt my fingers twitch on the gun, ready to fire if he attacked. Instead, he sank down beside Milly and wrapped her in the jacket. 

“Damn it, Milly. You’re freezing,” he hissed. I watched him carefully as he helped Milly to her feet. 

Milly’s eyes became fixed on me. “He needs a jacket too,” she mumbled, her blue bottom lip trembling in the cold. 

A second man emerged, though he looked far older and moved much slower. His silvery hair stood out in the darkness. He moved in a way that screamed  _ dangerous  _ and I felt myself not trusting him in the slightest. He tossed me a jacket, which I easily caught. As I put it on, I looked the man over, though he only had eyes for Milly. 

Milly shuffled closer to the dark haired man, nuzzling into him. The boy held her close, but in a way that seemed nonthreatening. It was obvious the two shared a close bond and trusted each other. 

“Jer, where’s Kris and Jaylah?” Milly asked, her teeth still clicking and chattering. 

The blond man spoke. “Back at the cabin. You and the soldier can take one of the ATVs back. Dimitri and I will go and abandon the car somewhere and be back later.”

She nodded and moved away from Dimitri, the dark haired boy. She retrieved our bags and as she did so, I noticed the lighter haired man, the one that Milly had called Jer, watching her every move. His eyes slid over her legs longingly. I quietly cleared my throat, catching his attention. We locked eyes, silently sizing each other up. He knew I had seen him, I could tell. I only looked away to take my backpack and put it on. Once it was firmly over my shoulder, I went back to glaring at Jer. Dimitri and Milly were talking off to my side, but I had tuned them out. Instead, I was focusing on keeping Jer away from Milly. 

“Come on, Bucky,” Milly said “Let’s get you somewhere warm.”

I didn’t respond, instead choosing to focus on Jer. Moving slow, so as to not cause him to attack, I picked up the discarded blankets from the ground and knocked the snow off of them. Milly moved swiftly between Jer and I, breaking our eye contact. I followed after her and watched as she strapped her bag down. She took mine and did the same before tucking the blankets underneath the backpacks.  

She clamored onto the four-wheeler, being careful not to knock the helmets off the handles and onto the ground. I realized then that I would have to sit close to her. 

Being close to people wasn’t high on my list of things to do. What if I slipped up and hurt her? My brain wasn’t exactly stable. It had been nerve wracking enough in the car. Being on an open, moving vehicle together was going to be ten times worse. 

She smacked her open palm on the seat and insisted I get on. She dropped one helmet onto her head, shielding her face from view. 

As I put one leg over, she handed me the other helmet. I pulled it on, being careful of my ears. She felt so small as I wrapped my arms around her. I was, again, amazed she was actually an experiment, like me. Milly seemed too innocent and kind and  _ tiny _ . 

She zipped away on the trail, whipping past trees and shrubs. I kept myself low, nervous that she would crash. I fully planned on yanking her off the vehicle and being a cushion for her if that happened. 

Being so close and holding her so tight seemed to do something to me though. My heart was beating hard, my blood rushing through me hotly. The vibration of the ATV pushed us closer together until I was pressed flush with her back. The ends of her hair, which were left out of her helmet, whipped widely, striking my exposed throat. I felt myself involuntarily shiver at the idea of brushing my hand through her hair. 

A few minutes in, I noticed that her hands were starting to change color on the handles. The cold was going to freeze her. I tapped on her arm and gestured for her to pull over. Once she had, I yanked my helmet off, stepped off the ATV, and took her hands in my only flesh one.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice muffled by the visor.

Gently, I breathed hot air onto Milly’s blue fingers, hoping to warm them. When that wasn’t working fast enough for my taste, I unzipped my jacket and slipped her cold little hands just under the edge of my shirt and against my hot stomach. 

I always ran hot. I never really knew why. I guess it's from what HYDRA did to me. 

Milly grew stiff as she touched me and I did my best not to flinch away. The only memories of skin to skin contact were always in connection to a beating. This was the first I could remember of gentle touches to my skin. 


	7. Tiny Murder Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have guilt issues. Here's a third post for the night.

I felt myself freeze when my hands touched the hot skin of his stomach. My cheeks burned and I was silently thankful that he couldn’t see my blush. After a moment, he made me flip my hands over, to press the backs into his flesh. I didn’t speak, waiting to see what he was going to react at being touched skin to skin. 

It normally took a long while before any of us experiments were okay with a skin to skin touch. We were so used to brutality, that we’d keep ourselves as covered as possible to avoid our skin touching another. Little touches like helping apply holo-skin or removing a bandage didn’t bother us as much but big touches were hard to get used to. For him to blatantly press my hands to his naked flesh was not to be taken lightly. 

“I’ll drive,” he said gruffly.

I protested, “You don’t even know the way.”

Bucky shrugged. “You’ll guide me. But you can not be exposed to the weather like this. Keep your hands inside of your sleeves while we ride, do you understand?”

His commanding voice caused butterflies to take flight in my stomach. I struggled to find my words, mentally kicking myself for showing any weakness.

“Fine,” I conceded. “When we need to turn, I’ll tap on your side. Whichever side I tap, you turn that way, okay?”

He nodded and then slowly removed my hands from his shirt. The sudden loss of warmth made the cold air seem even colder. I did as he said and drew my hands into my sleeves. I scooted back on the four-wheeler, letting Bucky get on in front of me. He moved swiftly, but was sure not to hit me in his awkward attempt to straddle the bike. I wrapped my arms tightly around his middle, pressing myself into his body. He hadn’t zipped his jacket, so my hands slid along his side, feeling heat radiate through his shirt. Bucky revved the engine a few time before taking off. Navigating turned out to be easier than I originally thought. Anytime we needed to turn, I would just tap him and he would listen. It took some time, but we eventually got to the lodge. Bucky slowed our approach when the front door opened and a child stepped out. She held a massive gun and she was aiming it squarely at us. 

“Jaylah!” I yelled, startling Bucky and making him jump. “Put the gun down, goddamnit!”

“Milly!” the little girl screeched, dropping the gun and sprinting barefoot through the snow. I hopped off the bike and scooped her up, getting her tiny feet away from the cold ground. Her hair had grown so long since I had last seen her. It crimped and curled out and away from her smooth, dark brown face. Her smile was big and bright, as were her chocolate eyes. 

Jaylah had been apart of an experiment gone wrong. Sometime during the 50’s, HYDRA kidnapped a woman for their experiments. What they didn’t know was that she was pregnant. The woman didn’t die from the experiments, like some people did, but she didn’t grow stronger either. Instead, she became docile and quiet. She died in childbirth, but the world received Jaylah.

Jaylah’s strong, fast, and has a high metabolism. Her cell regeneration helps in healing, but it also slows her growth both physically and mentally. She looked about 6 and was partially stuck in that mind set. We had hopes that as she grew, her mind would develop with her. So far, we just had a small murder child running around being destructive and unpredictable. She was known for doing horrible things, not knowing that they were bad, so we’d taken to keeping a close eye on her.

The girl was incredibly violent. The way she had escaped was by biting the throat out of her handler and then setting off a grenade. She wandered around on her own for a while until Kris found her. They grew close and Kris essentially became Jaylah’s mother; she even named the small child.

“Hello, dear. Look how much you’ve grown!” I said, using my free hand to tickle her. She howled with laughter, kicking her pudgy feet. 

“I look the same, Milly!” she giggled. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bucky step off the ATV and remove his helmet. When he did so, Jaylah stilled, looking at him with a combination of fear and curiosity. 

“Jaylah, this is my friend, Bucky,” I said, trying to calm her. She waved her small, chubby hand at him shyly, which he returned. Bucky carried in our bags and blankets while I carried Jaylah inside. The lodge was warm and inviting, just as I had remembered it. It had been so long since I had been here; I’d been busy tailing the Winter Soldier. Bucky and I took our jackets off in the front hall to hang them up. As soon as my arms were cleared, Jaylah wanted me to pick her up again. I followed my nose into the kitchen where I found Kris cooking. I sat Jaylah onto the counter and cleared my throat, making Kris jump.

“Milly! So good to see you!” she cried, hugging me tightly. The spoon that was still gripped tightly in her hand dripped something warm down the back of my shirt. “I figured I could whip up something as a welcome home meal. You know none of this lot will complain about a second dinner.”


	8. Trust and Touches

Kris was our oldest, only a year or two older than Dimitri. She had been a nurse in World War II for the English. Her accent, unlike Dimitri, had stayed strong and posh. Her pin-straight yellow hair hung in long curtains on either side of her heart shaped face. Her plush pink lips kissed my cheek and her long eyelashes caught tears from her green eyes. 

Even though Kris is the oldest, she has never had any interest in being the leader. Dimitri and Jer shared that role. It works best this way, anyways. If we ever had to go into town, which was always an ordeal, Jer would pretend to be Kris’ dad, Dimitri pretended to be her boyfriend (since they looked about the same age), Jaylah would sometimes be Kris’ daughter from a past relationship and sometimes would claim to be Jer’s youngest daughter. It just depended on the day. When I would go to town with them, Jer would usually insist I was his younger girlfriend. Thankfully, no one ever questioned it. The town was a popular tourist location for hikers and campers, so there was a lot of turnover. No one really lived in it, all the workers commuted from another town, where less tourists wandered about. No one ever noticed how slow we were all aging. 

Kris looked over my shoulder, spotting Bucky. 

“So you found him?” she asked, letting go of me and setting her spoon down on the counter. Kris walked up to Bucky and put her hand out for him to shake, smiling warmly. “My name is Kristin, doll. Everyone just calls me Kris though.”

Startled, Bucky just looked at her hand. After a moment, Kris put her hand down. 

“Bucky is still getting used to things,” I explained, going to his side. I lightly touched his arm and felt him relax slightly. “Why don’t I show you your room?”

Kris and Jaylah stayed in the kitchen to continue cooking while I took Bucky upstairs. 

“I should have shook her hand.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Bucky. If you don’t want to shake her hand, you don’t have to.”

He nodded, his hair swaying around his face. “I don’t know her yet,” he mumbled. “Can’t trust her.”

My stomach did a flip at his words. He’d let me touch him out in the woods, meaning he felt he knew me. He actually  _ trusted _ me. 

Before I could respond, Bucky spoke. “Did you build this place?” he asked, his voice quiet, yet curious. 

I shook my head. “Dimitri and I found it a long time ago. It was a bit beaten up but we got it fixed. Later, we met Kris and Jaylah and then we found Jer. He’s the one who told us about you. A few years back, I decided to go out and see if I could find you. I wasn’t allowed to interfere with anything; it could jeopardize the whole group. I had to wait until you were on your own and starting to recall. It's kinda the rules for living here.”

Bucky nodded, his eyes downcast as he took in what I said. I lead him down the hall to one of the empty rooms. I had told Jer and Dimitri to get it fixed up for Bucky so that when I returned, he’d have his own room. I just hoped that they listened to me. They told me they had when I would meet them.

Every few months, one of them would locate me and check to make sure I was holding up. They’d give me updates about the others and I’d give them updates about Bucky.  

When I opened the door, I was met with a fully furnished and freshly painted room. The bed was queen-sized, giving Bucky plenty of room to stretch out. The closet door looked new as did the dresser beside it. I stepped further into the room and opened the curtains, knocking some dust loose. I coughed, waving my hand to disperse the dust. 

Bucky was at my side right away, rubbing and patting at my back. 

“In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Just breathe,” he crooned, his tone comforting. He sounded different; his voice younger, happier, and less burdened. 

“I’m okay,” I managed to choke out. “I’m going to need to clean up in here for you.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, I can do it. Think about your asthma.”

I looked at him, confused. 

“Bucky, I don’t have asthma.”

He blinked a couple times, shaking his head. “No, you don’t. Steve does. Little Steve, I mean. He was little then, like you.” His voice was back to it’s deep gravelly tone. 

I rubbed my hand up and down his bicep, startled by how muscular he was under the loose clothes. 

“It’ll be confusing for a while. The past and the present will overlap. Hell, it still does for me sometimes. But we’ll work it out, okay? How about we go get some rags and get rid of all the dust in here.”


	9. Learning to Eat Again

Cleaning the room didn’t take long. And I liked being close to Milly. When she would need to squeeze past me in the small space, she’d place her hand on my back, letting me know she was there. 

Over the years, I had come to hate being touched by anyone. But when Milly touched me, it was gentle and kind. It made me feel safe instead of scared. Once we had finished, she showed me where things were in the lodge. 

“Here’s the bathroom,” she said, pointing to one room right across the hall from where I was to stay. “There are a few others, since the place is so big, but we’ve boarded up a lot of the halls to keep the heat close to where we are. This here is my bedroom.”

Milly opened the door to our right and lead me inside to see her room.

It was laid out in about the same way as the room she’d given me. Though, I could see bits of her personality everywhere. She’d drawn and written on her walls. Words scrawled and curled around drawings of flowers and animals that were drawn in a stylized manner. They weren’t realistic, but I knew what they were right away. The thick blanket on her bed was a dark navy blue, unlike the clean white one on the bed I was to sleep on. Little trinkets and figurines littered the top of her dresser, each of them covered in a thick layer of dust. 

“Ugh, I’ll have to clean in here too.”

“I’ll help you clean it,” I offered, hoping she’d say yes. She smiled at me, but before she could answer, Jer came to the door and rapped harshly on the door frame with his knuckles.

“What are you two up to?” he asked. He sounded stern and frustrated. 

Milly didn’t seem to notice the possessive way he was looking at her. 

“Hey Jer! We just finished cleaning Bucky’s room and we’re about to do mine,” she said cheerfully. 

He looked me over before answering. “Kris just finished cooking. Come downstairs.”

Milly tossed her rag onto her bed and gestured for me to do the same. She lead me from the room, chattering away about how good Kris’ cooking is. I nodded, trying to listen, but focusing more on the way Jer was hovering at her shoulder. The longing in his eyes was clear, but Milly didn’t pay him enough attention to notice.

Just off the kitchen was a large dining room. Most of the tables had been pushed over to the wall except for the two in the middle, which were pressed together to form one, long table. Jer pushed past me and sat at the head of the table. Kris was bustling back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room carrying plates and bowls piled with food. I watched her, eyes wide at the amount of food. Dimitri came into the room and gave me a smile before taking the other end across from Jer. Milly gently touched my elbow and gestured to the table. Slowly, I stepped forward and took a seat next to Dimitri. 

Milly patted my shoulder and went to sit opposite me. As Kris came in with the last platter, Jaylah sprinted in at top speeds, making me jump. She crawled into the seat beside me and promptly glared at me. 

“That’s my seat,” she complained.

I stood to let her have it, but Milly made a tutting noise. 

“Jaylah, he can sit there, at least for tonight. Be polite and share,” she said.

Jaylah huffed a little but plopped back into her seat. Dimitri picked up a bowl and began to serve himself before passing it to me. I scooped some onto Jaylah’s plate and then handed it to Milly. 

She looked at me, confused. 

“Don’t you want some green beans?” she asked.

I looked around, nervous to talk in front of everyone. 

“You first,” I insisted.

I was so used to eating last, it was a habit. Even in the car on the way here, I would wait to make sure Milly had started to eat before I would start on my own meal. 

Milly eyed me carefully, took the bowl, and scooped a heaping pile onto my plate. I blinked down at it, surprised before looking back up at her.

“You get served the same time as the rest of us, Bucky,” she said. “It’s okay.”

Jaylah was already digging into the green beans I had given her and almost didn’t see when Jer tried to serve her some mashed potatoes. The little girl squealed happily before passing the potatoes on to me. Next, Dimitri gave me some deer meat and we all began to eat. 

It was quiet for the most part. Only Kris and Milly talked. They were talking about a greenhouse and about travels, but I tuned it out. I focused on getting the food from my plate to my mouth. As soon as I finished my first serving, Jaylah started putting more food on my plate.

“You need lots and lots, like Jer,” she explained, scooping up another glob of buttery mashed potatoes. “You’re big, like him. Kris says if I eat good, then I’ll be as big as Jer. If you eat good, maybe you’ll get even bigger than him!” She kept prattling on, talking about how she helped to cook. In a fumbled attempt to put a bite of venison in her mouth as she was talking, Jaylah’s fork slipped out of her hand. 

I snatched out and caught it before it could hit the ground, but wasn’t fast enough to save the food. I felt guilt welling up in me at the waste. 

“I’m sorry,” I croaked out. 

Jaylah jumped out of her seat and picked up the bite. “I’ll feed it to the doggy!” she cried happily, sprinting out of the room.

Kris got up from her seat and followed, calling after the excited child. “You need boots!”

I locked eyes with Milly, still feeling bad. “I’m sorry.”

She reached across the table and touched my metal hand. I twitched, nervous about her touching something so deadly. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Honestly, you’ve probably made her night. Jaylah loves any excuse to go outside and play with that nasty wolf she found. You don’t need to be sorry, Bucky.”

Milly gave me a smile before returning to her meal. I picked my own fork back up, noticing Jer glaring at me out of the corner of my eye.


	10. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updating again, trying to be more regular.

After Bucky ate three heaping platefuls of food, the two of us helped clear the table. Kris and Dimitri shooed us out of the kitchen, insisting that we needed to get some sleep. As we trudged upstairs, we found Jer in my room. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, bit harsher than I intended. 

He waved a rag at me. “Cleaning for you.”

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the door frame, Bucky just behind me. 

“How about you go help with the dishes and stay out of my room, Jeremiah.”

He cocked his head, looking slightly confused. I saw some anger hidden as well. Jer threw the rag onto my bed and started to leave. As he stood in the doorway, he hovered over me, standing too close for comfort.

“I find it odd that you’ll let this guy, a stranger, into your room, but not me.”

I bared my teeth. “My room. My rules. Out.”

As soon as I heard his footsteps going down the stairs, I began to tear the room apart, looking for what I knew he had hidden.

Bucky shuffled into the room and I could feel his eyes watching me.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I stood up from searching under the bed and put a finger to my lips. Moving as quietly as I could, I closed the door. On the back of the door was a full length mirror. I snatched up a dry erase marker from the side table and began writing on the glass

_ He’s bugged the room again. Need to find it. _

Bucky nodded, his face suddenly stern. I wiped away the words and went back to searching, Bucky doing the same. Once we had torn everything apart on the ground, we turned our attention to the light on the ceiling. Bucky gestured for me to stand just below the light. He crouched down, wrapped his arm around the back of my legs and lifted. I involuntarily let out a small squeak of surprise before placing my hands on his shoulders to balance myself. 

He tucked his metal arm beneath my feet and used it to boost me higher, changing his grip so that he was hugging the back of my calves. My knees were slightly bent, digging into his collar bones. Slowly, making sure I was balanced, I reached up and started feeling around the light bulb, looking for anything out of place. I kept an eye on Bucky, trying to make sure he was holding up. He looked like he was concentrating hard, but not like it was difficult to hold me. It was a bit startling, really. I knew he was strong, stronger than the others for sure, but he held me like I weighed nothing, like he didn’t even notice I was there.

Internally, I laughed a little. Jer was always so jealous of The Winter Soldier for having the strongest serum. Bucky was nearly the perfect soldier. The rest of us got different variations. In general, we were considered failures. That's why it was easier for us to escape. 

But if Jer saw this, he would freak. Partially from jealousy but also because he’d be scared Bucky would drop me. Jer was oddly overprotective of me and the other girls.

After a minute of fumbling about, I finally found the bug. I pulled it out and waited for Bucky to lower me. It was a slow process; he seemed scared he was going to hurt me. Awkwardly sliding down his body, I finally landed on solid ground. My forehead brushed against his pecs as I began ripping the bug apart and crushing the mic. 

“He does this all the time. He’s so fucking paranoid. Always scared one of us is going to have a mental breakdown and kill everyone or that one of us is plotting to kill the others. Think we should check your room?” I asked him, anger coursing through my veins. 

He nodded.

Instead of tearing his room apart, we checked his light first. Jer, not being the brightest nor the stealthiest, had hidden the bug in the same place.

“I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind,” I growled, making to storm out. 

Bucky grabbed my arm, stopping me. His grip was tight, but not in a way that hurt. 

“He will lie. He’d say it was for safety,” he whispered. “Don’t fight him, but don’t trust him.”

I nodded, understanding exactly where he was coming from.  With a new person in the house, Jer would just claim he was trying to keep me safe from a possible attack. And if I fought him, it would create issues amongst us. 

But there was no way in hell I was going to trust him.

Back in my room, Bucky helped me clean things up and put everything away. Afterwards, I offered to show him how to work the shower, but he shook his head.

“Too tired.” 

I was exhausted too. It was nearly daybreak by the time I told Bucky goodnight. I curled up under my blankets, not bothering to change out of my dirty clothes. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. 

\----

Next door to Milly’s room, I stood at the foot of the bed she told me I was to sleep on. I sat down on the edge and slowly unlaced my boots. Keeping my clothes on incase I needed to make a run for it, I laid back on the bed.

As I sunk into the mattress, I panicked. I felt like I was suffocating as my limbs were ensnared in the cushiony surface. It was so soft, I didn’t even know how to lay on it. After tossing and turning for a bit, I finally got up. I dumped the pillows and blankets on the floor and curled up on the pile, much more comfortable this way. It took some time, but eventually I fell asleep. 

When I woke up, it was to the sounds of whimpers and crying. Scrambling to my feet, I looked around the room. Sun streamed in through the crack in the curtains, but I didn’t see anything dangerous. Tip toeing into the hall, I followed the sounds to Milly’s room. I cracked the door open and peeked in.

She was lying in the center of her bed, her clothes from the day before clinging to her body with sweat. Milly whimpered as she kicked a little, flipping the blanket of the end of the bed. Her hair was slick and wet as she rolled her head back and forth, as though she was searching for something. Tears glittered over top her freckles, slipping from beneath her closed eyelids. 

Padding across the carpeted floor, I touched her shoulder, hoping it would wake her. 

Wake her it did. While screaming at the top of her lungs, she raised her other arm and grabbed my wrist in a steely grasp I didn’t know she could manage. Pulling me off balance, I fell face first over her. Her knees flew up, striking my chest as I came down. With a shove, Milly rolled me off of her. She was quickly on top of me, fist drawn back to hit me.

She blinked a few times, looking down at me. Her round eyes seemed to shimmer in the light. Gasping, Milly scrambled off of me, a shocked expression plain on her face.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to,” Milly muttered. She pressed herself flat against her headboard, as from me as possible. I stayed laying down, trying to catch my breath and calm myself. A part of me was screaming to attack while the other part told me to comfort her. The inner bickering made me freeze and stare unseeing at the ceiling.

That's when the door flew open and Jer barged in. 


	11. Take the Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to be more regular, I swear!   
> Let me know what you think, please. Thanks!

Jer lunged at Bucky, pinning him to the bed by his throat. Teeth flashing, he screamed in Bucky’s face.

“Stay away from her, you son of a bitch!”

“Jeremiah! Stop!” I grabbed at his arm, trying to pull him off of Bucky. Without looking, Jer backhanded me, sending me sprawling onto the floor. I felt my lip split and tasted the tang of blood. Anger welled up in me.

At the sound of the smack, Bucky finally began fighting back. With a roar, he drove his fists into Jer’s chest. The large man went flying backwards, slamming into the wall. Bucky’s face seemed lax and focused, emotion having drained from it. He stalked forward, ready to attack Jer again.

I scrambled up and stood in front of him, pressing my hands into his chest.

“Listen, Bucky. You need to calm down. Please.”

He stopped at my words, his eyes still blank. Slowly, Bucky blinked and life came back to his face. His soft, flesh hand came up and wiped away the blood running down my chin.

“You’re hurt,” he whispered.

Before I could speak, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was yanked backwards and behind someone. It took me a moment to realize it was Jer.

“How did you do that?” he hissed at Bucky.

Bucky looked down at his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“Leave him alone, Jer.”

Jer shoved Bucky, making him stumble back. “You don’t remember attacking me or you don’t remember how you can do it? Huh?”

“Both,” Bucky said, his voice low and his head hanging lower.

Jer laughed cruelly. “I knew it. You’re too dangerous to be here. You’re going to end up killing someone. You might as well pack up and get out, freak.”

I was sick of the fighting. Growling slightly, I drove my foot into the back of Jer’s knee. He dropped like a stone, crying out in surprise. I moved around to his front, grabbed his head, and rammed my elbow squarely into his nose. I felt the bone give way with a crunch. Jer fell back, away from me, and looked up in horror. 

“I told you to stop,” I spit. “If we kicked people out the first time they have a flashback, you would have been out on your ass within the first hour of getting here, asshole. So keep your mouth shut and stay away from him.”

“He attacked you!” Jer complained, his voice nasally. 

“No, I attacked him. He came to wake me up from a nightmare and when I woke up, I wasn’t thinking straight. So mind your own business and fuck off.”

Jer picked himself up off the ground, glaring daggers at both Bucky and I. As soon as he closed the door, Bucky had my face cradled in his hands as he inspected my lip.

“Bucky, it's fine.” 

It took some convincing, but he let me go. I took the neck of my shirt and dabbed at my split lip, trying to staunch the blood flow.

“I’m sorry about all that. Jer is… difficult. We don’t see eye to eye on some things… most things really. The two of us are always fighting,” I explained. “He’s overly protective of us all. Doesn’t think we can protect ourselves.”

Shaking, Bucky sat down at the foot of my bed, staring blankly at his hands. 

“I had a flashback,” he said hoarsely. “You weren’t you. You were Little Steve. He… he was getting hit by someone big. I just snapped. I saw Jer as the guy who hurt Stevie and I got so angry. And then when I saw it was you, I was still angry you were hurt. I still wanted to fight.”

I sat down next to him, being careful not to touch him. I didn’t know if that was what he needed right now. 

“It’s normal to be angry when your friend gets hurt. It’s okay to have those emotions.”

He turned to look at me, obviously surprised. “We’re friends?”

I gave Bucky a smile. “I’d like to think we are.”

Bucky nodded carefully, seemingly content with my answer.

“Will he come back to hurt you?” Bucky asked.

“No, but he might come after you,” I said, a knot forming in my stomach. “You can stay in here, if you want. That way if he comes for you, you’ll have back up. I’ll take the floor and you can have the bed.”

He shook his head. “I don’t like the beds. I’ll take the floor.”


	12. Facing Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heya. Please comment, friends! Things are going to pick up soon.

We woke up mid day. Bucky was snoring softly on the floor beside me. I rolled over and looked down at him, a smile playing at my lips.

He had insisted on sleeping between me and the door, saying that it’d be safer. I didn’t feel like arguing so I had let him. In the noon light filtering in from the window, I admired Bucky.

His jaw was clenched tight, even in his sleep. Bucky’s eyelids were soft and smooth, sleep finally relaxing them. Bucky laid flat on his back, one leg cocked out at an angle. His arms were sprawled out around his head, his metal arm reflecting light onto the ceiling. Grumbling slightly, he rolled onto his side, facing away from me. As he moved, I saw the muscles of his back ripple and shift in a way that made my stomach flip. 

After climbing off the bed as quietly as I could, I padded over to the dresser to find a clean set of clothes. Once I had a complete outfit, I turned to leave, only to be startled and drop all my clothes. 

Bucky was sitting up, wide awake, and looking at me curiously. 

“Jesus, you scared me,” I said, bending down to pick up the dropped clothes. 

“I’m a light sleeper,” he grumbled. 

Looking him over, I started to wonder when he had last showered. I knew it’d been awhile; he didn’t smell great the whole ride to the lodge. To be fair, I probably hadn’t either. I wasn’t one to judge. But I looked at his hair and saw the snarls in it. His scruff looked uneven and there were smudges of black just barely visible around his eyes. 

“Come on,” I instructed. “Time for you to get cleaned up.”

Groaning, he picked himself up off the floor. Stretching his arms up and over his head, Bucky arched his back, causing his shirt to ride up. A strip of pale skin was visible just over the top of his jeans. I noticed small scars and nicks, but for the most part, his skin was smooth. I tore my eyes away, trying not to think about what the rest of him looks like.

I tossed my clothes onto my bed, putting my own shower on hold. I lead him into the bathroom and showed him how to turn the water on.

“Turn it this way, and it gets hotter. This way, and it gets colder. I’ll grab you something to change into, okay?”

He nodded, eyeing the shower carefully. I went to his room and pulled open one of the drawers of the dresser, silently praying that Dimitri had listened to me and gotten some clothes for Bucky. Thankfully, he had. There wasn’t much there and everything was in varying sizes, but it’d be enough for now. I found him some soft jeans, a tshirt, and a pair of boxers. 

“Hope these fit him,” I said to myself while closing the last drawer. 

I went back to the bathroom, opened the door, and then promptly closed it. Bucky had been standing in the middle of the room, completely naked. Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at the situation), his back had been turned 

“Bucky, could you… uh.... wrap up in a towel or something? Open the closet and get one, please.” 

“Sorry, forgot,” he called through the door. I knew what he meant; all of us forgot to have modesty while imprisoned by HYDRA. We still didn’t much care about being naked, but we did try to at least have underwear on around each other. It helped keep things from getting too awkward.

I waited until I heard the closet door open and close before I came back in. With one hand, Bucky held onto the towel precariously wrapped around his narrow hips. I was careful not to stare at him for too long, but I will admit, it was difficult. 

Bucky’s muscles were definitely well defined, but he was still fairly thin. Everything about him was lean and trim. His metal arm almost shimmered in the yellow light of the bathroom. My stomach did a flip when I saw the juncture between his arm and his body. The skin was irritated and red where the metal dove beneath the skin. I could tell it was anchored far across his chest with the way his skin was raised. The edge stopped just before his sternum, making his flesh slope down to meet the rest. 

I tore my eyes away and dropped the clothes on the edge of the sink.

“These should fit you. Soap, shampoo, and conditioner are in the shower. Let me know when you’re done, okay?”

He nodded.

With that, I went back to my room to gather myself. 


	13. She's so Gentle

Once Milly left, I dropped the towel and stepped into the shower. The hot water rolled over my body, beading across the metal of my arm. I started off scrubbing my body down, not being gentle in the slightest. Something nagged at me to go as fast as I could, like the shower was going to end soon. I wondered if this was held over from before HYDRA or if it was caused by HYDRA. Hard to say, really. 

I moved onto my hair, dumping the shampoo into it and digging my nails into my scalp as I scoured away the dirt. I did the same with the conditioner. The water ran brown as it spiraled down the drain. I shut the shower off and stepped out, reveling in the steam that filled the small room. 

The clothes Milly brought me didn’t fit perfect; the pants hung low and the shirt was snug. I didn’t mind. They were clean and that's what mattered. I ruffled my hair with the towel, drying off the excess water. Before I returned to Milly’s room, I stopped to grab my boots and put them on with a fresh pair of socks i found in the dresser.

Can never be too prepared. 

In her room, Milly was sitting on the floor, doodling on the wall with a marker. I sat down next to her and watched as she filled the shape in. 

“What are you making?” I asked.

She moved her hand away, letting me see the full picture. 

“It’s a squirrel. It’s not done yet though, see? I haven’t done the tail.” Milly looked over at me, her eyes wandering over my face and hair. “We’re going to have to get you straightened up. If anyone is out there looking for you, you’d be easy to spot.”

I touched my messy hair, relieved at the idea of cutting it off. “That’d be nice.”

She smiled and patted my shoulder before getting up. “Once I finish with my shower, I’ll help you. Just relax for a bit.”

It didn’t take her long. When she returned, her face was smooth and soft looking. All of her hair was wrapped up in the towel, which was twisted on top of her head.  The leggings she wore were a dark purple color and hugged the shape of her legs in a way that made my heart race. Milly’s sweatshirt was oversized and hung off one of her shoulders, but she seemed to be happy and comfortable in it. She unraveled her hair and began brushing it while chattering about what we could do with my hair.

“I can try to go to your style from before the war, but I can’t make any promises. Or we could just cut it short all over. Oh, by the way, never let Dimitri cut your hair. His idea of a good haircut is shaving it all off. That’s why Kris and I cut everyone’s hair.”

Milly continued talking as she led me to the dining room, a small bag clutched in her hand. She placed a stool out in an empty space, away from the table. Next, she took the towel that I still had gripped tightly in my hands and she wrapped it around my shoulders. Milly tried to pull the brush through my hair, but it became snared on the tangled strands. 

“Just cut everything off,” I said. “I’m sick of it anyways.”

She came around to stand in front of me, a worried look on her face. “Are you sure? I could just cut it to chin length…”

I shook my head, making the damp hair swing into my face.

“I want it gone. Do whatever you think is best.”

As she moved back to stand behind me, I closed my eyes. In that moment, I realized that I trusted her. I knew nothing about Milly, but I trusted her. She had found me and gave me a place to stay. She had tried to protect me and she stood up for me. Milly trusted me enough to let me into her room; the only place that was  _ hers.  _ And when she touched me, it didn’t make me want to run, it made me relax. I only got nervous when she touched my metal arm, and that's because I know it's not natural. It's done horrible things and it had hurt people. Milly was kind. I couldn’t picture her as a weapon, like me. Her touching something so  _ disgusting _ and  _ cruel _ seemed wrong. 

My mind quieted as I felt her hand gently touch my head, her nails gently scratching across my scalp. A shiver ran down my spine. 


	14. A Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I re-worked the chapters, so now there will be less of them (still over 30), but they will be longer than I originally planned. Hope you enjoy! Leave me a comment please!

His hair was soft, even if it was a tangled mess. I tried to gently comb through it with my fingers, judging how deep the knots went. I decided I just had to start cutting to see what the damage was. 

I opened up my bag and found the shears I needed. I started down at the tips of Bucky’s hair, barely cutting anything. Having something sharp near you can be scary and I didn’t want to startle Bucky. I knew it had to be hard for him to sit still with a stranger holding scissors behind him. 

When he didn’t react, I started cutting more off, removing snarls of hair. But Bucky stayed still. He didn’t even flinch when the cool metal of the scissors accidentally brushed across the back of his neck. 

Once I had gotten rid of the worst of the damage, I inspected his hair to see what I could do. If I styled his hair like the Old Bucky, whose picture I saw at the museum, he could possibly be recognized. On the other hand, it might help him to regain some memories. I weighed it in my mind and decided against it, knowing that safety was more important. 

I rummaged in my bag again and found the the electric clipper and its different combs. 

“Bucky,” I gently touched his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder, blinking a stray hair from his eyes. “I’m going to use this to trim your hair shorter. Is that okay?”

I turned it on so he could hear the nose. He jumped a little, eyeing it warily. After a moment, Bucky nodded and straightened his head again.

It hit me like a sucker punch, knocking the air out of me. 

_ Bucky truly trusts me.  _

Trusts me enough to hold a whirring, sharp edged device right up next to his head, while his eyes are closed.

Swallowing thickly, I attached a comb to the clipper and started to work on him again. I switched back and forth between the shears, the clipper, and multiple comb attachments. Finally, I was able to wipe the little prickly hairs off of the back of Bucky's neck, reveling in the touch of his warm skin. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs and look in the bathroom mirror while I clean this up, okay?”

He got up and nodded at me in thanks before trudging up the stairs. I was personally pleased with my work. I had cut the sides and back of his hair fairly short, but left the top and front a little longer. It didn’t hang in his eyes, but it was long enough that he could ruffle it and style it, if he ever wanted to. It was like night and day from when he first got here. He looked younger and healthier with the short, well kept hair. 

I got out a broom and worked on cleaning up the piles of hair that had gathered at my feet. As I swept a bit into the dustpan, I heard thunderous steps coming down the stairs. I stood up straight, broom gripped tightly in my hand in case of an oncoming attack. What came instead was Bucky, bursting back into the room. He was across the floor in three steps and had me wrapped in his arms. Bucky buried his face in the crook of my neck and held me close; so close I could hear his heart racing. When he pulled back, one corner of his mouth was crooked up slightly, his hands still on my shoulders.

That was the closest I had received to a smile yet. 

“I remembered something. I remembered!” he told me excitedly. “ It’s not… not much. But it's a little bit of me as a kid. My mom and sister called me Jamie. Steve is the one who called me Bucky. The nickname stuck. But I’ve remembered meeting him. And going to school and Coney Island. I had this haircut as a kid, you see. When I looked in the mirror, I was transported back. Does that make sense?”

I smiled, excitement coursing through me. “That makes complete sense! I’ve had that happen to me before. This is great, Bucky.”

It was then that he noticed he was still holding onto me. Coughing lightly, he let go and took a step backwards.

“Thank you, Milly,” he said, his voice heavy with gratitude. 

\----

“Let me finish cleaning up and then I have a gift for you,” Milly said, her big smile still plastered across her face.

I cocked my head to the side, curious on what she meant by a gift. She’d done so much for me already, I didn’t want to take more from her.

Milly continued sweeping the mess of brown locks into the dustpan, bending and moving in a way that was graceful and gentle. As she bent down to snag a stray hair, her shirt slid up her back slightly, revealing the curve of her spine. It arched and pressed against her skin, creating ridges and valleys over the vertebrae. 

Two quick flashes of memory sprung into my mind. 

One was of Steve, the little one, curved over a bucket, coughing and throwing up. He was so skinny, I could see all of his ribs and spine quiver with the stress they were under. Sweat ran in rivers as he fought the fever. 

The other was of a girl. She had her long pencil skirt on as she clipped her thin white bra closed. She bent over, her back curving in a sensual way, as she picked up her shirt from the floor. 

I took a step back, reeling from the memories. The emotions I felt from the two scenes were so different. With Steve, I felt fear and worry and wanted to help him. But with the girl, I felt relief and sated.  

Similar movements, but such different contexts. 

Once I had collected myself, I helped Milly by putting the stool away for her. She gave me another smile, this one warm and appreciative. Then, she gestured for me to follow her upstairs. In her room, she crouched on the floor and pulled a box from under her bed. She flipped it open, revealing multiple stacks of small books. Some had hard covers while others were bound in leather or paper. She dug through the box for a moment before pulling one of the books out. Milly handed it to me. 

I flipped it open, letting the pages flick from one side to the other at top speeds. The lined pages were all blank. None of them bore a single word. Confused, I looked at her for an explanation. 

“Its a journal,” Milly told me, picking up one of the other books and opening it for me to see. The pages were covered in messy, cramped writing with small doodles at the edges of the page. “I write down everything I remember. I also write down what’s going on in my life in the present, just incase I ever lose my memory again. Then I have something to work off of. I think it’d help you to write down your memories.”

I closed the book and gripped the leather book tightly. 

“Thank you,” I whispered, allowing my thumb to sweep across the spine of  _ my  _ journal. 

It was mine. Mine. I couldn’t remember the last time I owned something. The room Milly gave me wasn’t really mine, it belonged to them. The clothes weren’t mine and this family wasn’t mine. But I had a journal. That meant the world to me. 

Milly handed me a pen and told me to write down what I remembered before I forgot anything.

I dropped down and sat beside her, leaning back against her bed and began to write while she did the same in her own journal. 

I’m not sure how much time passed, but it felt like hours. We were startled into attention when a knocked at the door sounded. The young looking one, Dimitri, stood there, smiling kindly at us.

Milly smiled back and waved him in. Dimitri looked a little startled at being allowed to enter the room, but quietly came in.

“I like your haircut, Bucky. Good thing Milly did it and I didn’t.”

“Yeah, she told me you’d have buzzed it all off,” I snarked, though without anger.

He gave an incredulous laugh. “Damn straight. That’s what I did to Milly when I found her.”


	15. The Hidden Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are picking up! Let me know what you think in the comments!

Bucky gave Dimitri a confused look for a moment.

“I haven’t told him that story yet,” I explained to Dimitri. “You can tell it though, I’m just finishing up in my journal.”

Dimitri nodded, leaned back, propping himself up with his arms and made himself comfortable.

“So, I was nabbed before the US got involved with World War II. I was a scrawny orphan working in a factory and hoping to have enough money to buy some bread. On my way home one day, I got jumped and was dragged off by HYDRA. They already had Kris and had figured out how to slow aging and increase strength, but their success rate was low and the results were inconsistent. So, while Kris and I both have baby faces, I’m faster, stronger, and my temperature runs high. Still not the perfect soldier, obviously. I’m a bit small.

“As the war got more heated, a bomb hit the facility we were in. Our cells were busted open and everyone else was dead, so we ran. Kris and I agreed to split up, since the two of us made such an odd pair. 

“Years and years later, I stumbled across a HYDRA agent. I was able to wrestle his cyanide pill away from him before he killed himself. When he saw how strong I was, he realized I was an escaped experiment. He asked me if I knew the little freckled one that also got away. That’s how I knew Milly was out there; Kris doesn’t have freckles. I wanna say it was the early 1970’s when I found her. She looked around 20 or 21 back then. She was hiding out on a communion with a bunch of hippie freaks. Her hair was a mess of dreads and she stunk like shit. I traveled with her and we became friends. Once I was sure she was starting to get some memory back, I revealed who I actually was. She was pretty angry at first, even kicked my ass for lying. Once she decided to trust me again, Milly and I knew we needed to find somewhere away from people so that we could really heal. We started up towards Canada. She got recognized at one point, so I told her we needed to change her look. The dreads were too tight and messy to save, so I just shaved everything off and got her a hat to wear.

At one point, we stumbled across a dead hiker in the woods. The girl had frozen to death. We traded the girl’s and Milly clothes and left the body where it’d be found, that way HYDRA would think she was dead. A couple weeks later, we found the lodge and we fixed it up together. Kris eventually found us and brought Jaylah along. We kept tabs on HYDRA as best we could, which is how we found Jeremiah, the baby of the group. He told us about you. Milly decided to go keep an eye on you and help you once you escaped.”

“How’d you know I was going to escape?” Bucky asked.

I cut in. “Because you can break the programming, just like the rest of us. You were taken, you didn’t volunteer. Prisoners always have a shot at breaking the programming.”

“She had faith in you,” Dimitri added. 

My cheeks started to burn with embarrassment. Of course Dimitri had to phrase it like that. It didn’t help that Bucky was looking at me with wonder in his eyes. 

He looked so damn cute.

I could see Dimitri smirking at me. He knew exactly what he was doing, I was sure of it. 

_ “Damn him” _ I thought, sending a glare his way.

Before anyone else could speak, Bucky’s stomach growled loudly. 

Dimitri got up, brushing off his jeans. “Come on, Bucky, I’ll get you something to eat.”

He shook his head earnestly. “I can do it. I’ll bring something for everyone. You can sit.”

As soon as Bucky was out of earshot, I aimed a kicked at Dimitri, which only made him laugh giddily.

“What are you playing at?” I demanded.

He continued to laugh. “I can tell you have a crush on him; you’ve been talking about the guy for years. And I mean, come on, when was the last time you got laid?”

“Shut up,” I folded my arms defensively. “He’s been through a lot. He doesn’t need to deal with that stuff.”

Dimitri shrugged. “Give the guy a chance. You never know.”

I kicked at him again, this time hitting him square in the chest and sending him sprawling.

He laughed gleefully.

\----

I was heading towards the kitchen when I heard an odd sound. 

Next to the kitchen was a room that I hadn’t explored. The door was shut, but noises were coming from within. I could make out muffled voices, but another sound didn’t seem right. Creeping up to the door, I pressed my ear against it, hoping to hear something.

“ _ If you tell anyone, I will kill you. Do you understand? _ ” The crack of skin on skin rang out along with a muffled, choked cry. 

Without thinking, I took a step back and kicked the door in. 

Laid out on a desk was Kris, tears streaming down her face. They passed over the red welts on her cheek. Looming over her was Jer, one hand gripping her throat, the other raised to slap her again. I lunged forward, catching his arm before he could strike again. With a grunt, I tossed him across the room and sent him head first towards the opposite wall.

I scooped Kris off of the table and set her down in the hall.

“Get the others and get out of here,” I commanded, my soldier voice coming out. “I’ll hold him off.”

She scrambled to her feet and sprinted up the stairs, hollering for Jaylah.

I turned back and saw Jer picking himself up off the ground. Papers that had once been tacked to the wall had been dislodged and now littered the floor. I took a moment to look around the room and figure out what this weird room was. 

A map was pinned up on one wall with dots of different colors marking different locations. Another wall was covered in pictures of men and women, some of which were HYDRA agents, some who were experiments. Many of the pictures had large X’s drawn across them. 

The wall that Jer was currently leaning on was opposite the desk. He was peeling photos off of his body and throwing them to the ground. That’s when I realized they were pictures of the HYDRA agents and experiments on the other wall, though in these photos, they were dead. Their bodies were mutilated and tortured, leaving them in sickening positions with horrified faces, forever frozen and unseeing.  

“You had to escape, didn’t you?” Jer spat. “If you had just stayed with HYDRA, everything would be fine.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, stalking back into the room, keeping my distance from the crazed man.

“I could have destroyed HYDRA. That’s what I’ve been working on! Then Milly would have come home and our family would be whole again. Instead, Captain Perfect had to go and find out about you and start a war with SHIELD to get you back. Now you’re here, making puppy eyes at Milly!”

As if summoned, Milly appeared in the doorway, looking flustered. 

“What the hell is this?” she asked, coming into the room. “I thought this door had been sealed shut.”

My anxiety only got worse. If Jer attacked, she could get hurt.

“Milly, go with the others. Get out of here,” I insisted.

Jer slammed his fist against the wall in anger. Both Milly and I dropped into fighting stances, ready to defend ourselves. She crept towards me, stopping at my side, never taking her eyes off of Jer.

“Stop telling her what to do, Barnes,” Jer hissed. “She isn’t yours. She’s mine.”

Milly scoffed. “What, I’m a trophy now?”

Jer glared at her. “This team, this family, is all mine. I am the strongest, don’t you get it? This is a wolf pack and I am the Alpha!” 

For a moment, I thought he was going to cry. His voice was getting quiet, all while breaking and cracking. When his eyes looked up from the ground, I didn’t see tears, I only saw anger.

“You’ve never loved me back. All you cared about was babying Dimitri. And then, you hear about the Winter Soldier, and all you care about is saving him. What do I have to do, Milly? What do I need to do to get you notice me? Look!” He scooped up some papers from around his feet and thrust them out in front of him for Milly to see. “I’ve been hunting them, HYDRA agents! I did it all for you, so you can be safe.”

Her hazel eyes grew wide as she looked at the pictures.

“Jeremiah, there is no way that little kid was a HYDRA agent.”

He turned the pictures around and looked at the one she was referring to.

“Ah, no. She wasn’t. She was a mess, though. An experiment, like us, but gone wrong. Believed she could see the future. She was in pain, so I put her out of her misery.”

Milly gave a dry sob, looking at her once friend in horror. “You killed a child.”

“She was a freak! And she wouldn’t have fit in here. We don’t need others, Milly. We just need to stay together, as a family. We can get rid of Barnes here and everything can be good again, I promise.” 

I knew in that moment that the man was deranged; long past the point of reason.

Dimitri came into the room like a storm; loud and angry. 

“You choked Kris! You hit her! You fucking bastard! I will kill you!” He swung and punched Jer, sending the larger man stumbling. “You told us you were hunting! That you were going out to work jobs for some money! You lied to us!”

“I did it to protect us!”

Dimitri laughed. “No, you did it because you want to fuck Milly and she has no interest in a whiny bitch like you! Come on! You look like you could be her dad, asshole!”

With a howl, Jeremiah leapt at Dimitri. His knife cut through the air and bit deeply into Dimitri’s chest. 

Milly’s scream was shrill and heartbreakingly sad. She cried Dimtiri’s name and tried to run to him, but before she could take more than a step, I put my arm out catching her. I dragged her up against my body. She fought against me, trying to reach her best friend. 

Jer pulled the knife out and stabbed again and again, his anger and jealousy sending him into a crazed rage.

“Let me go!” Milly begged.

“We need to go. We have to go!” I pulled her from the room. I kicked the door shut behind me and pushed the nearby hutch in front of it. Trying to  be careful with her, I lead Milly out to the front hall. I saw our coats hanging by the door. Holding onto her with my metal arm so she wouldn’t go running back, I grabbed the coats with my other hand and took her outside. 

Kris was waiting by the four wheelers. She held a pair of shoes for Milly along with a bag. Jaylah sat on one of the four wheelers, her eyes large as she clutched at a gun. 

“Where’s Dimitri?” she asked, panic evident in her voice. 

I shook my head. Kris covered her mouth with one hand, silencing her sob. She took a shaky breath before turning to Milly, survival mode kicking in. 

“Shoes on and then jacket. Get on the ATV. It’s time to go.” 

Still crying, Milly did as she was told. I put my jacket on and then helped Milly into her’s.

“Your journals are in the bag. Get out of Canada,” Kris instructed. “I’m taking Jaylah off this entire continent. Good luck, both of you.” Kris gave us one last smile before climbing onto the ATV behind Jaylah. She put their helmets on and drove away. 

I climbed onto the other, starting it up. “Let’s go.”

Milly put her helmet on while I strapped mine. As she wrapped her arms around me, slipping them into my coat, the door of the lodge burst open. Gunfire rang out as Jer advanced on us, screaming and cursing us. 

I revved the engine, taking off into the woods. Milly clung to me in a desperate way, grabbing at my shirt with her small hands and pressing her head into my back. 

I drove on, ignoring the gunshots behind me. 


	16. It Wasn't That She Didn't Like It...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter! Eeeh!

I might have been balling my eyes out, but I was still aware of my surroundings. I knew I still had a duty. Just like before, I would tap Bucky’s side when he needed to turn, helping him navigate the dense forest. It took hours, in which I felt like I was going to freeze, before we hit the small tourist town. We slowed to a crawl as we traveled down the mainstrip. Once Bucky found a side alley, he parked, keeping us out of sight behind a dumpster.

He let me cling to his back for a few moments longer before peeling me off of him. Bucky stood beside the four wheeler and removed his helmet. Gently, he slid mine off as well, revealing my tear stained face. 

Shaking, I pulled myself off the seat. As I placed my boots down on the snowy ground, my legs gave out. Bucky caught me, pulling me closer to him. 

“We need to get a car and get out of here, okay? Where is the closest airport?” he asked, trying to snap me out of my daze. “Hey, you with me?”

“Airport… 20 miles. But crowded…”

“Don’t worry about being seen; we have more important things to worry about. We just need to get out of here. Come on, we’re finding a car.”

He half carried, half dragged me out onto the street, his eyes constantly scanning for threats. We spotted a hotel up the street and made a beeline for it. Bucky leaned us against the side of the building, waiting for the right moment to nab a car. 

A wealthy family pulled in fifteen minutes later. The parents, obviously irritated, got out of the car and slammed their doors. They yanked their screaming children out of the backseat and marched them towards the door.

“That’s it, we are leaving tomorrow morning,” the father said, his accent reminding me of Kris. “I’ll call the rental company tonight and let them know we’re returning the car early.”

When we were sure they weren’t coming back out, we ran over to the SUV and tried the door handles. 

In their haste, the idiots hadn’t even locked the car. Bucky had me get in the passenger seat while he went around to the front and hotwired the car. Its didn’t take long, we had had plenty of practice on our cross country trip.

He hopped in the car and cranked the heat up for me before peeling out of the parking lot. Bucky did battle with the built in GPS for a moment before he was finally able to find a path to the nearest airport. 

“Get in the back and see what type of stuff they left,” Bucky instructed, not taking his eyes off the road. “We need something to wear that we can blend in with.”

I unbuckled and climbed between the front seats, brushing against Bucky’s arm. In the  backseat, I wrestled the booster seats out of my way so I could look into the very back of the car.

“There’s some shopping bags and one suitcase. I’m going to look through them, hold on.”

“Why would they leave a suitcase in the car?” he asked, sounding perplexed.

I shrugged, and then realized he couldn’t see me. “I’m not sure,” I said. “That lady looked high maintenance, maybe she brought too many bags and didn’t have enough room in the hotel for everything.”

Hoisting myself over the bench seat, I toppled on top of the shopping bags. Something poked me in the back, causing me to grit my teeth. I rolled off of the bags and started digging, looking for the culprit. I found a hard plastic toy, still in its packaging. The plastic already had teeth marks, as did the cardboard it was strapped to. Wrinkling my nose, I tossed it to the side. 

I didn’t find anything of use in the shopping bags. Just toys and knick-knacks. When I opened the suitcase, I knew I had hit the jackpot. 

Inside was two outfits for everyone in that dysfunctional family. One of the man’s shirts in the bag had been wadded up and was covered in dried food. It appeared that one of the toddlers had splattered him with something, causing him to have to change. That would explain him wanting to go home. 

“They kept this in the car because they had to change clothes sometimes. Kids were brats.”

I heard Bucky snort from the front seat. 

I pulled out the woman’s clothes, hoping that they would fit. The pants definitely weren’t going to; they were far too long. There was a pale blue dress tucked into the corner that looked like it would fit. A tad long and not very pretty, but it would do. I salvaged an outfit for Bucky out of the remaining men’s clothes and prayed they’d fit. 

I started to shuck off my jacket, startling Bucky.

“What are you doing?” he called back to me. 

“Changing. Just keep your eyes on the road!”

It was difficult to change in the back of the moving car. If I sat up too high, people in other cars would be able to see me. If I crouched too low, it was near impossible to take my clothes off. Eventually, I was able to shimmy into the dress.

I had been right, it was long. It hung just past my knees and was a little baggy in the chest. I pulled my jacket back on, hiding one of the problems. 

I dug through some of the outer pockets of the suitcase, looking for anything that could help us. That’s when I found the open-ended tickets, passports, and a wad of cash labeled  _ emergency fund _ . I gave a whoop of joy, startling Bucky. He swerved slightly before regaining control of the car.

“What the hell was that?” he snapped. 

Stuffing my feet back into my boots, I scrambled back up into the front seat.

“Look, tickets to England. And passports!” 

Bucky glance over at the passport I was flaunting. “Can we make them work?”

I flipped open the man’s passport and began to read.

“His name is Edward Browning. Looks like he’s about 6’ 2”, has brown hair, and blue eyes. Is 34 years old.” I looked over at Bucky and examined him. “You could pass as early thirties. They’ll think you’re a baby face, though.”

He huffed. “I don’t even know how old I am.”

“Technically, you’re in your 90’s, but you look like you’re in your 20’s. The serum and cryo have kept you young.”

I flipped open the woman’s and found that her description was close enough to me to pass.

“Alright, we just need to get some pictures of us on these suckers and we’re good to go. By the way, I have some clothes in the back for you. I hope they fit.”

He shrugged. “I’ll make it work.”

We pulled up to a mall that we knew had a photography studio inside, Bucky climbed into the back while I kept watch. He sat up a little high at one point, catching my eye in the rearview mirror. His pale shoulders flashed in the sunlight while his metal shoulder glimmered. 

I quickly looked away.

Once he was dressed, he climbed into the back seat and went out the door. I got out of the front seat, pulling my jacket tighter around my body. He yanked on a glove he found in the pocket of his jacket so as to cover his metal hand.

“I hope this works,” he grumbled.

“Me too.”

\----

“Are you sure you don’t want to get a picture together? You know, like a cute couple’s photo?” the young man asked.

Bucky shook his head sternly.

“We just need professional, straight on, headshots please. It’s for a work ID,” I said, cutting in before Bucky could say something rude.  

“Well, we have a package deal right now where it’s buy three 4x5’s and you get-”

Bucky cut him off. “Fine, we’ll do a couple’s pho0to as well.”

When the photographers back was turned, I pinched Bucky’s arm and looked at him with confusion.

“It takes suspicion off of us,” he hissed. “Just go with it.”

Once I had finished with my photo and Bucky had finished glaring at the camera, the photographer bustled us in front of a new backdrop.

“Okay, sir, you just sit here. And miss, you sit here on his lap. Yes, on his lap. Arms around each other. Okay, fantastic!”

Bucky squirmed in the plush armchair he was pushed into. I tried to keep pressure off of his legs as I awkwardly hovered over his knee. He wrapped one arm around me, his hand just barely touching my side. I placed my arm across his shoulders, letting it float just about the collar of his shirt. The young man behind the camera told us to smile and started to snap pictures.

“Guys, come on! Act like you love each other!” the man jokingly pleaded. 

I knew what Dimitri would have said.

“ _ You have to play the part, Milly. You have to make yourself believe it before anyone else will buy it _ ”

Sighing, I knew what I had to do.

I scooted higher onto Bucky’s thighs and pressed myself close, allowing my feet to lift off the ground and dangle in the air. My arm wrapped tighter and brought his face closer to mine, throwing him off balance. Surprised, Bucky grabbed ahold of my hip tightly, so tight I was sure there would be a bruise later. Without thinking, I touched his cheek with my other hand and guided his lips to mine. 

It wasn’t my first kiss, not by a long shot. You live on the streets long enough, you learn to do things to survive. And even when Dimitri and I were fairly stable, we’d end up going home with people for one night stands; we would do anything to have a roof over our head and bed to sleep in for the night.

But kissing Bucky didn’t feel like those other times. After the initial shock, he got with the program and leaned into the kiss. He wasn’t pushy or insistent. He was gentle, almost shy. His lips were warm and a little chapped, but they were sweet. I felt a warmth sweep through me as Bucky pulled me ever so slightly closer.

“Perfect!” came the excited voice of the photographer, bring us back to reality. I pulled away from Bucky, embarrassed. I ducked my head, trying to hide the smile threatening to curve the corners of my mouth. 

I jumped up off of Bucky, smoothing out the wrinkled, oversized dress I was wearing. Bucky cleared his throat and stood up as well.

“I’ll just go download these and we can look over them together!” the photographer said excitedly. He scampered off to the front room where he stored the computer. 

\----

Milly shifted up my legs and pulled me closer to her. Startled, I grabbed ahold of her, partially in surprise, partially because I was trying to make sure she didn’t accidentally tip backwards and onto the ground. Her cold little hand touched my rough cheek, turning my face towards hers. I would have thought that anyone touching my face would make me scared or flinch away, but at her touch, I relaxed, desperate for more. 

And more is what I got. 

Her lips pressed into mine. They were strong, yet they didn’t demand more. It was just a quiet, chaste kiss. Gently, my eyelids fluttered shut and I felt my lips moving against hers on their own accord.

I couldn’t remember kissing anyone before. I’m sure I had. I mean, I remembered a half naked girl getting out of what I assumed was my bed. My body seemed to know what it was doing. I felt my arm tighten and pull her closer as I tilted my head up into the kiss. 

That's when the stupid kid behind the camera yelled, startling Milly. She pulled away, her lips slightly swollen and her pupils large. I saw a blush start to creep up her neck to her cheeks as she lowered her head, looking away from me. 

I didn’t care if I couldn’t see her eyes anymore. I still studied her. The way her hair fell over her shoulder, the way her ears turned pink when she was embarrassed, the way her hip felt beneath my hand; it was a lot to take in. 

Before I could say anything, Milly slid off of my lap and adjusted her dress. I stood beside her, flanking her shoulder and eyeing the man behind the camera to make sure he wasn’t getting any ideas about her. 

Once he had left the room, Milly cleared her throat. Still nervously fidgeting with her skirt, she spoke.

“Sorry about that. Had to play the part, you know? That’s what I was always taught. HYDRA said I had to know how to blend in to be a spy and Dimitri said I had to blend in to survive. I… I’m sure that made you uncomfortable and I’m really sorry.”

I felt my stomach drop.  _ She didn’t like the kiss. She doesn’t like you, _ a voice whispered in my mind.

“I know,” I cut in. “It’s fine.”

She continued to babble anxiously. “It’s just… that was the first kiss that I’ve had that didn’t make me feel dirty or gross and I’m just really embarrassed and nervous and oh god, I should just shut up. I’m sorry.”

The knot I felt in my gut seemed to release. I felt like I could almost laugh. Almost. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the kiss. The problem was that she  _ did. _

I made a mental note to remember that.


	17. Just Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think in the comments!

The photos turned out well. The ones for our passports were perfect. The ones of Bucky and I together were, needless to say, embarrassing. Yet, when I looked at them, I still felt butterflies in my stomach.

The way his jaw flexed and stretched as he pressed his lips up into mine was tantalizing. When the photographer showed us the photo of me with my head bowed, my breath caught in my throat. 

He’d turned the photo black and white and had played with the depths of the colors, making everything crisp and clear, like Bucky and I were about to jump off the screen. The camera had been zoomed in close on our faces. My hair had fallen over my shoulder that was furthest from the camera, giving everyone a clear view of my face. I was obviously flushed and corners of my lips were ever so slightly crooked up. Bucky’s eyes stared at me not in anger or confusion, but with care. Though you couldn’t see their striking blue color, they were still beautiful and steely. The intensity of his gaze only made my cheeks heat up all over again. 

“So I’ll print wallet sizes of everything. And I can do a couple 4x5’s for you. Want me to print a 9x8 of this one?” the photographer asked, gesturing to the last picture.

Before I could say anything, Bucky agreed and handed over some cash. Thankfully, the photographer cut us a deal because we were “just so gosh darn cute.”

We stole some supplies from a craft store at the mall and began doctoring the passports. Bucky turned out to be pretty good at it and finished both in record time. I got the car started and we were on our way to the airport. 

Bucky lugged the small suitcase behind him, to keep up the appearance of a tourist,  while I carried my backpack. The airport was crowded and bustling as we weaved our way through the masses. More than once Bucky and I got separated in the crowds. At one point, he stopped and closed his eyes, his forehead wrinkled in concentration. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked, gently touching his arm.

“Memory,” he choked out. “Steve and I at a fair. It was crowded like this.”

Without warning, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. 

“I don’t want to lose you. Stay close,” he insisted, his voice sounding different. It was calmer and softer, nothing like his normal gruff voice. “Your Ma would kill me if I lost you here.”

That confirmed my theory; he was stuck in a memory again. I knew it was best to just go along with it, but I needed to get Bucky to our gate before the flight for England left.

I racked my brain for the right thing to say, but was coming up blank. 

“Um, ya Bucky. But let’s go this way,” I pulled him in the direction we needed to go and breathed a sigh of relief when he followed. He stayed close to my side, hiding out hands from everyone’s view.

It was understandable. If he thought I was Steve, he could have been ridiculed for holding hands with a man. 

I looked down at the paper we received from the front desk, double checking our gate number, when suddenly, Bucky wrenched me backwards causing me to stumble into his chest. A little golf cart, the ones that security rides, zipped past us, honking angrily. 

“Eh! Watch it, asshole! You coulda hit us!” Bucky shook his fist at the guy. In his anger, Bucky’s Brooklyn accent slipped out slightly. “I can’t believe he’s driving through ‘ere! He’s gonna kill someone.”

Bucky turned his blue eyes on me. They were wide and trusting, so open and loving. I felt a pang in my chest when I remembered that he wasn’t really looking at me, he was looking at the ghost of who Steve used to be. 

“I’m alright, Bucky. Let’s just keep moving.”

He kept his hold on my hand as we moved through the crowd. Once we were finally at our gate, we were able to relax in the waiting area. I dropped into the uncomfortable straight backed chair and winced slightly. Bucky rubbed his calloused thumb across the knuckles of my hand.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly. 

Trying to stay in character, I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine. You don’t have to mother me all the time. You know Ma won’t care if I have a few bruises.”

“Milly, I know it's you. You don’t have to pretend to be Steve anymore.”

I jolted in surprise. I glanced down at our still linked hands before looking him in the eye.

“When did you come back to our time?” I asked.

“About five minutes after you almost got hit.”

I cocked my head, confused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged and looked away. I didn’t push the issue. Neither of us pulled our hands away though. When our flight was called, we handed our tickets over and found our seats. I piled in close to the window, letting Bucky have the aisle seat so he could stretch his legs out. He put our bags in the overhead units and took his seat beside me.

His eyes shifted back and forth, scanning over everyone. 

“I don’t like it in here. It’s too small.”

I nodded in agreement. “Feels like I’m back in the cryo tube.”

“We’ll get through this,” he assured, but I couldn’t tell if it was for my benefit or his. 

As the plane trundled down the runway, he took my hand again and squeezed it tightly. 

\----

The flight went without a hitch. By the time we landed, I figured that the family we had carjacked was just waking up. Once we were allowed out of our seats, Bucky and I hurried off the plane, knowing we didn’t have much time before the passports were reported stolen.

As we made our way towards customs, I pulled Bucky’s head down to my level. To anyone else, it would look like I was kissing his cheek, when really, I was whispering in his ear.

“English, remember. Do the accent.”  

We each waited our turn and thankfully, it went smoothly. The man behind the counter barely looked at the passport before waving me through. 

Outside the airport, Bucky and I dumped the passports in a garbage can and abandoned the suitcase behind a bench. Keeping close together, we made our way to the bus stop. 

It was time to find a way out of England without being traced. 

“We need to get new clothes,” Bucky said, gently guiding me with a hand to the small of my back onto the crowded bus. 

“I know. We’ll figure it out.”

Once we got to the nearest city, we wandered around until we found some stores that looked like an easy target. We’d take turns distracting the staff while the other grabbed some clothes. Once we both had a full outfit, we looked for the first bus to the coast. 

“What’s the plan from here?” I asked, fiddling with my bus ticket. 

“Find a ship that needs help. Offer to work for our travel,” Bucky put his ticket in his pocket and offered his hand out to take mine. “Get to Europe and head inland. Then we need to lay low.”

“We could go to Sokovia. It's a crowded place. It’d be easy to blend in. 

Bucky shook his head, pocketing my ticket alongside his own.  “HYDRA has bases there. I’m not sure where. I don’t remember enough to know.”

I nodded, seeing his logic. “We need to stay away from HYDRA. If they find us, they’ll kill us. And Jer is tracking them. Being near HYDRA would just bring him after us.”

“How’s your Romanian?” he asked. 

I smiled. “A bit rusty, but good enough.”

“Then that’s where we’re going.”

It took some time before our bus was called. When we took our seats, Bucky ushered me in first and took the aisle seat, glaring at anyone who came near us. When he wasn’t looking, I gave him a once over, admiring his clothes.

It had been a long time since the man had been able to choose his own clothes. Hell, it had probably been before World War II. Yet, he had done well in choosing something that looked nice, but didn’t stand out.  

Bucky had chosen a plain white t-shirt that stretched across the curves of his chest snuggly. He’d paired it with a thin, maroon hoodie, only partially zipped up. He had pulled on the heavy jacket we had brought from Canada. I had kept mine as well; you never know when you may need something like that. Bucky’s legs were clad with a pair of loose black jeans, though his thighs were so large and muscular that the thick denim material clung in a sinfully delicious way. He’d picked up a ball cap as well and wore it low, shading his eyes. 

Every once in awhile, when someone passed by a little too close, Bucky’s jaw would clench and he’d lean ever so slightly closer to me, almost as if he was shielding me from the stranger. 

I placed my hand on his shoulder and guided him to sit back in his seat.

“You need to rest,” I murmured. “You haven’t slept since we left the lodge.”

“Neither have you.”

I shrugged. “I’ll be fine. I can take first watch. Just sleep.”

Bucky grumbled for a few minutes before leaning back and letting his eyes close. The sway of the bus and the rumble of the passing cars lulled him to sleep.

It wasn’t until about an hour into the trip that Bucky’s body fully relaxed. HYDRA had trained all of us to sleep with our body’s ready to fight. We could snap awake and within in seconds, defend ourselves. We had to feel completely safe for us to actually relax. When we did, we always slept well.

His body slouched lower in the seat, his snores quiet and breathy. Bucky’s head drooped over and rested on my shoulder. I froze, not wanting to startle him awake. His breath ghosted across the skin of my neck as he nuzzled closer, the top of his head brushing against my jaw. I bit my lip, enjoying the feeling of his closeness more than I should have. Guilt welled up from deep inside me as thoughts of Bucky invaded my mind. 

_ He’s scared and lost, _ I scolded myself.  _ He’s relaxing for the first time. Don’t turn it sexual. _


	18. Tell Me I Wasn't Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter! Gotta love protective Bucky!

As I woke up, I felt the bus sway and jump as it went along the road. Blinking slowly, I realized that I had been using Milly’s shoulder as a pillow. The next thing I realized is that my position allowed for a clear look down her shirt. 

I froze, not knowing what to do. Mentally, I cursed Milly for wearing such a low cut shirt. Yes, I get it's the fashion now but every man we passed had let his eyes linger over her chest for a moment longer than necessary.

And now here I was looking down her top. 

The swell of her pale breasts just rose out of her black bra. It wasn’t anything fancy like I’d seen in the stores. It was practical, like Milly. My blood roared in my ears as I felt it rush lower in my body. 

I sure as hell knew what that meant. 

Without giving any warning, I bolted straight up in my seat, wide eyes looking anywhere but at Milly. I felt her jump next to me at my sudden movement.

“Hey, hey, hey buddy. Calm down, you’re fine,” she crooned, touching my arm gently. “Stay calm, please. You’re here with me, Milly. We’re on a bus. It’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” I croaked out. “I’ll take my watch, you sleep.”

She patted me one last time before getting comfortable. I watched out of the corner of  my eye as Milly draped the heavy jacket over her body and snuggled down in her seat. One arm came up, bent at an odd angle, and she used it as a pillow as she leaned against the window. I waited until her breathing evened out before I looked at her.

Milly’s eyelids were smooth and gentle as she laid there, her face nuzzling her bicep. Her little hands were balled into fists, gripping the sleeves of her pale blue hoodie. Her bubblegum pink shirt was, thankfully, covered by the heavy black jacket.  Her boot clad feet bumped against mine as she adjusted in her sleep. The jacket slid a little as she shifted. I reached over and pulled it back up on her. 

“You two are cute,” someone said off to my side. 

I whipped my head around to look at them. A small, older woman sat there, her hands bobbing and weaving as she knitted. Her silvery-grey hair was curled and fluffed on her head, reminding me of a small dog I saw at the bus station. Her clothes gave me a nostalgic feeling as I looked at them. With one hand, she pushed her glasses higher on her nose as she smiled at me. 

“How long have you two been together?” she asked. 

“Uh… um…” I stuttered, trying to remind myself to use an accent while also trying to think of a logical answer. “Two years.”

“Oh, how sweet!” she crowed. When Milly shifted again, the old woman ducked her head and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I’ll keep my voice down. But I just have this to say, that girl sure does love you. Trust me, I know these things. You haven’t lived as long as me without knowing a thing or two.”

I nodded, thanking her.

“It was so sweet. She let you sleep on her shoulder for hours, not moving a muscle. And I can tell you love her too. You look at her the way my Harold looked at me.” The hunched woman went back to her knitting, apparently done speaking with me. I turned and looked at the sleeping girl beside me and felt warmth blossom in my chest. 

She was a constant. I knew she wouldn’t leave. When Milly talked to me, it wasn’t about what I was planning, it was what we were planning. She had already decided to stay by my side. She could have insisted on driving away with Kris and Jaylah, but instead, she jumped onto the back of the ATV and held onto me. 

She’d chosen me. 

And there was no way in hell I was letting her down. 

\----

“What do you mean I can’t get on the boat?” I demanded, tapping my foot irritably. 

The old sailor shrugged, his cigarette wiggling between his lips. “Sorry, las, your boyfriend looks nice and strong but you’re a scrawny little thing. I need strong workers and I don’t take freeloaders.”

Staring him straight in the eyes, I swung my backpack off and shoved it into Bucky’s chest. He grabbed it and slipped his arms through the straps, watching me carefully. Crouching down, I grasped the large bag of grain and hefted it onto my shoulder. Straightening back up, I gave him a wry smile. 

“I can carry my own weight, mate. So are we good?”

He looked at me in surprise. Coughing up a puff of smoke he nodded and sent me on my way. I heard Bucky snort behind me as I trekked onto the boat and below deck. As I set down my bag, Bucky came beside me and set down a second one. 

“At least it’ll be a short ride. Just have to help load and unload.”

“Exactly,” I grunted, pushing the sack further back. “Let’s just hope I don’t throw that guy overboard before we get there.”

Loading didn’t take too long. We got settling on the upper deck as the boat pulled out of the docks. There were a few benches placed around the edge of the deck, allowing any passengers to get a good view of the Channel as we went. I rested back against the rail and closed my eyes, allowing the breeze to rush through my hair. Bucky scooted up beside me, letting his arm rest along the back of the bench behind me. 

“We’ll need to get some weapons when we hit the mainland,” he murmured, keeping his voice low. 

“Shouldn’t be too hard. Just have to be sure we don’t get registered or anything.”

“Black market?”

I nodded. “That’d be best.”

I felt something bump against my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Bucky offering me a candy bar. 

“You haven’t eaten for a while.”

Shrugging, I pushed it back to him. “I’ll live. That’s some of your candy. I told you before, I’m not going to take it. It’s yours.”

He pressed it into my hand. “I want you to have it, Milly.”

Taking it, I turned around to smile at him. I swore that I could see the right corner of his mouth pull upwards into a half smile.

“Thanks, Bucky.”

Once I had finished the sweet candy, I got up to find a trash can. I had to venture below deck, but it didn’t take me too long. Just as I turned around from the bin to head back to the deck, I found myself pushed back into the wall. An arm came down on either side of me, boxing me in. 

A man with dirty hair and rotten teeth smiled at me, cocking his head from side to side as he leered. His yellow eyes roamed down my body. 

“You’re a pretty little thing, aintcha? What’s a girl like you doing on a dirty boat, huh?”

I snarled at him. “I will give you one chance to step away before I break your fucking arms.”

He studied me for a second, considering what I said. Without warning,  he lunged forward and planted his lips against mine. It was forceful and painful as his teeth gnashed and his rough lips moved. One of his hands wandered up my side, brushing across my chest, while the other traveled south. 

He didn’t even make it to the waistband of my jeans before he was thrown off of me. 

Bucky stood before me, my backpack still slung on his back. His shoulders rose and fell as he breathed heavily, his eyes wild and his teeth flashing. 

“Come near her again and I’ll kill you,” he growled, grabbing my arm and pushing me behind him. 

Moving with a hardened grace, he pulled me to the stairs and back up onto the upper deck. He marched me straight to the back of the boat. His hands were shaking as he crouched down, his back flush against the railing. 

“Bucky…” I reached out to touch him, but his hand flew up, the one covered with a glove to hide shining metal. He gripped my wrist, not so tight that it hurt, but firm enough to keep me from moving. 

“Tell me you’re okay,” he whispered, a weakness in his voice that I had never heard before. “Tell me I wasn’t too late.”

I kneeled beside him, letting him still hold onto me. I covered his hand with my own.

“I’m fine. You stopped him.”

“You didn’t, though,” his voice sounded tortured. “Why?”

I chuckled darkly. “I always try to see the good in people. I gave him a chance to leave without being hurt, but he didn’t take it. I was about to snap his hand off before you got there.”

Bucky finally looked up at me, his blue eyes large and round. 

“You would have stopped him then?”

I brushed my fingertips across his stubbled cheek. “Of course.”

Bucky fell forward, wrapping me up in his arms and pulling me to his chest. He buried his head into my neck, his hot lips brushing across my pulse point. 

I suppressed a small groan as he nuzzled into me. 

We held each other like that for some time. I ran my fingers through the short hairs at the base of his skull as he pressed me flush against him. 

I’m not sure how long we sat there, but when we finally released each other, it was with slow, lingering touches and heads pressed close together. 


	19. Why Am I So Dumb?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know its a short chapter, I'm sorry! I'm posting another one today too. Please leave comments and kudos!! Thanks, mates!

“Either of you want to explain why I have some junkie running around talking about how he got assaulted?”

The captain stood over us, gruff and surly faced. Milly kept her head down, her breathing rate jumping up a few paces. I looked up at the man, glaring at him for interrupting whatever had been going on between Milly and I. 

Keeping up the act of being English, I snapped at him, “The twat was trying to come on to my girl. He’s lucky I didn’t break his damn arm.”

He huffed and toed at Milly’s leg, getting her attention. I felt a growl threaten to slip out between my grinding teeth, but quickly swallowed it, not wanting to cause more issues.

“This true, girl?”

She nodded. “I was really scared. He… he started grabbing me and kissing me.” Tears started to roll down her cheeks as her shoulders shook. Her voice rose into a wail. “I thought he was going to rape me! If Andy hadn’t found me in time, who knows what would have happened!” 

Milly buried her face in my chest. Not knowing exactly what to do, I patted her back and rocked her back and forth, hoping it would calm her. 

“Alright, stop your crying. I’ll take care of the boy. You two just hide out here. Once we unload, I’ll call the cops to collect the guy.”

Once the captain had left, Milly sat back, rubbing the tears from her face. She didn’t sniffle nor did she continue her sobs. Honestly, she looked bored. 

“You’re pretty good at that,” I commented.

She laughed. “Every girl should know how to fake cry.”

I looked out at the water, admiring the lapping waves. “Think the cops will do anything about him?”

I saw her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. 

“I bet the captain won’t even call them. This whole business is illegal. He’ll just keep the guy below deck and promise us he’ll call the police. Once we leave, he’ll let the guy out.”

“At least we don’t have to worry about running into police.”

“Exactly.”

When we docked in France, we quickly helped unload the sacks of grain and high-tailed it out of there. I kept a firm grip on Milly’s hand as we walked, not wanting to lose her. I was so scared of her getting grabbed away from me. 

“In here,” Milly hissed, pulling me into an alley. “I nabbed these from the boat. I need you to cut my hair.” 

She thrust a pair of dull, rusted scissors into my hands and kneeled on the ground before me. Her eyes were closed as she turned her back on me, fully trusting that I wouldn’t hurt her.

“Milly-” I started.

“Don’t argue. I need to look different so Jer doesn’t find me. You’re already on your way to having a beard, so I don’t think you need to worry.” Milly grabbed a chunk of hair and held it out from her head. “Just start chopping.”

Slowly, I removed my glove, not wanting the dirty fabric to run through her hair. Holding my breath, I took ahold of the strands she offered and closed the scissors around them. With a clean  _ snick _ , the hair fell away. 

“Cut it nice and short, buddy,” she instructed. 

I hacked away, trying my best not to hurt her. Every once in awhile, I would pull a little too hard and I would hear her whimper. My gut would twist each time and I would apologize, gently petting at the injured spot. 

With a final cut, I was done. It wasn’t a good haircut. Some parts were longer than others while some were way too short. Her warm colored hair framed her face as the tips of the reddish strands tickled her chin. She turned to look up at me, still kneeling on the ground before me, and smiled. 

“Thank you, Bucky.”

\----

Why am I so dumb?

Why the hell did I think it was a good idea to  _ actually kneel _ in front of  _ Bucky Barnes? _ Not only were my knees getting covered in dirt and grime from the alley floor, but I was in quite a compromising position. Anytime he came to stand in front of me, I would have a direct line of sight at his crotch. And then, to top it off, he’d pull my hair in a way that made my heart race. I’d have to stifle the moan that would come up each time. When he’d hear me, he’d apologize and massage the spot that had been yanked on, which felt amazing. 

As soon as he finished, I gave him a smile, trying my hardest to hide my embarrassment. 

“Thank you, Bucky.”

He helped me back to my feet and dumped the scissors in a nearby dumpster. 

We waited until dark to steal a car and then, we were on our way.

We were on our way to Romania.


	20. A Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter of the day! Enjoy! Comment what you think!

“It’ll work for now, I think,” Bucky said, looking around the room.

I sniffed slightly, catching a whiff of rotten wood. Wrinkling my nose, I nodded.

“It’ll have to.”

Finding somewhere to live in Romania was hard. For the most part, we stayed on the streets, sleeping in flower beds and on benches. We’d take turns keeping watch through the night, keeping an eye out for HYDRA, Jer, cops, and really anybody else that could hurt us. On nights where the rain was just too harsh for us to stand, we’d hunker down in a homeless shelter. We’d avoid talking to a soul, not wanting to register on anyone’s radar. 

We’d both gotten thinner and our hair had grown a little, but we had become pretty unrecognizable. My eyes always looked tired and my hair was uneven and stringy while Bucky’s thick beard and fluffy hair made him look far different from the Winter Soldier. Our clothes were dirty and tattered. Our boots were falling apart. When we could, we’d work odd jobs. All of the money from those jobs went into our fund for a place to live. For food, we’d pickpocket for money and stole things when we had to. 

Life was hard. 

The weather was getting too cold for even Bucky and we knew we had to find somewhere to live; something semi-permanent. 

After some searching, we found an abandoned apartment building. It was falling apart and stank, but the only people who came in were drug addicts looking for a place to get high. We could handle a couple junkies. 

It’d be a safe place to hide until we had enough money to get an actual apartment. 

In the abandoned building, we chose a room on one of the higher floors. The drug addicts didn’t seem to want to come up that high. They were scared of falling through the rotting floor and they were scared that they wouldn’t have a good escape route if the cops showed up.

Bucky and I were smarter than them though. 

We had been staking the building out for a while and had figured out the safest paths to the upper floors. We knew where the strongest floors were and where the support beams rested. We knew all the fire escapes, all the easiest windows to break out, and the best way to the roof. 

We never tested it, but we were fairly certain we could make the jump to the next building. 

The night we moved in was a big deal for the both of us. It was the first night we could say we had a home. 

Having been able to take a proper shower the night before at a homeless shelter, we didn’t worry about breaking out the baby wipes and hand sanitizer. Instead, Bucky worked on setting up a small space heater we’d stolen and piling our jackets on the floor in front of it. 

“I’ll take first shift. Lay down,” Bucky instructed.

I curled up into a ball, pulling my hoodie tight around my body. Bucky sat down beside me and lifted my head and placing it on his lap. I pressed closer to his body, savoring his warmth. As I started to doze off, I felt his hand pet across my head, smoothing out my tangled hair. His voice rumbled as he hummed a quiet song. A tingling feeling traveled down my spine as his hand brushed across the back of my neck. 

Slowly, I was lulled into a drowsy state. If I was smart, I would have kept my mouth shut. But it was just so quiet in the apartment. All I could hear was Bucky’s gentle humming, the muffled sound of drug addicts on the ground floor, and the whirring whistle of the space heater. I just wanted to fill the quiet. So, of course, I decided to speak. Because I’m an idiot. 

“Bucky?” I mumbled, nuzzling his thigh. 

“Yes?” 

“Have you ever been in love?”

His hand stopped moving, hovering just over the exposed skin of my neck. I could feel his fingers just graze me as he shook slightly. 

“Why do you ask?” Bucky resumed petting me.

I shrugged. “I was doing some reading at the library the other day. Someone published an article accusing Captain America for having relationships with the Commandos during the war. You were close with him so I guess… I guess I was curious. You don’t have to answer, it’s okay.”

We were silent. He continued to brush his fingers across my head, helping me to relax again. 

“I don’t think so,” Bucky said, finally speaking. “I love... loved him. But not like that, I don’t think. I don’t remember much about my life in New York and I can’t remember much about the war, so I have no idea what Steve did then.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “Have you? Been in love, I mean.” 

I shook my head, messing up my hair more as it was scrubbed against his jeans. “I never had time for love. Before HYDRA took me, I’d never had a boyfriend. Once I escaped, I was worried about survival. There were times I had to pretend to be in love so I could have a roof over my head, but I’ve never actually have felt love, unless you counted the other experiments at the lodge. We loved each other, in a way.”

“Didn’t your family show you love before you were taken?”

I shook my head again. “Dad left to find work. Mom was busy trying to make ends meet. I ended up working as a nanny. Didn’t really see Mom much. Wasn’t too hard for HYDRA to nab me on my way home from work. Mom probably thought I’d run off. I doubt she went looking for me.”

“Everyone thought I died in the war. No one was looking for me either. No one cares about me. No one except you and Steve.”

I rolled over and looked up at him. He glanced down at me before brushing hair off my forehead. Bucky looked away quickly, but not fast enough. I saw the tears glittering at the corners of his eyes. 

Moving slowly, so as not to upset him, I sat up and wrapped my arms around his middle. I tucked my head just under his chin and held him tightly. Not a word was spoken as he took me into his arms and leaned his head back against the wall, his body shaking as he struggled to hold his tears in. 

“It’s going to be okay, Bucky. I’m sure Steve is looking for you now; he still loves you. If you want to go to him, you can.”

He squeezed me tighter. “No. I barely remember him. I know you. I know that if I was ever taken, you’d come find me, just like I’d do for you.”

I jumped slightly, startled at his words.

“You’d come looking for me?” I asked, confused.

Bucky grasped my shoulders and pushed me back from him so he could look in my eyes. “Of course. I care about you. I care more about you than I do about myself.”

I’m not sure what came over me in that moment. A dam burst inside of me and all these emotions came flooding out; emotions I didn’t think I could feel. Without warning, I cupped his face and pulled him to me, kissing him with everything I had. It wasn’t romantic or gentle. It was pure passion. It was rough and hard, but oh so sweet. 

Bucky met me with the same ferocity, nipping at my bottom lip. His metal arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me until I was straddling his lap. His chest was pressed flush against me as he hugged me close. His other hand tangled itself into my already tangled hair and tugged, causing me to moan into his mouth. My tongue snaked out between my lips and stroked the tip of his, caressing it before I drug my teeth across his swollen lip. 

We pulled apart, panting heavily as we stared into each other’s eyes. 

I pressed my forehead against his, resisting the urge to duck away as I spoke.

“You’re all I have,” I whispered. “I’m yours, Bucky.”

“You’re mine,” he growled, his voice thick and deep. “And I’m yours.”

\----

“Steve, I think I have a lead,” Sam said, stepping into my apartment. “Some footage from the Smithsonian.”

“I’m guessing Natasha gave a key to you too.”

“She thought it was a good idea for a few trusted people to be able to get in here. Never know, you could fall and break your hip; you’re an old man.”

I snorted. “Very funny. You do know I’m moving out of here soon, right? I’m moving into the Avenger’s tower.”

“You are surprisingly not very excited about this lead,” Sam said, placing the Stark pad down on the coffee table and shifting a few packed boxes off the couch so he could sit down. Steve continued wrapping glasses in newspaper and putting them into a large, empty box.

“What's the lead on? Rumlow?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Bucky, you dumb ass. Looks like your buddy decided to do a bit of sightseeing before leaving the city. Got himself a little girlfriend while he was at it.”

I dropped the glass I was holding. With a crash, it shattered on the floor. Both of us flinched at the sound, thinking back to gunfire. I stepped carefully around the glass and picked up the Stark pad, playing the video that Sam had pulled up. 

People milled about the Captain America exhibit excitedly. From the corner of the frame, a large man in a baseball cap appeared. He shifted to get around a squealing child, giving the camera a quick glimpse of his face.

It was definitely Bucky.

He stood in front of the memorial dedicated to him. Steve could tell that he was trying to make sense of everything. A petite, pretty girl sidled up to him and looked at the wall as well. It was obvious she was talking to him, but it was impossible to tell what was being said. 

Bucky dropped back into a fighting stance, squaring up against the girl. The light caught the metal of his hand, twinkling against the polished surface. She appeared to talk him down and they sat down on a bench together. They continued talking, though it was more heated. Steve held his breath when Bucky grabbed the girl’s arm. Eventually, they both seemed to relax and they left together.

“Is that it?” I asked. 

Sam nodded. “They both avoided cameras going into the room and going out. I only caught wind of this because I buddy of mine volunteers at the Smithsonian on the weekends. He heard about a disturbance and pulled up the video. He knew I was on the lookout for a metal armed dude and my buddy noticed that light was reflecting off this dude’s hand. Sent the video my way.”

I set the tablet down. “Alright, so now we have a new mystery. We need to figure out who the girl is.”

“And we still have to figure out where they went.”

“Exactly,” I said. “I guess we just have to put feelers out and hope for the best. Wait for tips to come in.”

Sam leaned back on the couch, stretching his legs further out in front of him. “Why haven’t you asked Stark to run a facial recognition program? He could probably find Barnes in an hour.”

“That’s if Bucky is going anywhere with cameras.” I dropped into my recliner and pinched the bridge of my nose. “ And I can’t let Stark find Bucky. It wouldn’t end well.”

Sam cocked his head. “Want to explain?”

I sighed. “HYDRA was involved with the death of Stark’s parents. Tony just thinks it was a car accident. And, unfortunately, there's a good chance Bucky was involved with the whole thing.”

“Well, shit,” Sam stated, eloquently. “Stark will try to murder your boy.”

“Probably. That’s why I want to find Bucky first and find out for sure. Then I can either break the news to Tony or just bury the truth away. What Stark doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“That could come back to bite you in the ass, Rogers.”

I smiled wryly. “It seems like everything I do does that.”


	21. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the smut begin!

Time passed. 

Milly and I both found a couple jobs where no one would look too much into our past. We were paid under the table in cash and eventually we were making enough to have a small apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was warm and it wasn’t rotting. 

The apartment is what Milly called a studio. That essentially meant that the crammed everything into one tiny room. Thankfully, the bathroom had been walled off. 

We didn’t always have hot water and sometimes the stove would leak gas, but it was ours. We saved up some more money and got ourselves a mattress so we didn’t have to sleep on a pile of coats anymore. It had taken a while, but eventually we felt safe enough to sleep at the same time. 

We’d get back from our first job, eat a small meal, and then curl up together to sleep. I was careful to keep my metal armed pinned beneath me. My nightmares made me dangerous. There were plenty of occasions where I woke up and Milly had a fresh bruise. She gave as good as she got, though. I would wake up with a knee in my side as she fought against the attackers in her dreams. Once I got her awake, she’d bite down on her knuckles to keep from crying out too loud.

Wouldn’t want the neighbors to ask questions. 

Apparently one of the neighbors had asked Milly some questions, though the conversation did not go as we had feared. It actually made me laugh for the first time since I was taken by HYDRA.

A little old lady lived right next door to us. She was sweet and liked to bake cookies, which made the whole floor smell sweet. Sometimes, if she needed help around the apartment, she’d ask for my help and pay me in baked treats.

One day, the little lady stopped Milly in the hall to talk about a “pressing matter.”

This pressing matter was Milly’s sex life.

“Dear,” the old woman said, “you can’t make love every single night. You’ll wear yourself out. And with how much you work, you need all the energy you can get.”

Milly told me that she had nearly dropped the groceries she was holding. 

“Excuse me?” she’d asked.

“I hear you two in there every night, moaning and groaning. Sometimes, you give a little scream or two, dear. The walls are very thin and these ears aren’t totally deaf yet. And I see those bruises, my husband and I used to do that sort of thing too. I think you kids call it bondage? Kinks? I’m not sure. Just be safe and don’t have any babies yet. You’re too young.”

When Milly told me, I was howling with laughter. My cheeks hurt, not used to smiling, while my stomach burned as the muscles contracted. The laugh sounded funny, like it was too high and too light for me. 

But I liked it.

“We aren’t even fucking,” I hissed, still giggling.

“She doesn’t know that. I mean, we kiss and I’m sure she’s seen that. Must have heard our nightmares and just assumed…” Milly whispered, trailing off.

I stifled another round of laughter, all while my mind raced.

I was well aware that Milly wanted to sleep with me. If I said I didn’t want to, I’d be lying. But every time I looked at my hands, the same hands that had maimed and killed, I couldn’t imagine them being gentle with her. I was so scared I would lose control and hurt her. 

It was getting hard to abstain, though. Some days, Milly and I wouldn’t see each other; our schedules wouldn’t align. So I would return to the apartment sometime after she’d leave and I’d be able to smell her. I could smell her want and the sweetness of her sex. I’d know what she’d done. She’d pleasured herself, full well knowing my above average senses would pick up on that.

All the blood in my body would be redirected south and I’d have to step into the little shack of a bathroom we had and take care of myself in the shower.

I knew damn well why she did it out in the open, leaving that scent behind. She was teasing me, taunting me. Tempting me. 

I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing what she was doing to me. 

Somehow, she always figured it out. The next time I would see her, she’d smirk at me and ask how my shower was. It always made me smile.

It had taken a while to get used to smiling. I was used to hiding all my emotions; I was trained to think they were a weakness. Milly never pushed me to express myself. She just continued to be her and eventually, I started to find myself.

Memories came back. That was the hardest part. Seeing everything I had done. Killing people I had once been friends with, people I had looked up to. Seeing me help take care of Steve while we were kids, but then be hit with a memory of me trying to kill him. I continued writing in journals, filling up page after page until the book was spent. Milly and I packed our full journals into a backpack and kept it below the floorboards. We knew if anyone found them, we’d be dead. We’d leave the one we were working on out, just so it’d be easier to find after a flashback. 

I kept a picture of Steve in the front of mine. Partially so Milly and I could tell the difference between our journals in the brain fog that followed a memory, and partially as a reminder to myself that I had a past. I also kept one of the pictures of Milly and I tucked alongside the photo of Steve. I wanted to be reminded that I had a future too.

I knew I couldn’t be the Bucky that Steve had known, but I could be something. I didn’t have to be the Winter Soldier. I had been a good man once, I could do it again. 

\----

“Head home early,” my boss said, wiping his hands on a dirty rag. “You’ve worked hard today. Go spend some time with that girl of yours.”

A couple of the other men nearby whistled and howled at me. 

“She’s a fine little thing, Luca. I still wonder how you got her.”

I laughed. “I got lucky. See you tomorrow.”

The men were kind and harmless. They may give Milly appreciative looks when she stopped by, but they would never touch her. Honestly, I would trust them to try and protect her. They were a loyal bunch. My boss was a strict man, but he was fair. If we worked hard enough, he’d let us leave a little early. I’m pretty sure he knew Luca wasn’t my real name and Sofia wasn’t Milly’s, but he didn’t seem to much care. I worked hard and he knew Milly’s boss, who said she worked hard, so he wasn’t going to interfere. 

I considered calling Milly to let her know I was coming home, but decided against it. I picked up some fresh fruit from the market on my way home as a small treat for us; I knew she’d like it. 

As I approached our door, I heard a muffled noise from inside, one I didn’t recognize. In a panic, I burst in, dropping the fruit just inside the door and trampling them in my haste. What I saw made me freeze.

Milly was laid out on our mattress, her naked legs spread and her shirt hitched up slightly. One of her hands as fisted into the messy blankets while the other was  nestled between her pale legs, just hiding her privates. She stared at me with large, round eyes as her mouth hung open in shock. Her hair was lying flat in the front but in the back, where she’d been nestled in the pillows, was ruffled and sticking up. Desperately, she pulled blankets over her body, trying to hide herself.

“Close the goddamn door,” she hissed.

Stuttering slightly, I kicked the door shut. Shuffling in place, I looked down and away and mumbled an apology.

“I didn’t know you’d be… doing that. I’m sorry.”

I heard her sigh. “Just close your eyes and so I can get some underwear on.”

Before she could move, I caught a whiff of her scent. I felt a swell of courage and boldness, with a touch of want, rush through me. Instead of closing my eyes and turning my back, I looked up at her and locked eyes. 

Milly seemed startled by this. 

“Bucky, if I’m going to get dressed-” 

I cut her off. “No.”

Slowly, I stalked across the room, not tearing my eyes away from hers.

“You’ve been taunting me for a while now. Trying to get me to break down. I know you want me. And you know I want you.” I reached the edge of the bed and kneeled at her feet. I leaned forward, bracing my arms on either side of her body. Creeping up the bed, I hovered just over her. I leaned down, ignoring the way her chest heaved as she panted, and pressed my mouth to her neck. I placed a gentle and chaste kiss there, noting the way her breath hitched. I leaned forward a little more and whispered in her ear. 

“You’ve been driving me crazy, doll. I’ve wanted you, all of you, for some time. I just don’t want to lose control. To hurt you.” I nipped at her ear, punctuating my point. She gave a small yelp, though it wasn’t out of pain, but out of surprise.

“Bucky,” she whined. “Please.”

“But seeing you like this,” I said, trailing small kisses down her neck before moving off of her and to her side. “It’s made me realize something. I’ve been under control for so long. I was controlled while in the army, while under HYDRA, and now, I am under the control of my fear. I don’t want to be ruled by fear anymore. By losing control with you, I am gaining control of myself.”

And with that, I swept the blanket off of her and press my lips to hers. Milly whimpered against my lips as she clamped her legs shut. I pulled back and tutted.

“You’re finally getting what you wanted, Mills.”

“I’ve always had what I wanted,” she panted. “I have you.”

Groaning, I resumed my attack on her neck, nipping and kissing the sweet column of flesh. I allowed my warm, flesh hand to trail down her stomach, appreciating the toned muscle. I pushed her legs apart, a tad rougher than I intended, and allowed my finger to trace patterns on her inner thighs. 

She squirmed beneath me, desperate for my touch.

“Tease,” she hissed. I could hear the smirk in her voice. 

I bit into her neck, harder than the small nibbles I had been doing. Milly gave a quiet moan, arching into me.

“You’ve been teasing me for nearly a year. I think you can wait a little longer,” I whispered. I felt goosebumps rise on her skin. Languidly, I traveled up her thigh and palmed her, feeling the heat and wetness against my palm. She pressed against me, hopeful. I felt her hand snaking up my back, following the seam of my jacket. Milly threaded her fingers though the short hairs at the base of my skull and up into the longer ones. Her fingers curled and with a tug, she had my head arched back. A growl crept its way out between my lips.

“I think you’re wearing too much clothing,” she said, smiling up at me. 

I sat back, tall and straight, holding eye contact. I gave her no warning before slipping a single finger between her folds and straight into her slick, warm channel. With a breathy gasp, Milly dug her nails into my jacket sleeve, grasping at my metal arm desperately. I curled my finger once, twice, and then slid it out. She whined, pouting up at me. 

Moving slowly, I let my jacket slide off my shoulders. Milly watched every movement with interest. She tugged at the hem of my shirt begging me with her eyes. I pulled it off over my head, messing my hair up. Her eyes traveled over my torso as she licked her lips, wetting them.

“Damn, you look good,” she murmured, reaching out and running her cold fingers over my stomach.


	22. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut! Tell me what you think!

As he pulled the shirt off, he revealed his thick, hardened muscles. I thought back to the first time I had seen him shirtless in the lodge. He’d been muscular and angular, but in an unhealthy way. Since then, he had filled out. I always had thought he was beautiful, but seeing him like this, disheveled and craving me, only made him seem sexier. His abs flexed as he moved and the V leading along his pelvis was inviting. The muscles covering the seam of his metal arm has grown in size, covering the raised edge of the metal. 

My mouth had gone dry, making me involuntarily lick my lips. I touched him, needing confirmation that he was real. 

“Damn, you look good,” I said, ogling him. 

He chuckled. “You’re turn.”

I huffed. “I’m already half naked. You’re still dressed from the waist down. Make it even first, buddy.”

Bucky glared at me playfully as flopped down flat on his back, making the mattress wiggle slightly.

“Undress me.”

I was startled by his demand, but did as he said. I started at his boots, unlacing them and pulling them off. His belt buckle was a little harder. The strain of the bulge of his jeans was putting pressure on the belt, making it difficult to undo. I cursed it under my breath as I dragged his pants down, taking his socks off with them. I left Bucky in nothing but his boxer briefs, which were leaving little to the imagination. I swallowed thickly at what I saw.

Bucky gave me that sexy smirk he always used when he knew he was turning me on; when he was teasing me. 

“They’ll come off when your shirt comes off.”

I threw his words back at him. “Undress me.”

He took ahold of my hips and pulled me down towards him, causing me to squeal. Rolling me under him, Bucky kissed at my lips. Using one hand, he shoved my knees apart and kneeled between them. Hovering over me, he looked into my eyes and gave me a shy smile. 

“You’re okay with all of this?” he asked.

“Shut up and kiss me, Barnes.”

His devious grin returned as he ground his clothed bulge into my womanhood, causing me to cry out in both surprise and ecstasy. Bucky gave a deep, guttural groan as he pressed himself against me.  

“God, Milly. I want you.”

“Take me.”

He pulled me back up and grabbed the edge of my shirt. With a tug, he pulled it over my head, leaving me bare before him. Bucky’s eyes roamed over my skin, taking in everything. His hands drifted up my sides, his thumbs skimming across the multitude of scars my body bore. I shivered at his touch; one hand warm, one hand cool. He kept moving up and cupped my breast, squeezing gently. Bucky leaned forward and captured my lips in a kiss again.

He pulled back slightly, out noses brushing each other as he spoke against my lips.

“You’re beautiful.”

Before I could respond, he pushed me back down onto the bed and began to kiss and lick down my body. He’d pause at the larger, gnarlier scars and give them some special attention. Bucky placed little kitten licks at their edges and wide, teasing strokes along their length. Finally, he reached my wet, dripping folds. Bucky inhaled, seemingly savoring the scent, before dragging the flat of his tongue along my slit. My breath caught in my throat, forcing me into silence. Bucky, on the other hand, moaned loudly.

“Taste so good,” he groaned before diving back in.

He lapped at me, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I bit my lip as he swirled his tongue around the hot button at the crown of my pussy. His mouth left my body and was instead replaced with his cool, metal fingers. They swirled gently through my fluids, teasing at my entrance. 

He spoke, placing a gentle kiss to my jutting hip bone. “Let me hear you.”

With that, he slid two of his fingers into my core, curling upwards and hitting my sweet spot. I gasped, grabbing at the nearest thing, which happened to be Bucky. My nails dug into his shoulder leaving crescent shaped welts in his flesh. He nipped at my thigh before attacking me with his mouth again. My other hand tangled itself in his hair. 

“Bucky, I swear to God, if you aren’t inside me soon, I will strangle you.”

He gave me one more soft kiss before coming back up to ravage my mouth, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue. I moaned against him, my hands sliding down his body and tugging at his boxer briefs.

“Off,” I demanded, trying to slip my hand inside. My fingertips brushed against curled, short hair before he pulled back from me. He pushed the tight underwear down and over his bulge, freeing him from his restraints. Bucky’s thick cock sprang free, bouncing slightly. I reached out and stroked it gently, admiring the weight of his thickness. His dick was large, the largest I’d ever seen. It was nestled amongst dark curls set just above his thick, muscular thighs. Leaning forward, I kissed at the pink crown. I felt his hand come up and craddle my head gently, his thumb skimming across my cheek.

Looking up at him, I gave him the most sweet and innocent eyes I could manage. That put Bucky on guard right away; he knew that when I make that face, I must be up to something. 

Before he could speak, I opened my mouth and took him in, my tonguing swirling and lavishing his length. Bucky gasped, the hand on my cheek stiffening. Relaxing my throat, I took him as deep as I could, groaning at the feel of him slipping over my tongue. I pulled back, leaving tiny kisses on his shaft as I stroked him. 

Suddenly, Bucky grasped my wrist in his hand. He looked at me with wide, fearful eyes.

“Protection-”

“Serum we got stops any STDs from developing and they sterilized me. It’s safe.”

He nodded, though still looked nervous. “Good to know, but I was asking if you want a knife or gun incase I snap? I… I don’t want to hurt you.”

I squeezed his cock tighter in my hand, causing him to hiss slightly. His hips bucked forward as his eyelids fluttered shut.

“I trust you, Bucky. Now, I want you to fuck me.”

\----

I dragged Milly up and locked our lips together. She pressed her body closer to me, her warm breasts grazing my chest. Wrapping my arms tightly around her, I pulled Milly flush against me. My cock rubbed against her thigh and the friction sent tingles through my body.

As gently as I could, I laid her back onto the mattress. Her legs were splayed on either side of me, leaving her body open and inviting. I ran my hand down from her cheek and to her breast, cupping it. My thumb swept back and forth across her peaked nipple, dragging breathy gasps from between her lips. I felt one of her hands slid down my stomach and grasp me, tugging me towards her warm pussy. 

I let my tongue drag down her neck until I reached her shoulder. I planted kisses there as I pressed the leaking head of my cock to her entrance. A shuddering breath shook my body, nerves getting to me. Milly ran her hands up the back of my neck, guiding my face around.

“Look at me,” she commanded, and I was too weak to disobey. “I love you.”

I felt myself freeze at her words. “Will you stay?” I whispered. “You won’t leave me?”

“Never.”

I pressed my forehead to hers as I pressed my length into her body. Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open as she stretched to accommodate me. I paused, scared I was hurting her.

Milly gave me a feral growl. “Barnes, don’t you dare stop.”

I let out a low groan as my hips snapped forward on their own accord, fully sheathing me in her fluttering channel. Milly gave a cry, though I recognized what it was; it was a cry of pleasure. 

“You feel so good wrapped around me,” I said, speaking breathily. I pulled back and snapped forward again, relishing the sounds that she made. Milly’s legs came up around my hips, urging me on. I picked up the pace, fucking into her faster and faster. The sound of skin striking skin melded with Milly’s moans and my growls. 

Without warning, Milly rolled us over, straddling my hips. She sat back, taking me fully inside her. I watched as her head fell back, a sinful look on her face. Her hips rocked against mine, squeezing and stroking every inch of my throbbing cock. 

My hands came up, grabbing onto her hips in a brutal grasp. I held her still as I fucked up into her, feeling the delicious drag and friction as I pumped in and out of her. 

I let one of my hands slid down to where we were joined and pressed my thumb into Milly’s clit. My thumb swirled in her juices and brushed across the hot button, making her arch her back in ecstasy.

“Bucky, oh god, I’m getting close.”

Groaning, I rolled us back over, hovering just above Milly’s body. 

“You’ll cum when I cum,” I growled, taking up a punishing pace. Milly grabbed at me, pulling me closer and deeper into her. Her nails dragged across my skin leaving red marks crisscrossed the already marred skin. I ducked my head to her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. I took ahold of her wrists and wrenched them above her head. They were so small, I was able to grasp them in one hand. The other hand, my metal one, resumed drawing circles at her clit. 

As Milly moaned and writhed beneath me, close to her release, I felt mine quickly approaching. Hunching over, I sunk my teeth into her shoulder grunting as my cock twitched and spilled itself inside of her. At the first burst of cum, Milly seized around me, her pussy fluttering and tightening. She grabbed at me desperately, crying my name.

As we both came down from our highs, I slid myself from her dripping core and pressed a kiss to her lips. 

“I love you,” I whispered. 

She kissed me back.


	23. Coming For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has been shit as of late so its been hard to post, my apologies. Here you go though, a new chapter!

I woke up beside Milly on our little mattress. Her legs were tangled with mine beneath the tattered sheets and her hand was interlocked with mine. She didn’t wake up when I pulled myself out of the bed to clean up the fruit that I had crushed into the floor. She slept through me cursing at the stains and she slept through my shower. It wasn’t until I was in the process of pulling my jeans over my hips that she stirred.

Milly smiled lazily. “Morning, Buck.”

“Morning, Mills. Sleep well?”

She nodded. “Pretty damn good.”

I knelt down and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Sore at all?”

“Bucky, we’re both superhumans. You don’t need to worry about hurting me.”

“Not true. It’d hurt if I punched you,” I snorted, standing up to put on my favorite red shirt. The sleeves were long, like all of my shirts, but it was soft and fit well over my arm.

“Hush up. Where are you heading? Neither of us work today” she said, rolling onto her back to watch me pull on my jacket and gloves. 

“Going to the farmer’s market. Thought I could get us some fruit for breakfast, since I crushed the stuff I got yesterday.”

Milly sat up, propping herself on her arms. “Want me to come with you?”

I shook my head. “Get yourself cleaned up. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

She reached a hand out to me, gesturing for me to come closer. When I stepped to her side, she tugged on my sleeve until I bent over. Milly leaned up and gave me a quick, chaste kiss.

“Hurry back,” she urged, her voice sultry. 

I groaned lowly and caught her lips again. I pulled back and pressed my forehead to hers and whispered, “Your breath stinks. You should brush your teeth.”

Laughing, Milly pushed me away. “Get out of here, loser.”

The market was loud, as usual. Everyone was bustling about and inspecting the goods. Some of the sellers smiled and waved, greeting me by my fake name, Luca. I’d shyly wave back, my grin not as wide. Only Milly got my natural smiles. 

After stopping by a stand to buy some plums, a favorite of mine, I noticed a man staring at me out of the corner of my eye. When I turn to look at him, he took off at a sprint, leaving his newspaper behind. I felt my eyes roam, looking for anyone else acting odd. I hurried over to the abandoned newspaper, and was floored by what I saw.

It was me. 

But it also wasn’t.

The man staring out of the page wore all black and bore my face, but his hair was long and he had no beard. His clothes were cleaner than mine and he seemed shorter than me. 

Also, he’d just blown up a bunch of politicians. 

I knew that by now, the man who’d spotted me had called in a tip to the police. That meant people were on there way. The man would direct them straight to the apartment Milly and I shared. 

I had to get home. 

Forgetting the plums, I started my brisk walk back. Running would draw too much attention, I knew that. But I knew some shortcuts that others didn’t.

\----

A knock at the door startled me. Scrunching at my wet hair with my towel, I went to open the door, grateful that I’d just finished getting dressed.

The old woman from next door was standing there, looking distraught. 

“Dear, I think you should come to my apartment for a bit,” she insisted.

“Why?” I asked.

She handed me a newspaper, pointing at the front page. “One of the men upstairs stopped me this morning and gave me this. Said he’d already called in a tip. I know it wasn’t Luca, I really do, but police will be here soon and it might be best if you aren’t in the same apartment as him.” 

The picture on the cover looked similar to Bucky, but I could tell right away it wasn’t him. My blood boiled at the knowledge that someone was trying to frame MY Bucky. I knew what I needed to do; I needed to get our gear, find Bucky, and get out of the city. That’s all that mattered. 

I handed the newspaper back to the woman. “Thank you, but I’m not worried. I plan on going to work soon anyways. I’d suggest you go out for the day. Who knows what’s going to happen here.”

The old woman nodded. “Yes, I see dear. I think I’ll go to visit my sister. Be safe at work.” She gave me a delicate wave before heading back to her apartment. As soon as her door closed, I kicked mine shut and went to get things together. 

I stopped in my tracks once I had turned around. Standing in the center of my apartment was a man. And not just any man; Steve Rogers. 

He was bigger than I thought. I always assumed he was the same size as Bucky, but instead, he was taller and bulkier. Eyeing him over, I could tell that starting a fight with him would be a bad idea. His face was mostly covered by his helmet, but I could see the twinkling  blue eyes that girls at work gushed over. 

“Uh, hi,” he said, shuffling nervously. “Do you speak English?”

I didn’t answer him, instead looking around the room and planning. If I snagged the journals from the table and got the bag from under the floorboards, I’d have the necessities. No weapons, but we’d have our memories. 

“I’m looking for my friend,” Steve pushed, trying to get me to talk. 

Instead of speaking, I made a mad dash to grab the nearby journals. He reacted quickly, trying to catch my arm. Instead, he snagged the journals, ripping them from my hands. Before I could say anything, he flipped Bucky’s open. I knew what’d he’d see; a picture of himself in his uniform and a photo of Bucky and I.

“This is Bucky’s, isn’t it?” Steve asked, his voice low and dangerous. “What have you done with him?”

I finally broke down and spoke. “They’re coming for him, aren’t they? They’re on their way?”

Steve looked taken aback, but nodded. 

“They’re almost here,” he said. 


	24. Got a Plan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Leave a comment!

The girl was tiny. I mean, she had to be Natasha’s height or shorter. But after all my years working alongside strong women, I wasn’t about to underestimate her. 

I wasn’t expecting her to bolt across the room to grab at a couple of little books, though. I tried catch her arm, but connected with the books instead. They nearly went flying with force of my grab, but I managed to hang onto them. Curiosity got the better of me as I opened the top one. 

And there I was. At least, a picture of me. Beneath it was a picture of Bucky and the girl in front of me. Her head was bowed and he looked at her with gentle and caring eyes; an expression I hadn’t seen in years.

At first, I felt a smile tug at my lips. I knew it had to be Bucky’s. Then, anger flooded me, knowing that this girl could be with HYDRA. She could be keeping my friend against his will. She could have brainwashed him. 

“This is Bucky’s, isn’t it? What have you done with him?” I asked, my voice demanding.

She appeared scared, looking up at me with her big, hazel eyes. As she blinked, the light caught in the green and gold flecks of her irises. Her hair was frizzy and damp, but drying quickly in the warm air of the apartment. Her knees were bent and her hands up in a fighting stance. She held herself in a way that didn’t make her look dangerous, but more like a scared, wild animal. 

When she spoke, it was with a flawless, American accent. “They’re coming for him, aren’t they? They’re on their way?”

I was startled by the care she showed for him, but answered her anyways.

With a nod, I told her, “They’re almost here.”

Cursing under her breath, the girl began to move, tapping at the floor with her boot clad foot. 

“Where’s Bucky?” I asked again. “And who are you?”

“Bucky’s away. And if he’s smart, he’ll stay away until the cops clear out,” Without any warning, she stomped her foot through the floor. Reaching into the hole she made, she yanked a black backpack out. With a graceful swing, she slung it on her back. As she clicked the straps into place, she continued to talk. 

“I’m his… friend. I guess. Doesn't really matter right now. I need to go.”

“Too late,” I hissed as a concussion grenade came in through the window. She kicked it at me and I slammed my shield over it. 

I grabbed her and yanked her behind my shield as bullets came flying through the door. 

She ducked out of my arms and made a beeline for the window. Just as the front door blew inwards, the girl punched through the glass and was climbing out onto the thin ledge of the window sill.

“Don’t move!” one of the cops yelled. 

Without answering, the girl reached above her head and grabbed the sill above. With the agility of a gymnast, she’d pulled herself out of the line of fire. 

“Shit,” I hissed, busting through the line of cops. I ran up the stairs to the next floor, the police hot on my tail. I caught a glimpse of the girl in an apartment as a terrified couple burst out the front door. She waved me in and I obliged, slamming the door shut behind me. 

“Got a plan?” I asked. 

“Of course I have a plan,” she said, a dangerous smirk on her face. “My plan is to not die.”

She took a few steps back and crouched in a runner's starting position, facing the door. 

“When they come in, get out. We need to get to the west side of the building so we can get to the next roof over. The building is a little taller than the others so you’re less likely to break a leg.”

“You can find Bucky, right? And protect him?” 

The girl gave me a side eye, studying me. “That’s what I’ve been doing for awhile now.”

I nodded, making up my mind. “I’ll hold them off as best I can. You just worry about getting out.”

She grinned wickedly. “I see why he likes you.”

My breath caught in my throat at her words.

Bucky remembered me. 

More importantly, he liked me. 

Before either of us could say a word, the door opened, and the girl was moving. 

\----

I dodged under the barrels of the first few officers with ease, but got held up by the next row. Instead of evading, I decided it was time to attack. 

With a rigid arm, I slammed into the nearest with an armbar, sending him down. The next one went to punch me, but I easily blocked. When a bullet whizzed past my head, I decided to start moving again. 

_ Bucky is going to be so mad when he finds out I did this _ , I thought as I hurled myself over the hand railing. Not even counting the floors as I went past, I waited until I was sure I’d passed most of the police. Grabbing the nearest handrail, I screamed out in pain as my shoulder was wrenched out of place. 

Grimacing, I used my other arm to pull myself up. I took a moment to fix my shoulder, but was spurred into action by the gunfire over head. Quickly, I chose the best apartment for my needs, kicked the door open, and took a running leap out the window. 

The wind rushed through my hair, making it whip back and forth wildly.  My legs were running before I even hit the ground and my arms pinwheeled. Just before I hit the ground, I curved forward and let myself roll into the landing. Back on my feet, I began to run again.

When a body slammed into me, sending me sprawling, I half expected it to be the police. Instead, it was a tall, fit man in what appeared to be a cat suit. His eyes were slits as he glared down at me. Claws extended from his fingertips as he advanced on me. 

A rain of bullets fell on him, though they bounced off harmlessly. I curled my arm over my head, thankful that he was in the right position to shield me. Just as quickly as they started, the bullets stopped.

“Where is Barnes?” the man asked, his accent thick. 

“Just missed him,” I spat, scrambling to my feet. “Now, if you’d excuse me…”

The man attacked again, hissing. “You  _ will  _ tell me where he is.”

Steve landed beside me trying to knock the man away from me. 

“Just run!” the Captain yelled, decking the cat man.

And I sure as hell did as I was told. 

A guy dressed as a cat? What was next? I was tired of these heroes and their gimmicks. 

Steve wasn’t able to buy me much of a head start. The cat man was on my tail in no time. We ducked and weaved through traffic, Steve following behind. 

I knew exactly what Bucky would do. He’d steal a car or something and drive his ass out of here. 

I wasn’t Bucky, though. 

Instead, I looked for the largest car I could find. Once I located it, I climbed up its back, busted the windshield out and pulled the driver free. Timing it perfectly, I tossed the screaming man into the bed of the nearest truck. With the car in cruise control, it didn’t even slow down. 

Reaching inside, I cranked the wheel as hard as I could, sending the backend of the car out to the side. As the car spun, it tilted and began its roll just as I jumped off. 

And just as I planned, the cat dude body-slammed right into it. 

And not as I planned, a flying soup can landed and held me at gunpoint. 

I was fucked. 

\----

They’d already caught her.

I was too late. 

Keeping out of sight, I watch as Milly, MY Milly, was dragged into a containment unit that hadn’t been built for her. Her hair was a mess and her eyes round and scared as they shoved her down into the chair. Clamps came up and over her forearms and around her calves. Once they closed the door of the unit, the lights turned on. And she started to scream.

I nearly ran to her when I heard that. Milly’s howls of pain were like knives to my heart. A man leisurely strolled to the side of the box and fiddled with a panel. As he closed the small door covering the controls, Milly relaxed, breathing heavily.

“What the hell?” she shrieked. I felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips. 

She was still her same, fiery self. 

As the man explained something to her, I saw anger crease her brows. 

“You’d shock him like that? You bastards!”

And with that, she was off. Cursing and spitting at them in every language she knew. I knew exactly what they had told her; the unit had been set to hold me. They’d planned on shocking me at a high enough voltage to keep me from breaking free. There was no doubt in my mind that they were still shocking her, just at a lower setting. 

Off to the side, I saw Steve being packed into a van with two other men. One of them I recognized. I’d fought him in D.C. The other man, I didn’t know. Judging by the way he was limping, he had definitely been involved in the fighting. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted movement. Startled, I whirled around and caught sight of an officer making his way towards the vans and trucks. When he didn’t change his path to attack me, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

That’s when I had an idea. 

“Psst! Hey!” I whispered to him in Romanian. The man turned and looked me over. I waved at him to come closer. “I know where he is. I can tell you.”

The man’s eyes lit up, likely thinking of the promotion he’d get if he was the one who led his superiors to the Winter Soldier.

He came over to me, not suspecting a thing. With a swift grab and a yank, I dragged him behind a dumpster. When I emerged, I’d traded clothes and pulled the visor of my new helmet down. 

There was no way I was letting these assholes take Milly away from me. 


	25. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi everyone

Sorry that I haven't been good at posting. Been going through some anxiety/depression type issues. 

Hope you all are doing well!


	26. Tell The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but I love this chapter sooo much!

*Steve*

“What are you going to do with her?” Sam asked as soon as he spotted the head of the operation. 

“You mean Barnes’ bitch?” Ross answered.

I felt a growl threaten to slip out. “Don’t call her that.”

Ross fixed his eyes on me. “She turns up at Barnes’ apartment, has been living with him since he came to Romania, and has beaten the shit out of my men. I’m pretty sure I can call her a bitch.”

“Sir,” Sharon said, obviously trying to get him back on track.

“To answer your question, Wilson, she’ll be interrogated. Then, we’ll perform a psychological evaluation, something that I think all of you need. I’m putting you in an office. Stay there, okay?”

Sam glared as one of the officers nudged at his shoulder. “I’m going! Lay off, man!”

“Steve, this is what I meant by ‘making it worse,’” Natasha chastised, appearing at my side. “Now Barnes is still on the loose and this poor girl is in custody.”

“No one's dead. I call that a win.” I snapped back. 

\----

“What is your name?” 

“Brena.”

The man scribbled on a paper. “Do you have a last name, Brena?”

“What? No, that's not my name. It’s Jessica.”

I received a glare. 

“Miss, is your name Jessica or is it Brena? I need to know.”

“My name is Sofia.”

He threw his pen down on the table in front of him and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Okay, We’ll skip the name for now. Can you tell me where Mr. Barnes went?”

I cocked my head and gave him my best confused look. “Who?”

“James Barnes. You were in his apartment and you had his journals. Clothes in your size were found at the apartment as well. We know you lived with him, Miss. Now please, just tell us where he’s heading.”

“How do you know the journals belong to a James Barnes? Those journals are my boyfriend’s. His name is Luca,” I quipped. “Some crazy dude broke into my apartment so I grabbed my stuff and tried to leave. That’s when a bunch of scary men showed up trying to kill me.”

“Miss, the handwriting in some of the journals match that of James Barnes. We know they are his.”

I shook my head. “I’m not convinced. How about you let me out and show me the comparisons. I’d love to see them.”

The man chuckled and shook his head. “You must think you are very funny.”

“I think I’m hilarious.”

He steepled his hands before him and looked me over, assessing me. Finally, he leaned forward. 

“Could you tell me about Luca? Has he been making you move around? Maybe he found you in America? Convinced you to come with him and he’s been changing your name at every place you go to?”

I gave him a genuinely confused look, furrowing my brows. “What?”

“Has he beat you? Or abused you in… other ways?”

That’s when it dawned on me; the man was trying to figure out if I had Stockholm Syndrome. He actually thought I’d been kidnapped by Bucky. 

I decided to keep playing dumb. That usually worked best for me. 

“I don’t understand why you’d ask that. Luca and I have known each other since we were children. Our families originated from Romania so we moved there together. He’s such a good guy. We’re going to write a book together, did you know that?”

“You’re writing a book?”

“Or is it a movie?”

He stood up, sending his chair skittering backwards. 

“You better start answering questions, girl, or life will get real hard for you. Do you understand me? Now, tell me the truth!” His loud voice echoed off the walls of the room, making my ears hurt. 

I gave a dejected sigh. 

“Fine. I’ll tell you the truth,” I said. “We’re writing a play.”


	27. Greatest Fear

*Steve*

“I think she might be more annoying than you, Tony,” Natasha said, watching the interrogation on the screen. Sam laughed to my right while Tony glared. 

“Shut it, Romanoff.”

While we waited for the psychologist to arrive to do the analysis of the girl, I started to question Tony.

“So where is everyone else? Have them locked up too?”

Tony shook his head. “I’m not a monster, Steve, give me some credit. Vision stayed behind in case Barnes came by and Wanda’s around here somewhere. She said something about getting a snack.”

I was startled by his words. “You brought Wanda?”

“Of course, I did. If I left her at home, people would think we were keeping her locked up or something. They’d be even more scared of her. I don’t care what anyone says, she’s just a kid. I may want us to sign the Accords, but I don’t agree with them about her being a weapon.”

I nodded, understanding his words. 

“Thanks, Tony, for taking care of her.”

He smiled. “Don’t mention it.”

Our attention was drawn back to the screen by a mousey man going into the room that housed the girl. His hair was a light brown color and his glasses were perched high on his nose. He shuffled further into the room and set his pile of books and files on the desk.

“Hello, how are you?” he asked the girl in an accented voice. 

She shrugged as best she could with her arms strapped down. “I’ve had better days.”

“So, what should I call you? You haven’t been very forthcoming with your name.”

The girl gave him a wicked, and slightly dangerous looking, smile. “What do you want to call me?”

“Could I call you Amelia?”

I noticed the corners of her lips harder and her eyes narrow slightly. “If you want. I’ll answer to just about anything.”

“Alright,” the man said, a triumphant grin on his face. “Would you tell me about your home, Amelia?”

“Oh, Luca and I have a small apartment in Bucharest. We moved there about…”

The lights cut out. The video feed went dead. Alarms sounded in the distance.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, sitting up straighter in his seat.

“If someone was trying to flush Barnes out by framing him,” Natasha said, her eyes hard. “He would have ended up here. That means whoever is after him is here too.”

“Rogers, get into that room. We’ll keep Ross off your back,” Tony snapped, springing into action. 

“Sam, come on,” I said, tugging my friends sleeve. The two of us sprinted out of the room like bats out of hell. 

\----

“No, Amelia, I don’t mean Romania. I mean Russia.” The doctor pulled a thin, red notebook from his pile of papers. 

A coldness swept through me. I knew exactly what that book was. It was used to trigger the Winter Soldiers.

Lucky for me, I was a spy, not a soldier.

“That won’t work on me, you piece of shit,” I spat. “You must be pretty bummed that Bucky didn’t get caught.”

The man, who I was starting to assume wasn’t a real psychiatrist, nodded.

“Yes, it’s unfortunate that Mr. Barnes escaped. But I do believe I have something in this little book for you too, Amelia. Or, should I call you Milly? That's what your friend calls you.”  
He flipped to one of the back pages and turned the book for me to see. In sloppy, scratchy handwriting were a list of words that I knew very well.

“How’d you get those?” I demanded, nearly snarling. 

“I met an old friend of yours. His name is Jeremiah. Do you remember him?” the man asked. “He had a lot to say about you, Milly. And about Mr. Barnes. Now, I need some information.”

“I don’t know where Bucky went,” I said, desperately. “I really don’t.”

“I believe you. But Jeremiah thinks that you may know what I want. I’ll give you a chance to be honest and forthcoming. If you don’t tell me what I need, I will use these words against you.”

I spat at the glass. “Go to hell, HYDRA scum.”

\----

The door to the containment unit was busted off it’s hinges. The glass was shattered out of the frame and lay in a broken mess on the floor. The doctor was lying on the floor, feigning injury. I picked him up and got in his face.

“Who are you?” I demanded. 

Before I got an answer, Sam went flying through the air and hit the wall beside me. I turned just in time to catch a foot to my jaw. Stumbling backwards, I released the man.

The girl stood before me, her eyes hard and her shoulders heaving as she breathed. Stalking forward, she snarled. 

I dodged her next attack, but missed the follow up kick to my sternum. I stumbled backwards through the doorway. With the air knocked out of me, I wasn’t prepared for the punch that came my way. I continued to back up, blocking her attacks. She was so small, I was scared to hurt her. 

As we moved closer to the elevator, she jumped into the air and brought her elbow down onto my shoulder, driving me to my knees. Planting her foot into my other shoulder, she boosted herself up and grabbed the grate from the air return above our heads. Ripping it down, she dropped it onto my head, leaving a slash just above my eyebrow. I fell flat on my back, taking her with me. Grabbing at her ankle, I tried to drag her down to the ground, but she danced out of my reach. Taking a running leap, she grabbed the lip of the open air vent and pulled herself up. I could hear her crawling through ducts above my head, her sharp knees striking the hard metal. 

Taking the stairs two at a time, I went up to the next floor. As I burst through the door, Natasha called out to me. 

“She’s down the hall attacking Tony!” 

The two of us took off at a dead sprint, following the sound of gunfire. I noticed one of the officers following us, still in his riot gear. Just as we came around the corner, we saw the girl level a gun at Tony’s head. Before she could pull the trigger, a red glow encased her hand. The gun fell into pieces, clattering to the ground. 

Snarling the girl turned on the newcomer, Wanda. They advanced on each other, their hair flying around their faces. Just before the girl struck out, Wanda’s hands came up, dancing. 

The girl’s face went slack, her arms falling to her side. Slowly, her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, her hands coming up to cover her ears. Wanda’s eyes were wide as she witnessed the nightmare she had released in the girl’s mind. 

The guard that’d followed Natasha and I pushed past us and rushed to the girl’s side. He ripped his helmet off and tossed it to the side. Pulling the girl into his lap, he rocked her gently, whispering in her ear. When she didn’t react, the man looked up at Wanda, glaring. 

“What have you done to her?”

My blood ran cold. I knew that voice.

It was Bucky.

\----

She was stiff in my arms as I held her close. Milly’s eyes were distant, unseeing, as she clutched at her ears, trying to block something out. 

“It’s okay, Mills. I’m here. It’s Bucky. You’re safe, doll.” 

I glared at the woman before me. I could tell by the look on her face that she was in a state of shock. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide, as though she was seeing something I couldn’t. The woman’s hands still had red sparks dancing around her fingertips as she took a small step backwards. 

“What have you done to her?”

Before the girl could answer, hands were on my shoulders, yanking me to my feet and dumping Milly to the floor. I was turned to face the man I had seen being put in the van with Steve and his friend. The man growled at me as he grabbed at my throat.

“T’Challa! Stop!” the nicely dressed man, Tony Stark, snapped. “Look at him, he looks nothing like the guy from the video footage. I mean, he has a full beard for Christ’s sake.”

The man grasping my throat, T’Challa, took ahold of my beard and tugged. When it didn’t fall free, he released me. He shuffled backwards, still eyeing me suspiciously.

“Go to your friend,” he said. “I will give you some time before I question you.”

The woman with glowing hands came to my side and reached out to touch my shoulder. I pulled away, baring my teeth at her. She pulled away.

“You’re friend will be alright,” she said, her voice accented. “I had to make her stop attacking, so I made her see her greatest fear. Its… I didn’t know how else to make her stop.”

“So she’s paralyzed with fear?” I asked.

The woman nodded. “I didn’t know how bad her vision would be. I’m truly sorry.”


	28. Knock Her Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot is picking up!

Tony came closer, eyeing me warily. 

“What's the kid seeing, Wanda?”

“She’s in a cage,” the woman, Wanda, explained. “But there's this horrible feeling of dread and pain, like she’s burning and numb at the same time. And there's someone screaming. And the screaming won’t stop.”

I sat down on the floor again, ignoring the guards who were pouring into the room, weapons drawn. I pulled Milly into my lap again and leaned her head against my chest. My fingers ran through her hair, trying to calm her down.

“How long will it last?” I asked.

Wanda shook her head. “It varies. I’m sorry.”

I looked back down at Milly and her scared eyes. She gave a small whimper and pressed closer to me. I felt someone crouch down next to me, making me shift away involuntarily. Glancing over, I saw it was Steve.

“Buck… do you remember me?’

I nodded. “Your mom’s name was Sarah.” I chuckled, thinking back to my time in Brooklyn with Steve. “You used to put newspapers in your shoes.”

Steve smiled at me, touching my shoulder.

I didn’t pull away.

“Captain Rogers,” a loud voice called. “I need you stand back. Everyone, stand back from Barnes.”

Steve’s face hardened as he looked at the speaker, a short, grey-haired man. 

“Bucky didn’t do anything.”

The man snorted. “We don’t have any proof of that.”

Suddenly, Milly screamed, grabbing ahold of the bullet-proof vest I was wearing. Her nails scratched across the surface before her fingers were able to find traction and snag some of the straps. 

“Stop!” she howled, tears streaming down her face. “Take me! Stop! Stop!”

Everyone shuffled nervously, looking at Milly like she was about to explode. I turned my attention to Wanda, seeking help. Wanda put her hands out, glowing red again. 

“She’s having a bad reaction,” she said, worry in her voice. “Like Banner did in Sokovia. We need to sedate her.”

Milly twisted and squirmed, a blind panic setting in. “Bucky!” Milly cried. “No, Bucky! No!”

The grey-haired man stormed forward and yanked Wanda back from Milly and I. 

“What is the girl seeing, tell me right now,” he demanded.

“What, you think she’s seeing Barnes kill someone? Think you can use that as evidence?” Tony bit out. “That won’t stand up in court, buddy.”

The man ignored Stark. He shook Wanda slightly and reiterated his order.

Wanda glared at the man.

“She’s seeing him be tortured. She sees him being shocked and beat. She’s begging them to take her instead.”

The man let her go and gestured to one of the nearby guards. “Go get something to knock her out before she hurts someone.”

I snarled at him. “None of you are touching her.”

“Then you knock her out, Barnes. Go ahead, punch her.”

I ignored him, instead pulling her closer to me. As gently as I could, I held her head still so I could whisper into her ear.

I didn’t want any of them to know how to control her.

I murmured a single word, one that would force any brainwashed HYDRA experiment to fall unconscious, “Sputnik.”

Milly went limp. Her hazel eyes fluttered shut and her breathing evened out. I smoothed her hair back from her face, dragging my thumb across her cheeks to wipe the tears away.

“Barnes, put the girl down and come with me,” the man said, making an attempt to sound kind and failing miserably. “My men can take her somewhere safe.”

“You’re not putting her in another box,” I snapped, pulling her closer.

“I’ll take her,” Steve cut in. “I can take her to a nurse or doctor or something. Make sure she isn’t hurt.”

I eyed Steve for a second, trying to be sure he was sincere. Giving him a nod, I let Steve take her from my arms. 

She looked so small, her arms dangling and her messy auburn hair waterfalling over Steve’s forearm. I didn’t take my eyes off her when someone started putting handcuffs on me. I just watched as Steve stood back, holding her as gently as I would. I refused to tear my gaze away until they dragged me out of the room.

\----

Gasping for air, I bolted up straight.

“Bucky!” I shrieked, the memory of my nightmare still creeping in my mind. 

“Hey, you have to calm down. Just lay back,” a kind voice said. A gentle hand touched my shoulder and guided me back. As my eyes adjusted to the bright lights, I was able to see a young woman beside me. 

Her hair was wavy and soft looking, her smile kind. She helped adjust the pillow beneath my head and pulled the blanket higher on my body. 

“Steve will be back in just a minute. He went to get some news about Barnes.”

I looked at her, confused. “Bucky’s here?”

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes, trying to remember what happened. Everything was foggy, but slowly, the memories became clear. My stomach tied itself into knots as I remembered attacking people, hurting Steve, and nearly punching the girl beside me. That’s when the nightmare started. But I couldn’t remember Bucky.

“I almost hurt you,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. And I am sorry for the vision I gave you.”

I nodded. “It’s cool. I sorta deserved it. I can't remember anything after I tried to punch you. What happened?”

The woman sat back, running her hands through her hair. “I triggered the nightmare and you collapsed. A man in an officer’s uniform ran to you and it turned out to be Barnes in disguise. You started to lash out, he said something to make you fall asleep, and then they separated you two. I believe they are questioning Barnes right now.”

I shook my head. “Gotta talk to them. I need to warn them.” I tried to struggle out of the bed.

“Wow, hey, not a good idea,” Steve said, coming back into the room. “You’re going to be groggy for a bit. Wanda’s visions can take a toll on the body.”

“Wanda?” I questioned.

“That’s me,” the woman said, giving me another kind smile.

“Milly. Nice to meet you both. Gotta go.” I tried again to get up, but Steve pushed me back down gently.

“Ross will lose his mind if you leave this room, kid.”

“Yeah, well, he’ll lose his mind if a group of enhanced, brainwashed soldiers gets released on the world, so best to get the yelling over with now.”

Wanda snorted. “I like the way you think,” she said.

I smiled at her. 

“What do you mean that soldiers are going to be released?” Steve questioned, catching the important information in my words.

I sighed, knowing I was going to have to tell this story more than once, and dreading it. 

“Alright, short version. Howard Stark was an asshole and went driving with a briefcase of super-soldier juice. HYDRA wanted it, so they had Bucky kill Stark and his wife, stage it to look like an accident, and steal the briefcase. They gave the serum to a group of deadly freaks with a pension for killing. Serum turned them insanely aggressive and cruel. They’re essentially for emergencies only now. They got put on ice up in Moscow. 

“The doctor that your shitty government sent to evaluate me was the one who set off the bomb. He wanted to get Bucky so that he could find this information out. He has a book filled with information of wiping and triggering all of HYDRA’s super soldiers. He got my trigger words from a guy I used to travel with, who is a soldier. He hates Bucky and probably wants all of us dead so I suggest we get moving to stop these jerks.”

Steve looked shocked. His mouth opened and closed a few times, like a fish out of water.

“How-”

“How’d I know all that? Well, because I’ve been tailing Bucky for a long time now. I was apart of a group of escaped HYDRA experiments. I was waiting for Bucky to make his escape so I could invite him to be apart of the group.”

“Why didn’t you just free him?” Wanda asked.

“You saw what happened when Steve tried to convince him that HYDRA were the bad guys. If I went and tried to get Bucky to leave with me before he broke the programming himself, he’d have killed me.”

“And you think your old friend and the fake doctor are going to wake up the soldiers?” Steve asked, his brow furrowing in concentration.

“That’s my guess,” I said. I raised my voice slightly, addressing the eavesdropper. “What do you think, Your Highness?”

Both Wanda and Steve turned to the door, surprised, as T’Challa came into the room fully.

“You are certain Barnes did not kill me father?” the man asked.

“Bucky was at home with me when it happened. I’m pretty sure.” I tapped the hickeys on my neck, waggling my eyebrows at T’Challa. He chuckled lightly. 

“I will help you stop these men from releasing the soldiers. We will bring them to justice and clear Barnes’ name,” T’Challa vowed. “Though, I believe you will need to tell Stark what you know about his family and Barnes. It wouldn’t be right to make a man unknowingly work with the man who killed his father.”

“Oh yeah, this is going to end well,” Steve grumbled, bowing his head. Sighing he gestured for me to get out of the bed. “Let’s go and see what we can do.”


	29. Death First

“Why did you set off the bomb?” 

“I didn’t.”

The grey-haired man, who’d introduced himself as Ross, sat back in his chair and rubbed at his face. Howard’s son stood in the corner along with the red haired woman, Natasha.

The containment unit they’d put me in was similar to the one Milly had been locked down in, though the electric currents running through my body were significantly higher than what they’d been blasting Milly with. 

I knew I could escape if I really wanted to. Sure, the electric shocks were painful and there were magnets built into the armrest to hold my arm down, but I’d been in worse situations. I could easily break out. 

“Alright, let’s pretend you didn’t set the bomb off. Why did your girlfriend make a break for it when the officers showed up. If you two are innocent, then why did she run?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering if he was really that dumb. 

“You know, I have no idea why she ran. I mean, an army of men in riot gear isn’t terrifying at all. And it’s super normal for a walking American flag to show up in your apartment and to be jumped by a cat man.”

Stark snorted. “He’s got you there, Ross. You guys could have been a bit kinder to the girl.” 

A knock at the door silenced us. Ross gestured for the guards to open the doors. As soon as the gap was large enough, Milly came sprinting into the room and straight up to the door of my prison.

“Mills,” I whispered, leaning forward. 

Her hazel eyes welled up with tears when she saw me. She pressed her hands to the glass and bit her lip, trying to hold in a sob.

“Buck, what have they done to you?”

I ducked my head, trying to hide the black eye and split lip. Some of the officers had decided to rough me up a bit as they arrested me. I knew if I fought back, it’d only make things worse. 

When I glanced back up to her, Milly’s eyes were hard. She turned on Ross, her stance predatory.

“Let him out. Now,” she demanded.

“Rogers, why the hell did you bring this girl in here?” the short man yelled. Steve came to Milly’s side and peered in at me, seeing me for the first time since my arrest.

“Why the hell did you guys beat an innocent man?”

“He’s not innocent.”

Milly roared, “Yes, he is! Now let him out before I break this shitty little box open!”

Ross glared at her. “Give me a reason to release him.”

“The doctor that spoke with the girl was the one who set off the bomb,” the Prince, T’Challa, said upon entering the room. “He is in cahoots with a man who was once a HYDRA soldier, like Barnes. He supplied the doctor with the trigger words for the girl.”

I saw one of Ross’ eyebrows arch. “You’re not a soldier?” he asked, addressing Milly.

“Spy,” she spat. “But I’m just as deadly as any Winter Soldier.”

“So there’s more than one Winter Soldier?” Stark cut in, pushing off from the wall and coming closer. Natasha trailed after him, eyeing Milly carefully.I shifted in my seat, not liking that look.

Milly nodded. “That’s what the doctor and Jer are after.”

“Jer?” Ross asked, looking for clarification. “Is that the soldier that turned over your trigger words?”

“Yeah, he’s a jerk,” Milly said, plowing on in stride. “The two are going after some extremely dangerous and highly unpredictable soldiers on ice in Moscow. We need to stop them from thawing these freaks.”

“And you expect me to just let all of you run off to Moscow? No, that’s not happening. At least not until all of you sign the Accords,” Ross growled, obviously not happy with Milly’s words.

“Bucky and I aren’t Avengers. We don’t have to do what you say.”

“You’re my prisoners, so yeah, you do.”

Stark cut in, trying to ease the tension. “How about those that have signed the Accords go? Those that haven’t can stay behind and work on brokering some sort of deal. How’s that?”

“Don’t be so hasty, Mr. Stark,” T’Challa said. I caught him eyeing me and felt my stomach drop. “There is more you need to know before you agree to going on this mission. Isn’t there, Barnes?”

\----

Milly glared at the king. “I was getting to that part, asshole.”

“What part?” Stark said, looking nervous. “What’s going on?”

Steve’s shoulders sagged. “I’ll tell him.”

“No, I will,” Milly said, putting her hand on Steve’s shoulder. She faced Stark head on, her body language open and nonthreatening. “Mr. Stark, do you know much about your father’s work with SHIELD?”

The man shook his head.

Milly continued. “Well, SHIELD wanted to create more super soldiers, like Steve. HYDRA, having infiltrated SHIELD, knew about this. They didn’t have full control of SHIELD yet, so they couldn’t get their hands on the experiments SHIELD created. Instead, they tried to mimic the results in their own labs. With no regards for the law, HYDRA had more successes. 

"Now, Howard Stark was helping in trying to create these soldiers with SHIELD. One night, he packed a briefcase of new serum and put it in his car. He figured he’d drop it off with a SHIELD agent and then take his wife out for a nice dinner.”

I could see Stark’s face start to fall. The man’s hands were shaking as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. Natasha reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Your parents were on a back road. Poorly lit and a bit dangerous. A man came up behind them on a motorcycle and ran them off the road. He… he killed your parents and took the serum. HYDRA, using connections in SHIELD and other government agencies, covered it up and called it an accident. They used the serum that your father created to make the strongest soldiers ever made. But they were unstable and aggressive. That’s why they are on ice in Moscow now.”

“Why are you telling me this? Trying to tell me my dad was HYDRA?” Stark snapped.

Milly shook her head. “No, I’m trying to give you all the information before you decide to help us. The man that caused the accident was a super soldier. He was brainwashed, and tortured. A prisoner of war, really. The longest in American history. Mr. Stark, that man was Bucky.”

The room went silent. You could have heard a pin drop, it was so quiet.

“Tony, we understand if you don’t want to come-” Steve started,  but was cut off.

“Did you know?” Tony said, his voice low and dangerous.

Natasha squeezed Stark’s hand again. “Steve and I had our suspicions that HYDRA could have been involved with your parents death, but there was no way to know it was Barnes.”

Stark yanked his hand away from her. A look of disgust marred his face as he stared at her. He fiddled with his watch, releasing a red and gold metal glove. It enclosed his hand, which he then turned on me.

Milly stepped in the way, placing her body in the line of fire. 

All around the room, guns went up. Ross had one hand at his hip, hovering over his gun, while the other was outstretched, trying to calm people.

“Let’s not act rashly, Stark.”

“Move, kid. I don’t want to hit you,” Stark said, looking at Milly. I shifted in my seat, ready to break out and defend her. I knew that as soon as I ripped the chair apart, that people would start shooting. 

I needed to wait for the right moment.

“You might as well kill me,” Milly said. Her voice was even and cool, though with a touch of sorrow. “Think of the things I’ve done, Mr. Stark. I’ve tortured people. Killed people. Stole information and fed it back to HYDRA. If I had still been under HYDRA control, they very well could have sent me; I could have been the one to kill your parents.”

“Seriously, I don’t want to shoot you, but I will,” Stark threatened.

“Milly, move!” I yelled, struggling a little harder. I could hear the metal groan. “Please.”

“Tony, it wasn’t him! He was brainwashed,” Steve snapped, making as though to stand next to Milly. She put her hand out, gesturing for him to stay back.

“I don’t care,” Tony said, eyes still trained over Milly’s shoulder and at me. “He killed my mom. Now, one last chance, kid. Get out of the way.”

“Don’t be stupid, girl! Leave him!” Ross yelled, drawing his weapon. 

“Death first!” Milly screamed, holding her ground. 

A whirring noise started up from the glove as a light began to glow. I ripped at the clamps holding me down, desperately trying to get out from behind Milly. Without warning, Natasha stepped in front of Stark. She took his hand and leveled it at her chest.

“I killed people, Tony. Good people. SHIELD agents. If you’re going to kill these two for what they did when under someone else’s control, then you might as well kill me too. After you finish us off, you can go and shoot Clint; he killed people while brainwashed by Loki.”

The red haired woman stared him down, not blinking once. It took a moment, but Stark finally lowered his hand.

“Fine. Fine! I won’t kill him,” Stark grumbled, letting the glove collapse back into his watch. “Doesn’t mean I won’t punch him.”

“You’ll need to get in line,” Milly said, laughing slightly. “I get to deck him first.”

Stark smiled wryly.

“Can we let Bucky out now?” Steve asked. “I mean, he’s already broken the chair.”

I ducked my head, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry.”


	30. Not Our Day

As soon as the door of the containment unit slid open, I flew into Bucky’s arms. I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and burying my face in his neck. His arms came down around my waist, keeping me suspended off the ground. 

Once my feet were back on the ground, I hauled off and punched his shoulder. Bucky yelped in surprise and shied away.

“That’s for sneaking after me in disguise, you dumb ass.”

“I was coming to save you!” he cried, indignantly.

“At least wait until I’ve been processed or something! Jeez!” And with that, I pressed my lips to his, not caring that blood ran from the cut on his lip.

“Alright, love birds, let's go. We still need some more information,” Ross said, coming up and taking ahold of my arm to lead me away.

Bucky gave a low growl, pulling me back towards him. “She can walk without your help,” he snapped.

They moved everyone to a large conference. I stayed glued to Bucky’s side, eyeing everyone suspiciously. I wasn’t going to let them take Bucky away from me again. As people started to get settled in the room, Tony Stark came marching up to Bucky and socked him in the face.

Bucky stumbled backwards holding onto his jaw. As Tony continued to advance, I stepped between the two men and pressed my hands flat to Tony’s chest.

“I think once is enough, at least for today. I mean, look at him. He’s been beaten plenty today.”

Tony glared over my shoulder and pointed a threatening finger at Bucky. “Once this is all over, we can settle this. I haven’t made up my mind about you. 

I took Bucky’s hand and the two of us waited until Tony sat down before we found seats as far from him as possible. Steve took Bucky’s other side while Wanda took mine. She gave my knee a reassuring squeeze before folding her hands in her lap. 

“Alright, I need some basic information about Barnes and the girl, and then we can start talking about the soldiers,” Ross said, settling in at the head of the table.

“I really think the soldiers should take precedence,” I piped up.

Ross sighed, looking beaten down. “Can any of you please just let me do my job? Please?”

“James Buchanan Barnes. I go by Bucky,” my friend said from beside me. “Joined the army during World War II, was captured by HYDRA, where I was experimented on. Steve saved me and we fought side by side until I fell off a train. Lost my arm and was picked up by the Russians. They spent 20 years brainwashing and torturing me. Once they broke me, they had me work as an assassin and as a soldier. In DC, Steve was able to break through the programming and I escaped. Milly found me and took me to her friends, other escaped HYDRA experiments. One of them, Jer, turned out to be psychopath who killed HYDRA agents and experiments in his free time. He killed one of Milly’ friends and tried to kill us so we left. Traveled for a bit and then settled in Bucharest. We worked as many jobs as we could and lived quietly up until you guys burst into our apartment.”

“Great, thanks for the info,” Ross said, scribbling notes onto a piece of scrap paper. “And you, Milly?”

“Amelia Crest. I go by Milly. Dad left during the depression to find work. Mom and I did what we could to make ends meet. I got kidnapped by HYDRA,” I explained, feeling nervous with so many people hearing my past. I hated sharing with strangers. “I was pretty young and scared. Wasn’t too hard to break me. Eventually I broke my programming and killed my handler. Met my friend, Dimitri, and he helped me fake my death. We found a lodge and lived there with others like us. We heard about Bucky, so I decided to go out and tail him. Once he broke the programming, I asked him to join me. The rest is history.”

Ross nodded. “And how long have you two been in a sexual relationship?”

Bucky made a choking noise while I started to laugh. Everyone seemed taken aback by our reactions.

“Less than 24 hours,” Bucky eventually said, avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

I continued to howl with laughter, my cheeks starting to hurt. “You’re fucking face, Buck!”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, the corner of his lips turning up.

Some of the others joined in my laughter. 

“Damn, you two have the worst luck,” one of the men said. I believe I heard somebody call him Sam. “You two get it on and then a few hours later, get arrested. What are the odds?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time Bucky got arrested a few hours after sleeping with a girl,” Steve said, grinning widely. 

“Shut it, Rogers!”

“Oh no, please go on,” I said, leaning forward to see Steve better. “Who was she? She still alive? Should I be concerned about Bucky running back to her?”

“Hey!” Ross yelled. “Can you act like adults for a few more minutes?”

“Ross, seriously, just send us to go get these guys so we can be done. Crest and Barnes are innocent of the bombing, so release them,” Steve insisted, getting back to business.

“They’ve killed people. They need to face justice.”

“Did Hawkeye or the Black Widow?” I asked, my voice harsher than I intended. “Has Stark been punished for making Ultron? Has Thor been punished for his past crimes? You damn well know he’s killed people in battle.”

“That was different,” Ross insisted. “If you all sign the accords, we can move on. New York was nearly destroyed, as was Sokovia, DC, and every other place the Avengers visited.”

“Oh, New York, the time that aliens attacked, something the Avengers can’t control, and then the government tried to nuke New York? Which would have killed everyone?” I cut in again, anger rising up in me. “Or when an AI went crazy, recruited some poor, lost kids, and then tried to destroy the Earth? And then there’s DC, when SHIELD had let HYDRA survive and grow inside them and tried to snipe millions of people. Yeah, the Avengers are definitely to blame.”

“Interesting how two of those events involve the American government,” T’Challa said, eyeing Ross. 

“Yeah, and now they want to have control over the Avengers,” Steve said, seeing where this was going. “If we hadn’t been a third party group, separate from the government's control, think of how many people would be dead right now.”

Ross huffed. “Stark, talk some sense into these people.”

Tony shook his head, eyes fixed on a spot on the table as he thought. “I think they have a point. I… I think I was wrong. HYDRA was in the government. HYDRA killed my family. That means the government killed my family.” Tony looked up, locking eyes with Ross. “I’m out of the Accords. You can scratch my name out.”

“Stark!”

“I’m out too,” Natasha said. She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms defiantly. 

“As am I,” T’Challa chimed in.

“You can call Vision and ask him, but I bet he’s out too,” Stark said, standing up. “We’ll be handling this ourselves.”

Ross shook his head. “I can’t let you do that. The Accords have been approved. If any of you go to fight without our permission, we are allowed to arrest you. Now, seeing as none of you can be trusted, we will be sending our own task force. You’ll all be staying here.”

“You’ll be slaughtered!” Bucky cried. 

“These people are dangerous,” I urged. “We are going.”

Ross snapped his fingers and gestured to us. “Take them away. You know where.”

Guards came up and began grabbing at everyone’s arms, pulling them from their seats. More officers came into the room, carrying specially designed handcuffs for the strongest of us. One carried a collar, which he tried to hook around Wanda’s neck. I kicked out at him, pulling his attention away from her. With a twitch of her wrist, the collar went flying across the room and out the window, sending a rain of glass down over Ross.

“Go!” I told her as more guards came to restrain me. I struggled against their grips but as they clamped the handcuffs onto my wrists, an electric current ran through my body, causing me to seize up and collapse to the ground.

The pain was so great. I shook violently, my eyes shut tightly and a scream was wrenched from my mouth. I could hear Bucky yelling, but he sounded muffled and far away. It seemed as though I laid on the floor for an eternity as the pain radiated throughout my body.

The cuffs were ripped from my wrists. I sucked in a deep breath, gasping for air. The lack of pain was euphoric. I groaned, low in the back of my throat. A gently hand brushed across my forehead pushing my hair out of my face.

“Milly? Can you hear me?”

“Bucky?” I rasped, my throat sore.

“She’s alright,” I heard Wanda say.

Bucky helped me to my feet. I looked around the room, surprised by the damage. The guards were thrown about the room, as were the chairs. The table had been broken straight down the middle and the glass in all the windows had been shattered. 

“What happened?” I asked.

“Well, Tony sent a sound wave through the room, which broke all the glass,” Steve explained. “Stunned the guards a bit. Wanda did the rest.”

I leaned heavily against Bucky. “Today is just not our day.”


	31. Get Left Behind

“Great, now we’re all fugitives,” Stark grumbled, leading the way to his private jet. “I’m blaming Steve.”

“Why are you blaming me?”

“I don’t know, it just feels right.”

I kept one arm wrapped around Milly’s side, keeping her close to me. She stumbled slightly as we made our way up the steps of the jet. I sat her down in one of the chairs, letting her relax into the plush seat. Once Steve was on board, the two of us locked eyes. 

I noticed a glisten in his blue eyes and felt tears burning in mine. Lunging forward, we wrapped our arms around each other. We buried our faces into each other’s shoulders and grabbed handfuls of each other’s shirts. I could feel his shoulders shake against me.

“I’m so glad your okay, Buck,” Steve mumbled.

“And I’m glad you aren’t dead, you punk.”

Sam pushed past us, patting at Steve’s shoulder. “Yeah, we’re all glad to be alive. Can we save the reunion for later?”

“Where’s T’Challa?” Natasha asked, filing in next.

“He’s taking his own plane. Said he’d follow us towards Moscow,” Wanda supplied. “Did you get the boys’ suits?”

Natasha nodded. 

The jet started to roll down the runway. We all strapped ourselves into seats, getting ready for the take off. As the nose of the jet lifted off the ground, there was a bang and the plane spun out. Metal crunched and flames roared. When things finally settled, I blinking repeatedly, trying to see anything through the smoke. 

“Milly? Steve?”

“Bucky?” I heard Milly call, coughing. 

Stark stormed past me, done up in one of his metal suits. “Those bastards shot my fucking plane!”

We moved through the wreckage carefully, helping each other get free. I found Milly in the same seat I had put her in. With the way the jet was now tilted, she was nearly falling out of the chair. The seat belt was the only thing keeping her in. The drop was steep, enough to give Milly pause.

I stood below her put my arms out. “I’ll catch you, come on.”

Her shaking hands fiddled with the buckle until it released, sending her down into my embrace. As we moved towards the door, we found Steve helping Wanda out of her seat.

“What the hell happened?” Milly asked, wiping at her soot covered face.

“Ross shot out the tail end of the plane. Looks like we’re in for a fight.”

Natasha strode out of the back of the plane, seemingly unfazed by the change of events. In her arms, she carried Steve’s shield.

“Wilson’s already got his wings. Steve, take this. Bucky, Milly, want some guns?”

Milly brightened up at that. “That would be nice.”

Natasha opened a bag she had hanging from her shoulder and passed each of us a handgun and a few extra clips.

“Don’t be stupid,” she warned us. “We need to get to T’Challa’s jet. That thing is made of vibranium. I’d love to see Ross try and shoot it down.”

With that, we were out of the plane and off to war.

\----

Bucky and I stayed close to each other. Steve did as well, though he tended to wander some. 

The officers we were up against weren’t the government's best and brightest. Honestly, I tried to avoid killing any of them. They were following orders, after all. Though, I made a point to rough up the ones who were overzealous.

A bullet whizzed past me, barely missing my shoulder. Snarling, I turned and took aim. When I pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Out of ammo, I tossed the gun away and charged at the nearest man. Startled by my sudden assault, he fumbled the gun. 

Striking out at me with the stock, I dodged beneath and came up under him with an upcut. I grabbed the barrel of his gun, keeping it pointed up and away. Slamming my elbow into his arm, I heard a  _ crack _ and he fell back, screaming. 

Turning my new weapon on the man firing upon Bucky, I shot out his legs and moved back to my lover’s side.

“Thanks, doll!” he shouted over the din. 

Stumbling up, Wanda was beside me, holding up a shield of energy. 

“Get Barnes to T’Challa’s jet! They’ll need you guys. Go!”

“What about you?” I asked, firing at the man that was attacking her.

She shook her head. “Some of us are going to be left behind. Just go!”

I didn’t stick around to argue. Taking Bucky’s hand, I rushed us away from the fight. I could see Steve following behind, using his shield to block the bullets that rained down after us. Bucky pushed me on ahead, helping Steve to hold off Ross’ men. 

“Bucky! Steve! Come on!” I yelled from the steps of the black jet. 

The two danced around one another. As I watched, I realized they were back to fighting as they used. I was reminded of the old World War II reels I’d seen of them. They bobbed and weaved, watching each other’s blind spots. One look, and the other was moving. I felt a twinge of jealousy, but quickly squashed it. 

A bullet skimmed across Steve’s shoulder, causing him to cry out. Wanda and Sam swept in, attacking the men and shielding Steve and Bucky. 

“Go!” Sam yelled. “We’ll hold them off! Stark said he’d be right behind you!”

The boys nodded, silently thanking their friends, and bolted to the plane. Once strapped in, we were off. 

“Where’s T’Challa?” I asked, not seeing him. 

“Piloting, I think,” Steve said. “He’ll need coordinates for where we are going.”

“I’ll tell him,” Bucky offered, heading towards the cockpit. 

Steve kept his hand pressed to his shoulder, looking slightly pale. I got up and found a first aid kit.

“You’ll need to take your top off,” I told him, flipping the lid off the kit open.

Steve looked me over, a curious glint in his eye. “You look worse off than me, kid. I think you need medical attention more than me.”

“I’ve had worse. Now, come on. I need to know if I have to stitch you up.”

“I see why you and Bucky get along,” Steve chuckled. “You’re both bossy.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, I do make a Stucky joke, but please don't get upset, I ship Stucky hardcore. This story just doesn't have it. I'm sorry if I upset anyone!

I came back from the cockpit to find Steve shirtless and grimacing as Milly stabbed him with a needle.

“Stop whining, you big baby,” Milly snarked.

A flash of a memory flitted through my mind. Steve sitting in his apartment while his Ma stitched up a cut on his shoulder. Some of the older kids at school had jumped him on the way home, roughing him up a bit. He was going to be fine physically, but he’d taken a blow emotionally.

“ _ I’m too small! I’m so dumb. I should’ve just run. _ ”

His mother scolded him after that. “ _ You never back down, Steve. You always get back up. If you stay down, they’ll think they’re above you and better than you. And you and I both know that they aren’t. _ ”

After that, I started to teach him to fight. I’d also taken to checking down every alley I pass looking for Steve, praying that I wouldn’t find him, that maybe he didn’t get into a fight, but also hoping that I would find him so I could keep him safe.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve said, bringing me back to the present. 

I blinked a few times, clearing my mind. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. Then a devious idea sprung to mind. Hiding my smile, I furrowed my brow and glared at Steve. “But I am wondering why you're making moves on my girl.”

Steve looked vaguely confused, and slightly scared. “What are you-” he started. Milly cut him off, seeing what I was doing. 

“I’m running away with him, Bucky. I can’t hide the secret anymore!” she wailed, flinging her arms around Steve’s neck and draping herself across his lap. Steve hands went up and away from her body. He looked at me desperately for help.

“I’ve been using you all this time to get to him!” she continued, giving me a small wink. “Just look at him! He’s the perfect man, hand crafted by God himself!”

“Damn it, Milly! You make me fall in love with you and then you run off with my ex-boyfriend. How could you?”

Steve looked back and forth between us, panicking. “I… I’m not interested in Milly. I mean, I’m flattered but… but… Bucky, we didn’t date? I don’t understand.”

Finally, I broke. Snorting, I tossed myself into a chair and grinned wickedly at Steve. Milly cackled as she straightened herself back up and went back to stitching Steve’s shoulder.

“Stevie, we’re messing with you,” I said.

Though he was frowning, Steve relaxed. “You do realize we’re trying to save the world right now. Don’t think right now is the time for jokes.”

“The end of the world is the perfect time for jokes,” Milly countered. “Its when you need to laugh the most.” With one more loop of the thread, she’d finished stitching Steve’s wound. Milly plastered a gauze over it and then stood up to wash her hands. 

“Try to keep it clean, alright?”

Steve nodded, moving to put his shirt back on. 

“Hey Milly,” I said, catching her attention. “I think you should stay on the plane when we land in Moscow.”

She cocked her head, a dangerous glint in her eye. “Do you? Well, I think I’ll be coming with you.”

“He has a point,” Steve said. “You don’t have any protective gear on. And these people are dangerous.”

Milly scowled at me. “I’m probably the only one Jer won’t kill on sight. I mean, he’ll want me dead, but not enough that he’ll shoot before talking. You need me there.”

“If those soldiers are off ice, they’ll be gunning for all of us. They won’t care.”

Without warning, Milly stormed up to the cockpit, yelling the whole way.

“T’Challa! Do you have any gear on this plane that’ll fit me?”

I jumped up, following after her. “T’Challa, do not give her anything. She’s staying here.”

The man looked at us, confused. “I’m busy flying the jet. Can this wait?”

“You’ve got some sort of suit or something on here that’ll fit me, right?” Milly insisted.

T’Challa nodded. “Yes, my bodyguards will have left behind something. Feel free to use any of it.”

I held onto Milly, not letting her go get changed just yet. “Don’t you think she should stay here? That she’ll be safer?”

T’Challa looked at me like I was stupid. “The woman is a marvelous warrior. We will need her.”

“Suck it, Barnes!” Milly crowed, sprinting away.

\----

The landing in Moscow was bumpy, but that’s what happens when you don’t use a runway. The ground was slick and icy, making the wheels skip and bump across the surface. When we finally rolled to a stop, Bucky and Milly went out first, insisting that it was better that they got shot instead of T’Challa or I.

“He’s a Prince and you’re a national icon. We’ll go out first,” Milly had said, checking over her gun one last time.

The two padded through the snow, barely making a sound. The almost seemed to float, they moved so smoothly. Once they were sure that no one was outside, they gestured for us to follow. 

“I see these two,” T’Challa said, moving silently beside me in his suit, “And I can’t help but wonder how Ross caught them. They are terrifying.”

I snorted. “He caught them by surprise. Doubt that’ll happen again.”

“Do you think they’ll stay? Or that they’ll go into hiding again?”

I felt a pit form in my stomach, weighing me down. I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of Bucky leaving me again. It wouldn’t happen if I had something to say about it. 

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” I said. 

“Looks like they’re already inside,” Milly said, gesturing to some abandoned snowmobiles. “Let’s get in there and break up the party.”

Bucky and Milly kept an eye out while T’Challa and I forced the door open. It took some struggling, but eventually we had it open. Walking backwards, the two sharpshooters followed us in. 

As we moved down the halls, keeping our eyes peeled, we heard a clanging metal noise behind us. I dropped low, holding my shield up. Bucky moved behind me, aiming over my head towards the door. T’Challa crouched on one side of me, claw extended and eyes pressed into slights. I felt Milly on my other side, kneeling close to me and holding her gun just over the top of my shield. The four of us waited, ready to fight whatever came through the doors. 

With a crunching, grinding noise the metal doors slid apart and revealed Tony, decked out in his suit.

“Thanks for waiting up, assholes,” he grumbled, his voice slightly warped as it filtered through the speakers. 

“Sorry, Tony. Figured you’d catch up,” I said, standing up. I saw T’Challa relax out of the corner of my eye, but Bucky and Milly kept their guns trained on him.

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we’re on the same side. Enough of the super spy shit.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Smith?” Bucky repeated, obviously confused.

Milly answered him. “It's a movie, don’t worry about it.” She turned her attention on Tony. “You aren’t going to shoot Bucky in the back, right? I’d really hate to have to kill you.”

“I swear, I won’t shoot your boyfriend. Happy?”

She looked him over once, and then nodded.

“We need to get moving.” T’Challa reminded us. 

And with that, we fell into step. I took up the lead, shield up and at the ready. Bucky was just behind me, gun aimed just past me. T’Challa was next, followed by Tony. Milly took up the rear, walking backwards and keeping a lookout for anyone who might sneak up on us. 

We entered into the main room, an old rocket terminal. Spread around the room were cryo pods, lit up and puffing clouds from their vents. A couple of the pods had bullet holes blasted through them, straight into the chests of those within. Their faces were relaxed and peaceful as blood oozed down their fronts, slowed by the cold.

The other pods were open and empty.

A scuffle in the corner caught our attention. Looking over, we saw a tall, well built man restraining the false doctor that had spoken with Milly.

“Jer!” Milly yelled, aiming her gun at the man. “Let him go! Now!”

The man looked up, his eyes wild. “Milly, you’ve finally come.”


	33. One of The Bad Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this chapter makes me so sad!

“Come on, Jeremiah. You don’t need to do this,” I said, hoping he’d listen. We needed one of these assholes alive to prove Bucky’s innocence and I knew Jer wouldn’t come easily.

Jer gave a cruel laugh. “Do you know what this man wants to do? He wants to kill all of us, Milly. Little Zemo here blames HYDRA, SHIELD, the Avengers, everybody for what happened to his family.” Jer turned his attention back to the scared man. “He’d kill the good ones, like you and me. After Dimitri… I couldn’t let that happen. The good ones have to stay alive.”

With a sudden jerk, Jer snapped Zemo’s neck. The crack of the bone was sickening, as was the way the body twitched, and then fell limp. 

I heard a sharp intake of breath from somewhere nearby, but I wasn’t sure who it’d come from.

“Is that why you’re here, Jer?” I asked. Trying to keep my voice low and my movements slow, I stepped forward, out of the group of men I had arrived with. “Are you trying to free the soldiers here? Or are you trying to kill them?”

“They could be good, Milly. Look at you and me. We killed people,” he reminded me, pushing Zemo’s body away with his foot. “I let Jaylah choose which ones she thought should live.”

My blood ran cold at his words. “Jaylah? She’s here?”

Jer gave me a wicked grin. “Oh, yes. I caught up with Kris and Jaylah a couple months after you all abandoned me. Found them hiding out in France. I killed Kris. Had to, no way around it. She betrayed me and she’d do it again. But I couldn’t bring myself to hurt Jaylah. She’s such a… fiery child. I knew she could help me. All I had to do was offer to let her play with the damn wolf we found in Canada and she was in.”

A lump caught in my throat at his words. “Kris… is dead?”

Jer shrugged. “Sacrifices had to be made. Would you like to see Jaylah?”

I nodded, fighting the tears back from rolling down my cheeks. 

He gave a loud whistle. It echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls and piercing my ears. From one of the side halls, Jaylah trotted out, the damn ugly wolf trailing behind her. I noticed a handgun bouncing against her hip as she walked. A noise to my right caught my attention. I glanced over and spotted one of the soldiers, a woman, stepping from the shadows, her hands curled into fists. To my left, two men stepped out, knives in hand.

“Milly…” Bucky said behind me. I could hear worry and warning in his voice. Jer snapped his head around to look at Bucky, looking as though this was the first time he noticed any of the other men there.

“Oh, I see you brought your boyfriend. Figured you’d have killed him by now.”

I ignored his words, instead choosing to focus on Jaylah.

“Hi honey,” I said, lowering my gun. “Are you okay?”

“Look, Milly! I have my doggy!” she cried excitedly, patting the wolf’s head with one hand and holding the heavy chain leash in the other. The wolf looked rough. It had new scars and a look in its eyes that said it was tired and broken. 

“Yeah, I know. Jaylah, could you come here please?”

She shook her head, a pouty look on her face. “Jer said you’re bad. You’re one of the bad ones now.”

“I feel like we just stepped into a twisted, sci-fi version of Game of Thrones,” I heard Tony grumble. 

“Can we get rid of the peanut gallery?” Jer snapped to the other soldiers. They began to advance, eye trained on the boys. “And Jaylah, sweetheart, I think it’s time to say goodbye to Milly, don’t you?”

Jaylah pulled the gun from her side and pointed at me, seemingly unfazed. The soldiers moved in, choosing their targets. Bucky was at my side in no time, aiming his weapon right back at Jaylah.

“Put the gun down, kid. Now,” he said, his voice steely.

“Bucky, she’s a kid,” I hissed. 

He didn’t look at me. “A kid with a gun.”

Jaylah dropped the chain holding the wolf, using both of her hands so as to aim better. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, the wolf snarled and leapt on her, sinking its yellowed teeth into the junction of her throat and her shoulder. 

And with that, everyone was fighting. One man was attacking T’Challa, the other was after Steve. The woman made a beeline for Tony, trying to grab and rip the plates from his body.

Seeing Jaylah crumple beneath the weight of the wolf sent me into a frenzy. 

Howling desperately, I fired on the wolf, striking its side. The creature bit harder, shaking the small girl like a rag doll. I ran forward to pry it off of her, but was stopped by Jer.

He slammed into my side, sending me flying across the floor. Bucky was on him in a heartbeat, punching and kicking. Both men seemed to forget about their weapons as they began to brawl. 

Scrambling through the warm blood, I made it to Jaylah. I pressed the barrel of the gun to the wolf’s head and fired. The poor beast collapsed, lifeless.

Shoving it away, I pulled Jaylah into my lap. I pressed at the wound, crooning to her.

“It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Jaylah looked up at me, confused. “But, you’re the bad one,” she gurgled. The girl’s eyes faded, becoming unseeing. Her body slackened and fell limp.

Sobbing, I clutched her closer, giving me a moment to mourn. As I became more aware of the world around me, I could hear the clatter of battle, the cries of pain, and the struggles of my comrades.

I felt my heart harden as I made up my mind.


	34. Do You Still Want Me?

The wolf leapt and bit the little girl, Jaylah. The same one who’d been so kind to me when we met in the lodge. The same one who had just been holding a gun to the one I loved most dearly.

Milly screamed, running forward towards the child. Jer was already moving, though. He crashed into her. She fell to the ground, skittering away from him. Jer started to advance on Milly, but there was no way in hell I would let him get near her again. 

I sprinted in, ignoring everything else around me, as I let my fist connect with his jaw.

Hissing at me, sending spit flying, Jer attacked. His blows were hard and strong, though I had gotten stronger since the last time we fought. Jer’s foot connected with my gut knocking the air from my lungs and causing  me to drop my gun.

_ Forgot I had that, _ I thought.

I stomped down on Jers foot, keeping him from stepping back, as I grabbed the back of his head with my flesh hand. Using my metal arm, I swung my elbow around and drove it into his face. I felt the satisfying feeling of cartilage being crushed as his nose gave way. 

“Everyone stop!” I heard a voice, a female voice, screech.

“Halt!” Jer snapped, causing his soldiers to freeze. “Milly, what are you doing?”

I turned and saw she had Jaylah’s gun cocked and ready to fire, though it wasn’t aimed at one of our enemies, it was aimed at herself. The barrel was pressed into her temple, nudging her hair away from her face. Tears streamed in rivers down her cheeks from her red rimmed eyes.

“Do you still want me, Jer?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly. 

I saw him lick his lips out of the corner of my eye, turning my stomach.  A bitter taste plagued my mouth as I held back the urge to vomit, knowing what she was planning.

“Milly, don’t-” I started. She pressed the gun harder against her head, making my breath catch in my throat. 

“Jer, answer the question.”

“Yes, I want you. I need your help, Mills,” he hissed, his voice toxic. I gritted my teeth as he used the nickname I had been calling her. “We can eradicate the last of HYDRA. Together!”

She nodded and I caught the sound of sniffle just before she spoke. “You let them go. You let all of them go.”

Jer looked taken aback. “But Milly-”

“No!” she screamed. Milly’s voice was demanding and strong, though boarding on hysteric. “You leave all of them alone. Any superhero. And you stop killing experiments that aren’t dangerous, understood?”

“And if I agree, you’ll come quietly?”

Milly hesitated, then nodded. 

Jer gave her a wicked smile. Something passed between the two of them, a hidden message. I felt a pang of jealousy at their ability to communicate without words, just as Steve and I could.

That only came with years of closeness. 

Jer pulled a gun from his belt and she pulled her gun from her head. They took aim and fired on the other soldiers, shooting them dead. The three dropped like flies, confused looks on their faces. 

Moving at high speeds, both Jer and Milly turned their guns on each other. 

“So we’re in agreement? We let the good little freaks live, we kill HYDRA and the bad ones. I let your boyfriend and his boy band live. You come with me and I have you.” His words were like oil, they were so slick and slimy. “I have you in every way I want.”

“Yes.”

They eyed each other one last time and dropped their guns to their sides.

“I’d take a few steps back, Barnes,” Jer warned me, not taking his eyes off Milly. 

Once I had moved back to Steve’s side, Milly and Jer tossed their weapons aside. She walked across the room, her back straight and her eyes staring ahead. Steve kept a firm grip on my shoulder, keeping me from sprinting forward.

“Are we actually letting her do this?” Tony asked in hushed tones.

“I don’t know if we have much of a choice,” Steve replied, his voice hollow. 

Jer was becoming impatient, I saw it on his face. Eventually, he moved forward, striding across the floor with his long legs. He took ahold of Milly’s elbow, yanking her to him. With his other hand, he grabbed the back of her head, keeping her from pulling away, and shoved his lips to hers. It was a sloppy, one-sided kiss. His tongue was on her mouth, leaving a trail of spit and blood across her face. She pressed her lips tight and thin, trying to avoid him. Steve tightened his hold on me as I flinched at the sight.

When Jer pulled away, he let his hands travel down her side to grip her hips. I saw her grimace as he dug his fingers into her flesh. He smiled a toothy grin. “We have long lives ahead of us, love.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Milly spat. She reared her head back and flung it forward, connecting with his already broken and bloody nose. Using a quick grapple and throw, she had Jer sprawled out on the ground before her. Dropping down, she straddled his waist and pinned his arms to his side with her knees. Milly reached out and grabbed up the gun I had lost earlier. 

I thought she was just going to shoot him, but what she did instead shocked me. 

She rammed the stock of the gun into his face with a feral scream. She pulled back and did it again. And again. And again. Her throat gave out after a moment, the strain and stress leaving her horse. We were left with the sound of breaking bone, squelching flesh, and strangled sobs. 

Milly lost her vigor after a minute of beating him. Her swings were weak and misaimed. She’d bowed her head, not even looking at her, now dead, target. I crept forward, being as careful as I could. Gently, I took ahold of the gun and pulled it away; she didn’t even resist.

Wrapping my arms around her middle, I hefted her off of the body and onto the ground beside it. As she buried her face into my chest, clutching at me for comfort, blood smeared across my front, leaving me sticky and red.

“Shh, it’s alright. You’re okay,” I whispered. I lead her towards the other men, essentially carrying her as her feet dragged across the ground. “You did the right thing.”

“We can’t clear your name,” she croaked out between the sobs. “They’re all dead.”

“They may be dead, but I recorded everything,” Tony said, his voice kinder than I’d ever heard it before. “My suit videotapes everything. I was pointed at him the whole time he was talking. We have enough to clear Barnes.”

“Doesn’t mean any of us should go back to the US, though,” Steve said.

T’Challa nodded. “You are all fugitives from your government. Luckily, Wakanda doesn’t have any agreements with America about harboring fugitives. Even if we did, we wouldn’t abide by them any longer. We will recover all of your friends and bring them to my home. We will all be safe there, I swear it.”

“There goes my plans to expand Stark Industries,” Tony grumbled, pulling a laugh out of Milly.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?” she scolded.

Steve smiled. “What's that you said about making jokes? The best time is when the world is coming to an end. That’s when you need to laugh the most.”

“And right now, our world has ended,” I said, running a hand over her back. “But we’re going to rebuild. We’ve done it before. We can do it again.”

\----

“How long have they been asleep?” Natasha asked, stepping into the lab.

“A couple weeks. They went under as soon as we arrived in Wakanda. They told us to figure out how to cure them before waking them up,” I told her as we stopped in front of the two cryo tubes. In one was Bucky, in the other was Milly. Their wounds had healed and they were dressed in clean, white clothes. In the tubes, they looked at peace.

“You give them a moment alone before knocking them out?”

I looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?”

Natasha snorted. “Obviously not, if you’re asking that question. You probably followed Barnes around like a lost puppy. Poor things, they have sex once, get arrested, flee the country again, and end up unconscious. All without having the chance to fuck again.”

Spluttering indignantly, I countered her. “I haven’t seen Bucky in years! You can’t blame me from wanting to spend time with him!”

She patted my shoulder. “I’m messing with you, Steve. Now how about thawing these suckers out. I brought Tony’s BARF memory thing. We can put them in, pin point where the trigger words are, and black them out. Then Wanda can work on keeping the memories like that in their heads. It’ll take some trial and error, but I think we can get it all done today. We may miss dinner, but so be it.”

I smiled, relief washing over me. “They’ll be so glad to hear that.”

And glad they were. The tubes slid open, fog rolling out. With a jolt, Bucky woke up. 

“Milly!” he gasped, his eyes flying open, looking for her.

“She’s right here, don’t worry,” Natasha said, comforting him. 

Milly woke next. Her hands came up, swinging at unseen attackers. Snarling, her eyes opened and looked around, unfocused.

“Wow there, you’re okay,” I told her, backing away from her wild swings.

“Bucky,” she snarled, ignoring me.

Stumbling out of the cryo tube, she collapsed onto the floor in a heap, weakened from the extended stay. Bucky shakily stepped from his tube and made his way to her.

Natasha led them to a couch we had brought in and got them settled with some blankets. I found a few space heaters and turned them on, blasting the warm air towards them. As the two warmed up, their minds seemed to wake up more. 

“So, you found a way to cure us?” Bucky asked, his teeth chattering.

“Yeah, it’ll take most of the day, but we’ll get you two back on your feet in no time,” I told them, giving them what I hoped was a reassuring smile. 

“But first, how about something to eat?” Natasha said. “You two stay here. Steve and I will go get you two something. It may take a while, so just… relax.” With a wink, she grabbed my wrist and tugged me along behind her. 

I could hear Bucky snort behind us while Milly gave a light giggle. Once in the hall, Natasha gave me a sly smile. “And thats how its done, Capsicle.”

“Don’t you start that too.”

\----

“Bucky, I know it’s been forever, but I am too damn tired for sex.”

I laughed and nuzzled into her. “Same with me. I just want to hold you.”

She laid her head on my chest, the blankets draped across us, trapping in the heat. I let my hand travel up and down her spin, dancing across the ridges. Milly sighed, relaxing into my touch. I was reminded of when we huddled for warmth in the car in Canada. It seems that she was remembering it too.

“I promise not to dump you onto the ground this time,” she mumbled, her face squished against my pec. I squeezed her, laughing. 

“Milly, do you want to stay here?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

I cleared my throat, nerves starting to get to me. “Once we’re cured, we can go and reenter society without fear of hurting anyone. I want to know if you want to stay with the Avengers or if you want to leave. We could do it; sneak out at night and disappear.”

She pulled back to look into my eyes. “But what about Steve? He’s your best friend.”

I nodded. “He is. But your safety is more important. If you think we’ll be safer somewhere else, then I want us to leave.”

Milly’s hand came up and cradled my face gently. “Bucky, you don’t have to give up everything for me like this.”

“But I want to. I want to do what you want.”

She smiled. “I know. But I want you to do what's best for you. That’s all I want. 

Confused, I cocked my head to the side, hoping she’d clarify.

“You love me enough to leave your best friend again, and that means a lot. But I don’t want you to leave him. He’s your family. What type of person would I be if I pulled you away from your family? I wouldn’t be a person worthy of your love, that's for sure. I want you to stay with them and I want to stay with you. We’ll be safer in a group and we’ll be happier. I mean, if Steve likes these people, they can’t be too bad.”

I snorted. “Steve likes me, so I don’t think his judgement is the best.”

“Well, at least I have something in common with him.”

“That’s for damn sure, Little Miss ‘Hold-a-gun-to-my-own-head-and-hope-for-the-best.’ Your judgement is sorta shit.”

She laughed. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“I hated seeing him put his hands on you. Hated seeing him kiss you,” I admitted, sobering up.

Milly grew quiet. “I feel like I can still taste him. The blood, the sweat… everything.”

I tucked her hair behind her ear, caressing her as my hand went along. Milly leaned into my touch, her eyes closed.

“Let me fix that for you.”

We both leaned in and locked our lips together. It was a slow kiss; nothing rushed or hurried about it. Her lips glid and slid against mine with ease. I groaned slightly, feeling blood divert south. 

“Should probably stop,” Milly said, pulling away. “Before they come back.”

“Probably for the best. Just lay down with me. I need to be close to you right now.”

She nestled herself further down into the blankets, her cool skin pressing against my warmer flesh. Sighing in content, I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to claim me, finally feeling relaxed enough to rest.


	35. Triggers

Natasha and I returned laden down with plates of food. Without knocking, Natasha kicked the door open. I could tell by her face she was hoping to startle Bucky and Milly, possible catching them in a compromising position to tease them about later. 

Instead, we found them fast asleep where we left them. They were stretched out and tangled together along the length of the couch. Milly’s cheek was pressed to Bucky’s chest, his metal arm wrapped around her protectively. Bucky’s head had fallen backwards to rest on the armrest of the couch. The blankets were wrapped tightly around them, the heaters blasting hot air at them. 

“I give these assholes time alone, and they choose to sleep. They just woke up!” Natasha complained, setting the food down.

“It wasn’t a natural sleep, give them a break.”

Natasha went over and patted Bucky’s forehead, making him jump slightly. He cracked his eyes opened and glared up at her. Milly sniffled slightly, snuggling further down under the blankets.

“We’ve got food. Time to get up,” I said, setting my plates down. 

Bucky forced Milly to sit up and handed her a plate first. Her eyes were still half closed as she shoveled food into her mouth, not bothering to look at what she was eating. The two ate in silence, too tired to talk. Every once in awhile, Milly would put some food onto Bucky’s plate, which he’d eat. When she had a smudge of crumbs at the corner of her mouth, he’d reach over and wipe them away. The way they moved around each other was so gentle, so loving. It was comfortable and familiar. I felt a pang in my chest while watching the two of them. They were so in love, and I was happy for them, but I was still so scared. 

If Milly didn’t want to stay, Bucky would go.

And I couldn’t stop him. He loved her too much; what type of person would I be if I kept him from her?

Once they ate, we took them to a room that T’Challa had cleared. In the center, they placed a single chair with shackles around the arm rests. As soon as Milly spotted it, she stopped.

“I don’t understand,” she said, fear evident on her face.

“To access the memories properly, we need to have some props. If the system has something to overlay the memories with, the memory is better focused. Calm down, you won’t be in the chair. You’ll be standing off to the side,” Tony said from the corner of the room. He was wearing some casual clothes as he worked, putting up different little bits of tech that I still couldn’t understand. Some of T’Challa’s scientists were doing the same all around the room, working quickly.

Milly visibly relaxed. “Thank god. I wasn’t about to let any of you chain me up.”

“Not even Barnes?” Tony asked, winking.

The only answer he got were blushed cheeks from Milly and Bucky.

I decided to interfere. “How about we just get started on this?”

Tony fitted the necessary tech onto Bucky and began to program the system. Suddenly, a whirring noise started and the room changed. A copy of Bucky sat in the chair, though the chair looked larger, with plates and clamps all over it. The copy’s chest was heaving, eyes shifting back and forth in fear. Men moved around him, preparing him for the procedure. 

“ _ I swear, as soon as you let me out of this chair, I’m going to kill you all, _ ” he growled. One of the men stopped and glared down at him. Without saying a word, he swung and punched the copy of Bucky. Blood flew as his lip was split. An electric hiss started up, electrifying the chair. The double screaming, writhing in his seat. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Milly take Bucky’s hand and squeeze it tightly. 

A different man, one who was obviously a scientist, stood before the copy of Bucky. He babbled away in Russian for a moment before starting in on Bucky’s trigger words. Suddenly, the scene froze.

“And here’s where I change it,” Tony said. He tapped away on the computer for a few minutes. The scene backed up, pausing where Bucky’s double had his head thrown back in pain. With a press of a button, the scene resumed. The same man spoke in Russian, then everything went dark. When lights returned, Bucky was sitting in the chair still, but this time he was quiet and obedient. When they released the shackles, he leapt from the chair and attacked the nearest person. He was quickly sedated and the scene ended. Wanda moved in and her hands danced around Bucky’s head, solidifying the new memory in place. 

“Why’d you change it so he attacked the dude?” Natasha asked.

Tony shook his head. “I didn’t I just blacked out the words. My guess is that since Barnes promised to kill them, those words were stuck in the Winter Soldier’s head. This was the first time they successfully got him to transition to the soldier.”

“So you’re just blocking out the words?” Milly asked. “How will that help? The words could still trigger him.”

“Our hope is that if we block out the times the words were successful, that they’ll lose their power. Instead, Bucky’s memories will show that when they first said those words, during failed attempts before this event, he stayed himself. The brain will be tricked into dissociating those words with being the Winter Soldier,” Tony explained, working on keying up the next memory.

“Could he still be triggered?” I asked. “With you blacking out everything, he may just associate being unconscious with being the Winter Soldier.”

“He has a point,” Wanda said, stepping away from Bucky. “Having one memory with the blackout won’t hurt anything, but from here on out, just cut the audio. I think that will be best.”

Bucky nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’d rather not get knocked out by accident someday and then wake up trying to kill people.”

And that's how we spent half the day. Tony would zoom in on the times Bucky was triggered, the memory was altered, and we moved onto the next. As time went on, I could see all of us besides Milly and Bucky were becoming shellshocked. The scenes we were experiencing were horrible. The torture and abuse that Bucky had undergone was unimaginable. The way they warped his mind and made him so childlike and dependent was just sick. 

We eventually reached the one where they prepped Bucky to kill the Starks. The double looked at his handlers in confusion as they showed the pictures of his targets. 

“I know them, don’t I?” 

That earned Bucky a blast from the electric panels. I could see Tony watching the scene closely, his face falling as he saw Bucky try to fight the programming and earning a new round of torture for it. 

I thought my heart was going to break when I saw Bucky try to insist that he knew me and didn’t want to fight me. His handlers slapped him and wiped him for his disobedience.

Finally, Tony and Wanda adjusted the last trigger.

“Alright, Milly’s turn,” Tony said, coming over to rig Milly up. 

\----

Bucky, now exhausted, sat down on the floor, his back pressed into the wall. I sat down beside him, not speaking and not touching, but close enough that he knew he wasn’t alone. 

Milly’s first memory sprung up, though it was different from Bucky’s. The room was brighter, whiter, and far cleaner. She looked young, her eyes wide and pleading. 

“Please, just give them food” her double begged. “It’s been three weeks! They’re just kids!” She was met with an open handed slap.

There was a wide range of languages being spoken in the room. I could hear Russian, German, English, and more. My stomach turned as they began pressed electrodes to her temples. Her wild, messy hair fell across her face as she pulled away from them. One of the scientists tried to force a strip of leather into her mouth but she bit his hand instead, drawing blood.

“Bitch,” the man said in a heavy accent. 

“Give them food and I’ll do what you want,” the double said, still begging. “Please, I’ll cooperate.”

A look passed between some of the scientists. 

“Agreed,” one of them said. 

And with that, Milly opened her mouth and allowed them to slip the leather in. The electric shock started up, causing her to arch off her seat. A muffled scream came from her as she bit harder into the leather, wearing at its surface. Eventually, they stopped the assault and began to read her words. The scene froze and began to rewind, the room silent.

“Milly,” Natasha said, her voice quiet. “Who were they starving?”

“Kids,” she croaked. “Little ones. They were experiments. A couple had already starved to death. I just wanted them to get something to eat.”

The scene restarted from Milly getting shocked. The man in front of her spoke her words, but none of us could hear him. When the sound returned, we watched as the copy of Milly shakily got to her feet and waited for instructions. We watched as a man, a prisoner, was brought in and she was instructed to shoot him.

The gun wavered in her hand as she pointed it at him. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the trigger. The bullet struck his shoulder, spinning him backwards.

Quickly the gun was taken from her hands. A solid blow landed on her jaw, driving her to her knees. They screamed at her in their native tongue. Without warning, the copy of Milly stood up, headbutting the nearest one, cursing at him. 

The scene faded out and we moved onto the next one. A few hours later, we ended on Zemo triggering Milly. Without any sound, we got to watch as Milly screamed and cried as she ripped her way from the containment unit, all the while Zemo stalked around her cage. Her fists beat on the glass, cracking it with each strike. As he said the last words, she completely shattered the door of her box.

Tony cut the feed, ending Milly’s session. 

“Alright kids, shows over,” Milly said, tugging at the various things Tony had hooked up to her. He rushed over and helped her to remove everything. I could tell by the look on his face that he was scared she’d break some of the advanced technology.

“Where’s the kitchen at? I’m taking Milly there.” Bucky said. Grabbing ahold of the girl’s hand and pulling her close.

One of T’Challa’s scientists offered to take them there. They let the woman lead the way, staying close together. Wanda looked over at Tony, Natasha, and I with tears in her eyes.

“The things they went through…” she started.

“Were horrible,” Tony finished. “I can’t even imagine. I mean, how can they be up walking around and acting normal? I’d be a mess! I wouldn’t want to even get out of bed.”

“They’re tough,” Natasha said.

I nodded in agreement. “And they have each other. I think they’ll be okay.”

“We still have to test if it worked,” Tony said. Nervously, he fidgeted with some of the tech in his hands. “I think we should separate them for it. Put them each in a room and then use an intercom system to say the trigger words.

“It’d have to be a sturdy room. Wouldn’t want them busting out if they turn, you know?” Natasha said.

“This room can work,” I supplied. “We put one of them in first, if it works, then we trade them out. Easy.”

“This is going to be fun,” Tony said sarcastically. 


	36. Soft Skin and Hard Metal

Watching Milly fidget, waiting for her mind to be lost to her, was painful. I’d volunteered to read the words to her. I knew that if she became triggered and we got her back, I’d be the only one she’d be able to continue to trust. If any of the others read the words, Milly would have bad feelings towards them forever. 

I spoke the last word and waited, waited for anything. 

Milly blinked a few times, and then smiled. It was so wide and beautiful, all white teeth and joy.

“Nothing! I felt nothing!” she cheered.

I hurried to unlock the door. As soon as it was open, she was in my arms. Leaping off the ground, she had her legs wrapped around my hips and her arms around around my neck. Hungrily, she kissed at my lips. I felt her heartbeat against my chest. It was just racing, beating steady and strong, proving she was alive and mine. 

“Wow there, I still have to be tested,” I told Milly, prying her off my body.

She gave a pathetic, though erotic, whine.

“Do you want me to read for you?” she asked. 

I nodded. “Only other person I’d trust to do it would be Steve and he’d feel too guilty if something happened.”

“He’d give you that beat puppy look he’s so good at.”

I laughed along with her. We shared one last kiss before I stepped into the room and she locked me in. 

The wait was the hardest part. I paced back and forth, waiting for the disembodied voice to ring out over the speakers. Eventually, they crackled to life and I could hear Milly clear her throat.

“Alright, Buck. Here we go.”

It used to be that when someone read me my trigger words, I’d feel a pull inside  me. It would feel like something was trying to claw its way out. It was all pain and torture and fear when I heard the words. But as I heard Milly speak them, her voice soft and gentle instead of loud and mean, I didn’t feel any pain. I still felt anxious, but I didn’t feel like I had before. When she spoke the final phrase, I waited, fearing that the soldier was going to break through and take over; that I’d hurt someone. Instead, there was nothing.

“Bucky? How are you feeling?” I heard Steve ask.

“I’m good!” I said, a smile creeping up my lips. “I think Milly and I are in the clear.”

Our little group went to meet T’Challa and tell him the good news. We would have told everyone else but they’d all gone to bed by that point. 

“I’m glad to hear you are both well. We have set up rooms for you two, which I can take you to. If you’d just follow-”

Natasha cut T’Challa off. “Are you fucking with us?”

He looked taken aback, as did his bodyguard.

“Excuse me?” he said.

“They’re sharing a room. I mean, they shared a bed for the past couple of years. I think they can continue, don’t you?” she snapped. Natasha crossed her arms in front of her and cocked one hip out to the side, daring him to argue.

Steve spoke up. “I mean, if they want to share a room, it's not a big deal, right?” 

T’Challa nodded. “I’m sorry, I just assumed they would want their own space. I can have Milly’s clothes moved to Bucky’s room in the morning. I have some clothes for you two to sleep in. There’s a bathroom connected to the bedroom so you can get cleaned up before bed.”

His bodyguard stepped forward, handing bundles of clothes to Milly and I. She gave both of us a kind smile before returning to T’Challa’s side. 

I bid goodnight to the Avengers that were still awake before following T’Challa to the room he’d had prepared for me. When we stepped in, I was a startled by how large it was. 

The bed was massive and sat high of the floor. I knew Milly was going to have to jump a little to get in it. The sheets looked silky and the comforter soft. There was a bookshelf on one wall with books I didn’t recognize. On the wall opposite the bed was a large, flat screen television. As I walked across the room to set the clothes down on the bed, I was surprised by how plush and thick the carpet was.

“If you need anything, let me know,” T’Challa said before making his exit.

Once the door was closed and we were alone, Milly dropped her bundle of clothes on the floor and took a flying leap at the bed. Giggling wildly, she laid spread eagle on the massive mattress.

“There's so much space!” she squealed.

I flopped onto it, being sure to drape myself across her stomach. “Ugh, I think the bed is a bit lumpy.”

“Get off me, you ass!”

I wiggled more, keeping her pinned down. “I think I need a different bed. This one is making noise.”

“Fine, go take the room they put together for me. I’ll just use the shower here all by myself. Getting covered in soap suds… all alone,” Milly said, shoving at me to get off.

I sat straight up, freeing her. “On second thought, this bed is great. I’ll stay here. How about we look at the shower, hmm?”

\----

I pulled my shirt up and over my head, my hair gathering static as it went. Bucky chuckled when he saw the flyaway hairs puffing up around my face. I stuck my tongue out at him as I smoothed my hair back.

We stripped down quickly, not taking time to look at each other. We were desperate to get into the warm water.

The shower in our bathroom was fancy. It was far nicer than anything I’d ever used. Water fell from a plate on the ceiling, almost like rain. The tiles glimmered as water ran down them. Bucky curiously poked at a panel on the wall inside the shower, trying to figure out how to get the temperature to change.

“It's only getting colder,” he whined. 

Suddenly, a blast of steam puffed from the plate above and the water warmed up. Bucky cried out in surprise and jumped back. Gathering himself, he eased himself into the water, giving a sinful groan as the water rolled across his tight muscles. I followed in, running my hands through my tangled hair and allowing the water to seep into the snarls. 

“That’s going to be a bitch to brush out,” Bucky said, touching the knots. “Let me help.”

His fingers ran through the wet strands, gentle working the tangles apart. I leaned into his touch as his fingers massaged my scalp. Once he’d freed the knots, he began to rub the shampoo into my hair. The suds ran down my forehead, but never reached my eyes. Bucky’s thumb would reach out and wipe the soap away before it would reach my closed lids.

Gently, Bucky tilted my head back into the water, allowing it to wash the dirt and sweat away along with the silky soap. Next, he massaged the conditioner into my scalp, running his fingers through the slick strands and distributing the soft cream.

“Feels good,” I mumbled, pressing my head in his hands, much like a dog looking for affection. 

Bucky chuckled, dragging his nails along my sensitive skin. I groaned, biting my lip lightly. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on my cheek. We rinsed the conditioner out and stood in the running water, allowing it to cascade over us. 

I looked up at him with hooded eyes, smiling in the dim light. Droplets caught in his long eyelashes, falling free every time he blinked. My blunt nails lightly traced down his skin, winding from the base of his skull, around to the hollow of his collar bones, down the front of his chest, and to his stomach. I could feel him jump and shiver beneath my touch.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, pressing my lips to the juncture of his metal arm and the rest of  my body.

“Careful, doll,” he warned. “That’s sensitive.”

I tapped my fingers along the metal. “Do you want to cover it? We could talk to Tony and T’Challa about making a large amount of holo-skin for you.”

“Would you like it better if it looked like skin?” Bucky’s voice was soft and cautious. My stomach tightened, knowing that I’d struck a nerve of his. 

“I love you either way, Buck,” I said, planting more kisses to his metal arm, placing kitten licks along the seam.

“What do you prefer?” he asked, a hint of humor returning to his voice. “Soft skin?’ he asked, his hand roaming up and teasing my breast, palming it gently. “Or hard metal?” his other hand came up, cupping my other breast.

“Well, the metal arm is kinda hot…”

Bucky snorted. “Kinky.”

With that, we were on each other. 


	37. Living Map

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys can finally find out where the name comes from!!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, it means a lot! Let me know what you think in the comments!

I pressed her into the tile wall, pinning her there with my larger body. Her arms were wrapped around the back of my neck. I could feel her breasts pressing against my chest, her slick skin sliding against mine. Hungrily, I trailed kisses down her throat and to the curve of her cleavage. 

“Buck, we haven’t gotten you cleaned yet,” she said, her voice breathy.

“I’ll live.” I reached over, not taking my lips from her wet skin, and turned the shower off. I continued to lavish her neck as I moved us towards the door of the shower. Milly reached out and grabbed a towel. She attempted to dry me off, but with the way I was clinging to her, she couldn’t.

“We are not going to get the sheets all wet, Barnes, so dry off.”

I grinned at her wickedly. “We can get them wet in a different way.”

She playful slapped at my arm. Wrapping herself in a towel, she made her way back to the bedroom. I followed close behind, my towel hanging loosely on my hips. As she reached the bed, Milly turned to look at me. Her eyes lit up with a new fire.

“God, you look delicious,” she huskily said. Letting her towel fall off of her, she ripped mine away, leaving us both bare. Not saying a word, she dropped to her knees before me.

Her mouth was warm and desperate as she took me in, swallowing round my hardened cock. The vibrations of her moans traveled up and into my bones, setting all of my nerves alight. I had to forcefully remind myself not to let my hips canter forward. I kept myself as still as I could, not wanting to hurt or scare Milly. But, God, the way her tongue moved and the way her lips slid… it was hard to control myself. 

She tilted her head back slightly, allowing me to move even further into her throat. That's when I snapped. My hand tangled in her still wet hair and my hip bucked forward. She gave a slightly choked noise, but when I tried to pull away, she pressed forward, keeping me in her. 

With a final pull of her lips, she released me. I didn’t wait for her to say anything. I just grabbed her and pulled her to her feet, hungrily kissing her. Her teeth grazed against my swollen bottom lip, making me growl slightly. One quick push and she was lying flat on her back on the bed. 

It was my turn to drop to my knees before her. I licked and nibbled at her like a starving man, urged on by the noises she made. Her delicate fingers stroked my hair and brushed across the shell of my ear. It wasn’t long before she was shuddering, her muffled cries filing the room as she called out my name from the peak of her ecstasy. Once she’d come down for the high, she was pulling me back up her body, begging me to fuck her.

“Please, Buck, I need you. Please.”

I took myself in hand and rubbed the blunt tip against her slit. Milly squirmed beneath me, desperate. As I pushed into her, I could tell I wasn't going to last long. 

\----

A coil built up inside me as he swirled his tongue around my clit. A warmth spread from my toes and up my legs, all my muscles clenching tight. As the feeling reached its height, pleasure radiated from where Bucky touched me and exploded throughout my body. 

I felt his name trip off my tongue as my thighs clenched tightly on either side of his head. But my boy did not slow down for a second. Once I’d ridden out my orgasm, I was clamoring at his shoulders, trying to pull him up to kiss me.

“Please, Buck, I need you. Please,” I begged, pushed my hips up to grind at his length. 

He refused me, instead choosing to stand at the edge of the bed, still between my legs. Bucky teased me, pressing his tip just at my entrance. He caressed me, watching as I pressed myself up to meet him. When he finally pressed himself into my still fluttering core, Bucky’s eyes slid closed and his mouth fell open into a silent moan.

He pulled back a fraction of an inch, only to press himself right back into me. 

“Oh, God, Milly,” he groaned, picking up the pace. “I’m not going to last…”

“Don’t care,” I said, moving my hips to meet his thrusts. “Just fuck me.”

That’s when he let his ever tight grip on the reigns slacken. One hand came up to the junction of my neck and shoulder, his thumb pressing into the side of my throat, while his other hand held my hip. Bucky took up a brutal, punishing pace as he fucked into me. Every stroke sent a fire through my body until I was ready to burst again. I tried to speak, but before I could, his thumb was rubbing across my clit in small circles and the world was lost to me. My mind became a haze as pleasure coursed through me. I felt my body arch off the bed as my muscles tightened. Bucky cried out, calling my name, as he spilled himself inside of me, urged on by the sudden tightness around his swollen member.  

We collapsed onto the bed, still joined. Languidly, we pressed closed mouthed kisses to each other’s skin. Once he’d slid out of me, he forced me to go and clean myself up, refusing to listen to my protests.

“You can come and cuddle once you have your pajamas on,” he told me. 

Beneath the covers, Bucky held me close, as though he was afraid of losing me. 

As we grew comfortable in our bed, we dozed off, oblivious to the world around us.

\----

A knocking at the door woke us up.

“Are you two decent?” a voice called.

Milly groaned and buried herself further down into the mass of blankets draped across us.

“Decent enough,” I told the speaker. 

The door swung open, revealing Sam, the guy who flew around with metal wings.

“Steve said you two were cured,” he said, leaning against the wall.

I nodded, “Wanda and Tony got it taken care of.”

Suddenly, a pillow smacked me in the face. 

“If you are going to talk, leave the room,” Milly grumbled, dragging the pillow back and shoving her head beneath it.

Sam laughed while gesturing for me to follow. I pulled myself out of the bed, being sure to keep the blankets tucked around Milly. 

Out in the hall, Sam and I continued our conversation.

“So, I was talking to Steve and T’Challa and I had an idea. I wanted to run it past you before we take it to Tony,” he said.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Well, Wakanada is the most technologically advanced civilization and have access to an insane amount of vibranium. I was thinking that, with Stark’s help, T’Challa’s people could create a new arm for you.”

I looked at my arm, confused. “What's wrong with it?”

“Nothing!” he said hastily. “But it does have a giant Russian star on it. Figured you wouldn’t want it.”

Shrugging, I shuffled closer to the bedroom door. “I’ll talk Milly and see what she thinks.”

Sam smiled. “Alright, let me know.”

As I opened the door to go back to the bed, I was startled to find Milly standing there, waiting.

“I got curious,” she said defensively. 

Chuckling, I bundled her into my arms. I rested my chin on the top of her head as she nuzzled closer to my chest. Her thin arms came up around my waist, her fingers wrapping themselves in the back of my shirt. 

“So you think I should get the new fancy arm?” I asked, tracing circles on her neck. I felt her shiver.

“You should probably at least get the star covered up. I mean, you aren’t even Russian.”

I snorted. “That’s your reasoning to get rid of the star? I’m not Russian?”

“Sounded better than saying ‘oh its a mark your tormentors branded you with. You should cover it so you don’t have a constant reminder of the torture you underwent.’”

Her shoulders shook as she laughed at her own words. I tickled at her jaw, making her squeal. 

“If I’m getting rid of the star, you’re getting rid of the numbers on your arm.”

She froze up. It took her a moment, but she spoke.

“It’d only be fair.”

“Then let’s go tell Sam and the others.”

\----

“Ow!” I hissed, flinching beneath the tattoo gun.

“If you keep moving, it’ll be messed up,” Natasha warned from the chair beside me. She watched the artist work with mild curiosity. “Did you tell Barnes what you were getting?”

I shook my head. “It's a surprise.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll like it,” the artist assured, continuing his work. “Just try to relax and hold still.”

As the final section was filled, Bucky entered the room.

“Now, what about the color red? We can add some gold trim too if you’d-”

“Tony, how about you give him a break?” Steve said, trailing behind the two. “You just spent hours inside his arm. He’s probably sick of hearing about the thing.”

“He’s probably sick of hearing your voice, Tony,” Natasha chimed in, looking over her shoulder to smile at them.

“Shut up, Romanoff,” Tony snapped. “Hey, little spy, let’s see the ink.”

The artist wiped his cloth across the newly tattooed skin one last time before gesturing for me to show them the mark.

I held my arm up for them to see. Bucky took a step closer, looking at the tattoo. His eyes were lit up with joy as he smiled at it.

“I love it,” he said, his metal fingers reaching out to skim across the skin.

“Come on, Barnes, scoot over so we can all see!”

Natasha, Steve and Tony crowded in to get a good look. 

On my arm was a small map of the world. The countries were outlined in a dark, navy blue ink that looked nearly black in the dim light. Each of the countries was filled in with a lighter grey color. We’d placed the map so that Asia spanned across the old, faded numbers. The grey ink wasn’t especially dark, but it was heavy enough to cover the old tattoo. On the map were small red dots marking different locations. There were a few in America, the most easily recognized location being DC. A single red mark could be seen in Canada. There was a red dot in England, then in Romania. Another marked Moscow and another marked Wakanada.

“What is it?” Tony asked, looking at it curiously.

“It's the places where good and important things happened in my life” I explained, staring at the tattoo lovingly. “Here’s where I was born, here’s where I met Dimitri, here’s the lodge, DC, Bucharest-”

“You marked Moscow. Why?” Steve asked. “That wasn’t a very good place.”

“It was good for Bucky and I. We killed the dick who was trying to ruin us,” I explained.

“And Wakanda because you guys were cured here, right?” Natasha asked.

I nodded. “That, and it's our home, at least for now. We’re sticking around with you crazy assholes, wherever that may take us. And when we go on adventures or find a new home, I’ll make a new mark on my little map.”

Bucky wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of my head.

Tony looked on pensively before giving a resounding nod. “You’ll be a living map. I dig it.”

Natasha’s phone beeped, distracting the red haired woman. She glanced at the screen and smiled. 

“Looks like you may be needing to make a new mark on the map. We’re needed in Brazil.”

Steve chuckled. Patting my shoulder one last time, he straightened to his full height. 

“Let’s get suited up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and kudos! Thanks, friend!


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